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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell woman about her partner's kinks?

160 replies

frogmella123 · 08/02/2025 22:33

She is a distant acquaintance, I know him better. They had a brief relationship (him on the rebound) and she is now pregnant.
So they got "together", not living together or even in the same county, but in some sort of situationship.
But I know he is into swinging and sex clubs. She doesn't know. He hasn't told her.
I know it's really not any of my business and I should probably leave it well alone. I don't really want to get involved, except I can't shake the feeling that if it were me or were happening to a close friend then i'd want to know. She is basing a relationship and that of their unborn child on lies. She thinks he's faithful and monogamous.
I don't judge him for how he wants to live his life or get his kicks, but i do judge him for leading this woman up the garden path.
AIBU to say something?

YABU = Stay out of it
YANBU = She deserves to know

OP posts:
Original poster
frogmella123 · 08/02/2025 22:44

Songbird54321 · 08/02/2025 22:41

I know someone who is a swinger and expecting a child at the moment and am curious as to whether it is the same person or there's loads of them around 😂
But in all seriousness, keep out. No-one will gain anything from you getting involved.

You're not his ex-wife are you?! 😅

OP posts:
SwanRivers · 08/02/2025 22:43

frogmella123 · 08/02/2025 22:39

I really don't. But I also don't want to see this women sideswiped when it eventually all comes out. I feel like a bit of a ghoul sitting on the sidelines.

I feel like a bit of a ghoul sitting on the sidelines.

So take your knitting elsewhere.

You don't have to be anywhere near the sidelines, these people aren't even your friends.

EggshellAttic · 08/02/2025 22:42

frogmella123 · 08/02/2025 22:37

He told me that he has not been honest with her.

Why on earth are you talking to a random man about whether he’s fessed up about swinging to his pregnant situation ship?

ItGhoul · 08/02/2025 22:42

She’s only a ‘distant acquaintance’? So how do you know whether she’s aware of her partner’s swinging or not? You don’t really have any idea of the nature of her relationship with this man behind closed doors. You describe it yourself as a ‘situationship’ so that doesn’t sound like anything serious to me.

Even if you do, this is still none of your business. Keep your beak out. It’s not your place to make an issue of this.

Songbird54321 · 08/02/2025 22:41

I know someone who is a swinger and expecting a child at the moment and am curious as to whether it is the same person or there's loads of them around 😂
But in all seriousness, keep out. No-one will gain anything from you getting involved.

Original poster
frogmella123 · 08/02/2025 22:39

I really don't. But I also don't want to see this women sideswiped when it eventually all comes out. I feel like a bit of a ghoul sitting on the sidelines.

OP posts:
SwanRivers · 08/02/2025 22:37

I know it's really not any of my business and I should probably leave it well alone. I don't really want to get involved

My arse, do you not want to get involved 🙄

You hardly know the woman, keep your beak out.

Original poster
frogmella123 · 08/02/2025 22:37

He told me that he has not been honest with her.

OP posts:
Endofyear · 08/02/2025 22:36

If she's a distant acquaintance, how do you know she doesn't know? I would stay well out of it, it's not your business.

ChappRo · 08/02/2025 22:34

How on earth do you know that she doesn't know?

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