Elderly parents won't write wills or funeral plans.

Why are some posters posting confidently that you don’t need probate if there’s a will? That’s literally the whole point of probate! To ensure that the will is executed correctly or if the person dies intestate that the intestacy rules are followed. This includes settling debts and any inheritance tax due before paying out to beneficiaries.

The only circumstances where probate isn’t required is where the estate is tiny - ie under a few thousand £s

A direct cremation costs about £1k to £1.5k, you cut your cloth and all that.

Why do people do this? You can't cheat death by not thinking about it. All they are doing is making life harder for future you. If they don't want to do this for themselves, they should do it for you.

If you don't know what their wishes are by the time of their deaths you'll just do your best to make good decisions and not feel guilty.

I'm more worried about what a hassle it will be for you sort all the admin - and there is a LOT of it when someone dies - if there is no will. A good will writer could quickly draft two mirror wills after a 30 minute meeting then you put them in a drawer and don't think about them again.

They should also sign lasting power of attorneys for health/welfare and property/finance as this will make your life much easier if one of them loses capacity or if one of them dies and the other isn't capable of doing the admin around their death. Better to to this now and forget about it than have the stress of trying to sort things out when one of them is in hospital.

Apt username!

Ageing is unpredictable. If you have the good luck to stay healthy and fit (and obviously it's not all luck, but a lot of it is), yes, of course it's a very good idea to keep active and try to have as positive an outlook on life as possible. However, it's not easy if you have serious health issues that cause pain and discomfort, limit activities and force you to stop doing the things you enjoyed; if you're bereaved; if you have money or family problems; and so on. Loneliness is a huge issue for elderly people.

if they didn't care enough to say then why are you keeping them?

The property plus £322k of other assets plus half of everything above that will cover the bulk estates for the vast majority of the population.

I assume they have money op? My mums partner died recently. He didn't have any money or funeral plan. His 4 kids had to scrape money together. Then eldest ended up putting thousands towards the funeral on his credit card. You are definitely right to worry.

All I can offer is this- if they have specific wishes, they may need to get them sorted asap.

My Dad wanted to be buried in a particular graveyard; but he doesn't live in the 'catchment.' It has taken us 2 years to get this sorted. Mainly because it had to go to the Church for approval and it is slow.........

Essentially, he grew up there, his family live there and 12 members of his family, including his Mum and Dad are buried there; so we had to get all of this together, fill in a document, present a case and then it went for approval. It took forever, and some decent amount of money, but we've got there now.

Maybe, if they have specific wishes, you show that they may not be able to have them, unless pre-organised, that might help them get started. Good luck OP

You would "imagine" but you don't know.

A solicitor advised me when i was in my late fifties to make my will and arrange POA so that it was done and I didn't have to think about it any more while I still (I hope) had many years of life ahead.

He said that it's much harder to think about the closer you are to the end of your life.

I'm very glad I received and took this advice.

Yes, they "can" apply, not that the must or are expected to do.

Well said! Things can change on the flip of a coin when you're younger too (e.g. a car accident that leaves someone alive, but without capacity). I think a lot of the people commenting just don't realise how difficult it would be to do anything for a loved one (or for a loved one to do anything for them) in this sort of situation. I just hope their casual approach to getting LPAs and Wills in place doesn't come back to bite them.

Ie you'd lose out in favour of your own children, which usnt everyone's idea if losing out. I have a will, BTW. I just don't think it is as unreasonable as you do to not panic about this.

Why a monumental mess?
According to Jung, the human brain can shut out the fear of death by living as though we are immortal. Otherwise it would be a terrible morbid kind of countdown.
I know ninety year olds who are still buying new clothes/decorating their houses, re-doing (via a gardener) their gardens and taking pleasure from life and living. That in turn keeps them young.
I don't disagree about POA which can be kept in your parents' house until/if required, but please don't get them to dwell on death/imagine themselves in their tomb!
They are only mid 70s!!!

I'm in the same boat ? Mum is 81 and won't conceive of the fact she is getting older and anything could happen at any time . Thinks she's immortal and has no interest in the fact I'll have a monumental mess to sort .

That's wicked. I do hope your DH renounced his Executorship (he didn't have to do it) and left it to his sister to sort out.

Well there you go then. I did say unless you're very wealthy, which I suppose is a relative concept but from my perspective that would include you. Having more assets complicates things by definition as there's more to sort out, but also more money to pay a solicitor or whatever. The intestate rules are based on what the average person's will says, so if you're average, it probably won't be too far off what you'd choose for yourself

Well said! My husband and I have had Wills (which we've periodically updated, as required) since our late 30's, and LPAs since our late 50's. I'm genuinely amazed (and disappointed) by some people on here thinking that you don't need either until you're creaking with old age or, worse still, at all! 😱I seriously hope they don't experience any of the stories I've read of "unexpected" things happening to people before they grow old.

Yes it is. According to recent data, a healthy 70-year-old in the UK can expect to live for an additional 15 years on average for men and 17 years for women, essentially meaning "70 is the new 65" when considering life expectancy. So if a healthy 70yr old man can expect to live until he's 85, then mid-70s is still elderly!

While I agree that the OP shouldn't pressure her parents to do anything (particularly as this may result in accusations of undue influence) I don't think it's wrong for the OP to point out what them sitting on their hands will mean for her if she has to pick up the pieces.

Unless they don't want her assistance if they lose capacity and/or aren't intending to leave her anything. (In which case they should make a Will anyway!).

If the house is jointly owned and the deceased spouse has less than £322,000 in his own name, then everything will go to the surviving spouse.

I would imagine if OP's parents had a house AND more than £644,000 in the bank together, they would have made a will.

Sit them down and do POA for health and finance before, god forbid, they develop dementia, for example. As next of kin, you and your brother inherit, so wills may not be as important. Play on their desire not to be a burden (hopefully) and tell them that organising funeral plans now will be a darn sight cheaper than doing it in say 10 years when they eventually pass.

If they won't make specific funeral plans then funeral directors are highly trained to navigate you through it and you can basically do a relatively straightforward service without having to know what it entails in advance.

The "bulk" is not "everything" and the greater the value of the assets, excluding the value of the jointly-owned marital home, the greater the financial loss to the surviving spouse or civil partner.

I don’t know but maybe they think someone who keeps asking them to make a will is basically asking them to decide what happens when they die - and maybe they think it’s a pretty shitty thing for them to be forced to think about but someone else.