Elderly parents won't write wills or funeral plans.

You can hand everything over to a probate solicitor if you wish. You’re under no obligation to deal with a deceased persons estate.

This is very true. I did my dad's confirmation myself (we are in Scotland where probate is called confirmation) but there was no property involved as their house is in mum's sole name and it was just other assets like savings and insurance policies. I still needed to pay a solicitor to help with the completion of the forms as it is designed in Scotland to be complicated.

When mum goes and there is a house to be valued and sold, I will be using the solicitor a lot more.

https://www.co-oplegalservices.co.uk/media-centre/articles-sep-dec-2017/can-you-pay-funeral-expenses-out-of-the-estate/#:~:text=Funeral%20expenses%20can%20usually%20be,the%20complexity%20of%20the%20Estate.

See end of second paragraph. Barclays had no issue with this for my MiL.

Very true.

You can hand everything over to a probate solicitor if you wish. You’re under no obligation to deal with a deceased persons estate.

Doesn’t the funeral director submit the bill to the bank? Presumably with a copy of the death certificate? And as regards death certificates, it’s as well to order plenty when registering a death - a lot of organisations want them, and they won’t accept photocopies. I ordered a dozen when registering DM’s death - there were two executors for her will, a few hundred miles apart! - and they both needed them.

The LPAs cost £82 each online (one for health and welfare, one for Property and Finances). The fees are reduced by half if the donor has an income of less than £12k p.a. You can also apply for exemption from fees if certain benefits are being claimed.
Where the situation is quite straightforward, it’s very easy to do it online (that’s what I did with my mum). Where someone has more complicated wishes or finances, I’d advise doing it through a solicitor. My father did this and I think it cost him close to £1000 for both LPAs.

This is simply not true, all high street banks will pay the funeral invoice before probate.

Firstly the intended deceased - OPs parents, haven’t made any requests regarding their funeral. Secondly, the deceased bank will pay the funeral directly out of the deceased account.

OP @Iaminthefly the benefit of having wills and plans in place is that they get to choose how everything is executed. If they don’t, then it’s between you and your brother which means they may not have their wishes met.
If your mum wants buried then tell her it’s up to her to arrange a plot etc now otherwise she will be cremated as per your wishes. I wouldn’t bury a relative unless specifically arranged. I wouldn’t want a gravestone to visit etc so why would I bury them. My husband and I know each others wishes and will carry them out. I know my mums wishes and also will carry them out but she’s got a plot, although nothing else arranged but will do what she wants because she has a plan.

Funerals are paid directly by the bank out of the deceased funds - funeral director sends them the invoice, they pay it.
POA ceases once the person has died, so doesn’t help in any way to wind up their affairs.

My mum has sorted hers all out last year. She is 76. Fit and healthy however I am no contact with my sibling due to their behaviour and I asked my mum to make things easier for me for when the inevitable happens as I don't want or need any arguments.

So my mum has sorted her will, POA, her funeral all paid and details of hymns etc.all written down. So that I can show my sibling that I'm fullfilling mums wish.

Hi, what do you mean about getting an extra amount on inheritance tax if you inherit the home?

I've got one - it will be fully paid up next year. I have a LPA for both health and finance too, with my niece and a cousin as joint/several attorney. And a will.

They won't; I've just been through it all. The whole estate is frozen for probate and no withdrawals are allowed, starting from when the person died. Obviously that's retrospective, as it takes time for the death to be registered and probate to kick in, but any transactions after the death and before probate is granted are treated as suspicious and investigates. Banks do not release funds from deceased peoples' bank accounts for funerals. How would they be sure it's for the funeral, anyway? If the deceased wants to pay for their funeral, they need to transfer money to a third party before they die.

It’s been said, but wills and funeral plans are helpful but if you don’t have them then it’s fine. Everything gets split between you and your brother and you get an extra amount on inheritance tax amount if you inherit their home. A lawyer will keep you right.

I learned the hard way that Power of Attorney is the thing that is most important when my Dad’s health deteriorated while selling his house. The whole thing was held up 8 months because I couldn’t act on his behalf.

Why would you want your parents to pay up front for burial plots when there's money in the estate to cover this when they pass? Life is for living op. Let your parents enjoy their money now. Seriously do not present your mum with bills for graves and so on when she's said she isn't happy to discuss it. Even a will is not important for a married couple unless very wealthy. As for music, flowers etc - you could start thinking now about their favourite music etc if it helps you but if they don't have strong feelings on the matter they just don't, and a eulogy will be totally sufficient personalisation. Re LPAs, I'm not sure what a solicitor charges for - these are available online with guidance on how to complete them. There's a stadard fee to pay like for a passport application.

Banks will release funds to pay for funerals before any estate is finalised.

Welcome to the world of stubborn elderly parents!

My late father brought a whole new meaning to the word "stubborn," as did his mother before him. Nothing you say will make any difference, so the best thing to do is detach from the issue as best you can. Otherwise they'll drive you into the ground before they're done, trust me.

Not unreasonable at all. My best friend, went to school together, an only child (!!!!!) with pre-deceased dad spent 3 years getting probate for her mother's estate in Scotland. Her mother died without a will, because mistakenly she thought that since her husband was dead, and she had only one child with whom she lived, no will is required and it will be straight forward. She had a living POA for her mum before that. First she had to obtain a bond of caution, then apply to be made executrix dative (would have been executrix nominate if there was a will). Every step of the way they tried to rip her off - her mother's solicitor, who did not tell her mother to write a will, was willing to 'sort everything out for 5 grand'. She did everything herself, hence it took her 3 years, but oh, boy, first thing I did when I just started hearing about her 'journey', I organised my will. Just hearing about it was scary, never mind going through it. Talk to your parents ASAP!

I've just made a new will as ds died so everything needs redoing....POA, pension trust and expression of wishes.
I also have a funeral plan....direct cremation.
My family know my wishes and will respect them.

I think there is a lot of irresponsibility and selfishness in many people unfortunately.

Fixed that for you. It's not a new phenomenon, it's not typical of any generation, it's always been the case that some people simply cannot face thinking about their own demise, or are too disorganised or lazy to sort things out for the benefit of their heirs, and so on.

They are probably too terrified to think about it. I think you should get two DIY will kits then try to sit down with each parent individually and go through it with them. It’s a lot less scary than going to a solicitor’s, isn’t it? I did a DIY one when I was about 35.

Getting them to plan their funerals I’m not sure about tbh. It’s one of those things you dread but is okay when the time comes and you will be able to deal with it. I would be wary of burial as it’s very expensive (around (£10,000). My parents services and cremations were about £4,000 each. I’d say the only thing you need to do at this stage is to know which local funeral director is the most reputable, then just leave it at that till the time comes.

Except, you have no idea of the complexity of some people’s estates or wishes.

It is no surprise that each of us is going to die one day, and by the time you get to 70 it is absolutely behooves each of us to make preparations for that which don’t mean other people have to do a task that should be considered part of normal adulting.

Being unable to think about or discuss ones wishes after death do not speak well to one’s maturity- at all.

OK, so you’re afraid of dying- making a will neither hastens nor delays it happening.

There are a lot of immortal people around in my experience. People who would never get hit by a car for example. Loads of them. Those people don't need Wills or LPAs apparently.

Everyone else needs them. Particularly if you have children under 18. Appoint guardians in your Will and get a set of LPAs in place in case you lose capacity so your kids life isn't as disrupted as much as it would be without LPAs. Both parents might be in the same car so unless you always travel separately just get it done.

My mum and dad both took out funeral plans about 10 years ago when they were about 70. Dad then developed dementia and died 2 years ago - the funeral plan was absolutely brilliant to have. None of the second guessing about what he would or wouldn't have wanted as it was all written down on the plan, he'd chosen what coffin style he wanted and the only decision my mum and siblings and I had to make was light or dark wood. He'd specified what sort of service he wanted, what music he wanted, cremation not burial, etc etc etc. So after he died it was just a case of phoning the firm of undertakers he had already specified in the plan and they did the lot according to his instructions.

It takes the pressure off the surviving elderly spouse and the children. The undertaker was also happy to let us add to the basic package he'd specified - so we paid extra for the service to be live streamed for the benefit of elderly relatives who couldn't travel.