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AIBU?

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Original poster

He has me in tears

166 replies

zebraprintxmasdinner · 09/02/2025 02:20

Posted before about partner and his temper
Saving up for a car makes him in a bad mood which in turn he has been taking out on me

Lasy weekend he went pub Friday night. Started on me Saturday for no reason, spat at me told me I make him depressed etc etc. I tried diffuse situation but doesn’t get me anywhere

Yesterday drank 4 cans of Stella then started on me. Calling me useless, controlling, I moan about everything. I don’t.
Today has drank 1l of Baileys, verbally abused me, every time I speak told me shut the fuck up. Called me a rat, a cunt, a thick fuck

Hes got history of doing this. I have stupidly sent him my rainy day fund in a hope of some peace. I’ve had this for years. Bailing him out whilst I sit at bottom of his priorities. I don’t know why I’ve done it. What’s wrong with me

My miserable life, no friends, don’t socialise, no date nights no little prezzies not even a nice text msg of a morning

I don’t know why I even post this but haven’t got irl friends talk to. Don’t have any friends full stop anymore.

OP posts:
BettyBardMacDonald · 09/02/2025 03:22

Wtaf?

Why would you send him your rainy day fund?

Delphiniumandlupins · 09/02/2025 03:18

You don't deserve this treatment. You know you don't. Let him go if he wants to leave, tell him to go otherwise. Contact Women's Aid and get some advice. You are miserable because of him, life can only improve. Do this for yourself and your DC.

UtopiaPlanitia · 09/02/2025 03:17

I'm so sorry this man has ground you down to the point that you feel so unhappy. I think you have to realise that this man is never going to be happy and nothing you can do will make him happy, he prefers to be miserable and he's taking his bad temper and unhappiness out on you (and potentially your child).

You will never have to feel as bad as you do now if you get away from him - you'll become your own person again and you will have the chance at happiness and fulfilment that he is currently stopping you from having.

More importantly, don't let him ruin your child's life - you wouldn't let your child be treated like this by a partner, you have the chance to show your child what it's like to value yourself and to stand up for yourself.

There are women here who can give you practical advice and support, please see yourself as worth saving from this torture.

WearyAuldWumman · 09/02/2025 02:53

I'm begging you to dump him. He spat at you? Surely that's assault? I'm thinking that you could ask the police to intervene?

PinkoPonko · 09/02/2025 02:52

He’s abusive. Please throw him out for your sake and your child’s sake.

WearyAuldWumman · 09/02/2025 02:51

zebraprintxmasdinner · 09/02/2025 02:24

Live together just one kid

My house but he constantly threatens to move out cos he knows he gets his own way. I’m a gullible mess.

Let him move out. You have no quality of life with this abusive leech.

Meadowfinch · 09/02/2025 02:49

Oh OP, throw him out. It's your home, he's making you miserable, your poor child is learning from his behaviour. He's a freeloading abusive creep.

Tell him to leave, take his key while he's not looking and give yourself back your life. Good luck.

DaphneduM · 09/02/2025 02:47

So sorry to read your thread. He sounds awful and you absolutely don't deserve to be treated in such a horrible, disrespectful way. But, gently, OP - he's ground you down to such an extent that you've accepted that it's all your worth. Think about it - it's your house - so actually you have the power to change your life for the better. Also think about the effect on your child - terrible for them to witness their mum being verbally abused. I would ask him to leave - you're worth so much more than this - and deserve to have peace of mind, which you absolutely don't have with him draining the life out of you.

HereNext · 09/02/2025 02:41

zebraprintxmasdinner · 09/02/2025 02:24

Live together just one kid

My house but he constantly threatens to move out cos he knows he gets his own way. I’m a gullible mess.

Please throw him out.

You'll be so much happier.

I know it's not as easy as that when your self esteem and self worth has been eroded away, but you deserve better than this.

Original poster
zebraprintxmasdinner · 09/02/2025 02:35

your right nothing I have ever done is good enough I’ve had 2 weekends off since Xmas he’s spoiled both of them

OP posts:
Youngheartsalittletogetherness · 09/02/2025 02:33

Oh no op sending him your rainy day fund won't appease him nothing you do will ever be good enough.
It's not you that's the rat, useless cunt..he is though.
Get him out of your house so you and your child can have a happy existence without this abusive prick.

Lovemybunnies · 09/02/2025 02:31

Hi OP this is an awful way to live. You and your child need to be free of him and live in peace. He sounds vile. Do you have family who can help?

Original poster
zebraprintxmasdinner · 09/02/2025 02:28

Think I’ve just been ground down over years
I just accept everything he does and doesnt do
Dont know myself but I get quite bad for nostalgia and I obsess over it. Never had history of it

OP posts:
Bigbus · 09/02/2025 02:26

I can’t think why you are still with him? Even one of the things you described would be enough to end it. You are worth so much more than this. Call woman’s aid and get out now

Original poster
zebraprintxmasdinner · 09/02/2025 02:24

Live together just one kid

My house but he constantly threatens to move out cos he knows he gets his own way. I’m a gullible mess.

OP posts:
HereNext · 09/02/2025 02:23

That sounds a miserable way to live, OP.

I wouldn't spend a second longer with him. You'll be much happier once you're free of him.

What's your set-up, do you have kids with him, live together?

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