Elderly parents won't write wills or funeral plans.

Always good to get a will in each jurisdiction where you have property. As in a house. Saves confusion.

True, but a U.K. will doesn’t override the inheritance laws of another country for other assets if they are permanent residents elsewhere. It can get very confusing! 🫤 the U.K. will would only apply to the U.K. house and assets.

If they have property (as in a house) in the UK still it's good to get a Will here as well as abroad. Saves confusion in two jurisdictions.

Yes I agree. I should have said I’m currently an expat in a place where lots of British retire to.

You won't need a LPOA to organise the funeral. When the applicant dies, so does the LPOA. We have just posted off our LPOA forms. It is very straightforward, if you have a simple family make up. You need to do 2 each, one for money, one fir health. The gov website is very easy to negotiate, and once you put you details in, the forms are printed off with your details in place. There are 22 pages for each application. The complicated bit is the order they need signing in, we sat all 4 people, me and DH, DD and the witness, and did each in order over a cup of tea. £82 each, so £164 per person. We spent quite a long time discussing implications of the various options, buy the website has plenty of notes to help you make the decisions that are right for you.
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/make-a-lasting-power-of-attorney

I assume OP you have made a will. Give them a copy as a hint.

Good to clarify that you are in a different jurisdiction and that the Intestacy rules of England and Wales are different from those that you have specified. Just in case anyone is thinking of taking your advice.

Just leave them to it and feel no guilt when you have to do what is best for you when the time comes....

The intestancy rules I wrote are true for where I live as ab example.

My central point still stands that a will is only needed if you want to deviate from the standard rules of inheritance.

It’s up to the OP’s parents to check what they are where she is and decide if they need a will or not.

Focus on the wills, they are important to do. Funeral plans as in stuff they try and sell and promote as a wise investment to save your family costs are pointless if you have a will. All you need to know is what they would like, if they want to tell you. The costs will be paid from their estate

You can't set up a POA for another person - they have to start the process. They decide who they want and then those people sign if they agree. And it ends with death.

The carehome definitely needs to go along with it. There was a recent case where LPAs were registered and the carehome happily took payment of fees from attorneys using the PF LPA until there was a quibble about payment. The carehome then said there is no way the lady in care had capacity at the time of the signing of the LPAs so payments should not have been made by the attorneys using the LPA. Outrageous really.

I wonder that about no one checking if I have LPA for health and welfare, all my siblings cousins etc happy with it so care home and GP happy to go along with it.

Martin Lewis posted this on X yesterday…

I don't understand why people are so selfish they won't sort these things out for their families.
I worked in an area where end of life plans were important. However even very elderly people's families would not put these things in place and left problems for those left behind.
I spoke to my parents and said I didn't want the distress of dealing with this when they were gone and explained the difficulties.
They allowed me to put funeral plans and Power of Attorney in place.
My husband and I then in our 50's did wills, funeral plans, power of attorney, put folders in place with all our details from NI numbers, left details of our finances.
Everything is in a folder for our family.
It's selfish not to sort things first your family.
Good luck speaking to them and explaining how you may feel in the event they pass and you have to deal with things.
We only discussed it at the time it's not something we bring up all of the time

So my DF died suddenly without a will last year. I agree the funeral directors were so helpful but the biggest issue was access to money to pay for it. My DF did not share any financial info with my DM and we had to spend ages working out what he had and where it was. Plus he had ongoing financial commitments to family members. And the catering for the wake had to be paid for upfront even if the funeral director would defer their bill initially. Me and all my siblings immediately got into conflict about money and ended up getting a 8k loan but I was lucky to have a friend who could lend it to me.
not having a will was v simple as there are clear rules re intestacy and it did not take too long as he had a surviving wife.
so I am a fan of some sort of financial provision being as it was very stressful in the immediate days after he died

Many years ago I was at the family solicitors with my mum. As we were leaving he said 'here's a present, fill them in'. They were two of the old enduring power of attorney forms. We'd not heard of them before. Anyway we filled them in and what a blessing that was. My mum got dementia and I had to sell her house to pay for her to go into a home. It would have been much more difficult without that bit of paper.

"Problems" with the POA forms will only arise if there's a disgruntled party, i.e. relative or friend who doesn't believe the wishes or intentions of the subject are being properly addressed or someone who believes they're being financially fleeced. If all the "nearest and dearest" on on the same page, then you can do what you like on the paperwork as there's no one who will complain/object. Of course, risky as there could be family disagreements etc arising afterwards and any anomalies like that are often remembered and complaints made later, sometimes even just for devilment!

Doing Power of Attorney isn’t hard at all.
We’ve just done ours and as long as you follow the Signature ‘rules’ ( although there is no way on earth they could ever prove the order in which they were signed) it’s fine, if a bit of a faff.

A direct cremation doesn't prevent family and friends celebrating a person's life. I remember a direct cremation that I was involved with where the family and friends rented our service room for £200 and they played the deceased's favourite music whilst sharing memories and looking at photos. The total cost was £1200; the only thing different was that they didn't go to the crematorium.

@SparkyBlue just out of interest I hunted down the registered letter it was 2022, must have changed since , you would think the government would want to make it easier not more difficult.

I'm irish in Ireland. Its been a few years since my dh did it with his mother, shes a very forward thinking woman who is into future proofing so she doesnt burden us , as we are her only remaining family .

I think I'd fall off my chair in shock if my mum managed to password protect a spreadsheet 😅 but you're completely right; I really should have a look over it - and put a password on it myself!

I'm in my 70s and I agree it's selfish not sorting your affairs out. It's bad enough being grief stricken without all the hassle of running around dealing with parents finances. Some friends of mine are having to do just that at the moment and it's a nightmare.

@taxguru I totally understand and agree about the LPa situation. I haven’t discussed funeral plans at all with my mum - she didn’t want to entertain talking about death, and I was ok with that. We eventually got her to agree to doing the LPAs online, but she had a debilitating stroke shortly after the forms were all submitted. It may well be too late, as you said about your MIL. By the time the LPAs come through (they say 8-10 weeks) and give me the authority I need to advocate for her, she might well be dead.