He has me in tears

Great, let him move out. If you can’t put yourself first, please prioritise your child.

Lie to get the rainy day find back. Think of an excuse.

He’ll just spend it on alcohol and abuse you even further.

Hes an abuser OP. A nasty nasty man who has no respect for you.

The old him is not coming back. You know that.

For the sake of your child who I’m sure you want to be a good happy stable mum for, this man needs to go.

You really don’t need him at all. This is not love.

Love is truth, kindness, respect, admiration, loyalty.

He spat at you. That is disgust and contempt.

These are two signs a relationship is irretrievably broken down.

He doesn’t love you OP and the sooner you stop hankering after the idea of love, with this man, the better.

Please see a counsellor to work on your self esteem and boundaries. You should not be allowing yourself to be treated like this. You are worthy of so much more. As women we need to police those lines very carefully because men will regularly test t them and cross them. It’s our job, to ALWAYS be able to walk away from a relationship if those boundaries are not respected. It’s your heart on the line. Treat it well, look after it, far away from this man.

Please get rid of him @zebraprintxmasdinner this is no way to live. Your child does not need him as an example to learn from. Please make sure you secure all your finances, change banking passwords and so on. I hope your rainy day fund you gave him was not huge - I guess no way to get it back. I’d be tempted to pack up his stuff while he’s out and change the locks! Being on your own is a far better alternative than what you are doing now.

Your poor, poor child. Can you not see the damage this is doing to them?

Please please throw this awful man out, there is a new pain free life waiting for you. Get his things together, put them outside, lock the house from inside. Send him a text, tell him, you can no longer put up with his abuse. If he makes trouble. Call the police. Tell him you want your money back,(you ne er know he might do it) he will only spend it on drinking. It can be a nice few days away with you and your child, once you have had time to heal. Don’t waste another minute with this loser. Xxx sending strength

At some point you have to accept you are in charge of your own destiny. You have let this man move in. You have given him all your money. He has destroyed your self-esteem. He shouts at you, swears at you, spits at you.

What else are you going to let him do? What is your tipping point?

You have agency here. Use it.

Your house?

Tell him to get to fuck. Pack his things, get him out.

Seriously. You and your child deserve better, especially in your own home.

OP if you won't chuck him out for you, do it for your DC. Right now they are being exposed to abuse and being taught very unhealthy relationship dynamics.

Teach them something more useful, boundaries, resilience and self respect.

One day you’ll throw him out. And thought it will be initially hard, you’ll end up regretting you didn’t do it a lot sooner

OP, this is classic abuse and the alcohol is making it worse.

A rat, a cunt, a thick fuck.
Those are insults fuelled by hate.
And by that, I don't mean to infer that you are worthy of hate but that he is hateful.

There is nothing you can do about a man who behaves like that. He's already rotten and will continue to decay, while poisoning the earth around you.

It's not you, it's him. Start making plans to get him to almighty fuck.

If you can’t muster the strength to throw him out for your own well being.

Throw him out for your child’s sake! What kind of life is your child subjected to??

Sounds like you may be married to my ex husband.

RUN. It will never get better.

Next time he threatens to go…help him pack.

Change the locks, get a restraining order.

Ratbags like this don’t change. The abuse will escalate. He has absolutely zero respect or love for you.
This is not a healthy environment for your child to be around. The behaviour that he is modelling is not good for their development.
Please throw him out and change the locks. Start putting yourself first - today.
You are worthy of so much more than this.

You need to make new memories to create nostalgia. You won't be able to do this if you stop with this vile idiot. I bet he's told you that you won't cope if he goes. It's the other way round. There is some good advice on here but you need help from an outer source, people who can help you prepare yourself for change. You're in for a bumpy ride but it will be better than being as tortured as you are. You will cope, you have to. 🌹🌹🌹

Pack the wanker’s bags and throw him out

What exactly does he bring to the relationship?
Why are you allowing him to treat you like this?
Why are you happy for your child to see this?
For Gods Sake throw him out today!

Please, please,please get out of this abusive relationship. He is going to destroy you if you stay with him. You are worth so much more and deserve to be treated with respect. Something you will NEVER get from this person.

Please stop putting your child through this. Do you want your child to think an abusive man and a ground-down miserable woman is the norm for a relationship? Please chuck this piece of shit into the gutter where he belongs.

Don't think OP would care, she's given away their rainy day fund to this no mark after all, just so she can play the role of best ever girlfriend who would do anything for her man.

@zebraprintxmasdinner Have some self respect.

Tell him to leave and change the locks.

If you can't do it for yourself then do it for your child. You have a duty to protect your child and having someone live with you who is verbally abusive is NOT protecting your child.

Giving her a good verbal beating is not nice - she's being abused and he's done an extreme number on her mind and broken her into pieces. Don't berate her for 'no self respect' as if it's her fault she just treats herself like shit and is happy with shit behaviour- noone is - the fact is you can start strong but when you're in the cross hairs of abuser for years,believe me, your mind changes. Supporting someone is the best way to get them to leave.

Just saying she's got no self respect is going to make her feel even more powerless. I get it was a tough love comment and meant for the right reasons though.

Sorry to hear this op the others are right he's an abusive dickhead. Do you have family you could ask for help in getting him gone?