To tell woman about her partner's kinks?

"I am guessing they are not really commited to each other anyway and there is a good chance she knows about his sexual activity in terms of swinging or that they are in an open relationship so would already have an awareness that he has had sex with others."

Surely if that is the case there's no harm and no hard feelings if OP spoke to the woman. However, if she does not know and she is made aware - OP will be doing her a huge favour.

The worst case scenario is not being believed, but that's still worth taking the chance, whichever way you look at it.

I'm getting so much bitterness and self preservation (selfishness) from the 'it's not your business' women. Sad.

If the problem is he’s a cheat - then state that.

She did.

In her first post.

She is basing a relationship and that of their unborn child on lies. She thinks he's faithful and monogamous.

This 💯. It’s not your business so, obviously, stay well out of it, 🙄

I did.

If the problem is he’s a cheat - then state that. He is cheating and she has a right to know.

His “kinks” are completely irrelevant. The issue would be cheating.

(Although given this is a “situationship”, i.e two single people, and she is a distant acquaintance I would likely mind my business).

Read what the op wrote.

Read what I wrote again.

Having sex with someone else is cheating, if this woman thinks she’s in a monogamous relationship.

Having sex with other women increases the risk of him having an STI, which could endanger this woman and her baby.

Quite!

Of course you should tell her.

Do it for sisterhood and fuck all the people who say it's jealousy. They just reveal their own motivations anyway. Plus who would want this pitiful excuse of a man.

What does him being a swinger have to do with them being in a monogamous relationship?

Maybe I am reading it differently but I did not read that he is a cheat. Somebody can be into swinging and sex clubs but not be a cheat.

If he is being unfaithful then of course she has a right to know.

If it’s just that he is into sex clubs and swinging but OP has no idea what the rules of this relationship are then she should mind her business.

I am with @StrawberryDream24 and I would absolutely want to know if I was in that position!

My prediction is that he'll lie and slander you to her op, but you'll have done what you can.

I usually agree with your posts but WTAF.

A pregnant woman thinks she's in a monogamous relationship with a man who's actually a swinger and who won't be honest with her about that

They're presumably having unprotected sex, since she got pregnant.

A pregnant woman and an unborn child are at risk of STDs and the pregnant woman is

• having informed consent for sex taken from her

• her agency in her relationship & life taken from her

• she's in line for trauma when she finds out a relationship she thought was monogamous and got pregnant within is not .....

And there's nothing to tell????

No, the op should most definitely not mind her own business. She should tell her if she feels up to it.

Skanky balls swinger & liar (who should have gotten a vasectomy) will no doubt fall out with her ...... Big loss

I just said I wouldn't want to know FFS

There is nothing to tell. You need to mind your own business.

If I were the other woman, I'd want to know.

If he is still swinging/cheating on her and she doesn't know, I think she has a right to know. If nothing else, an STD in pregnancy might be dangerous to the baby as well. I don't think you're being ghoulish.

I'd tell her.

I guess in her 40’s she will be high risk last chance of pregnancy so will want the baby no matter what. She needs to know as she might be planning a cosy family life with him in her head. I’d drop a few hints, she may know already

What are you on about? Your ex's peccadillos have nothing to do with the potential risk of this woman's baby being at risk of being affected by an STD.

Yet another unfounded accusation of jealousy here as well.

You’re not going to come across as the super honest girls girl that you think you are.

Would i tell my ex husband new gf he likes stocking and dress up and wont have sex without them as doesn't feel your making much effort otherwise usually around 1 year in this shit comes out. Err no i don't bloody care i don't talk to him dont want to and we have been split 3 years and not talked once aside from mediation. I'd rather him be happy and let me focus on my own life. I think you still like him or are jealous. Let it go

Jealousy gets suggested in the most bizarre situations on here. Someone appears not to like you? They’re just jealous. You’re a SAHM? They’re just jealous. Someone doesn’t befriend you in the playground? They’re just jealous. Unemployed? They’re jealous of your free time. You’ve got a serious illness? They’re just jealous of all the attention you’re getting.

I think my reluctance to intervene in this situation would be in part because it doesn’t sound as if this woman is continuing her pregnancy with the idea that they’re a couple who are going to raise the baby together. The pregnancy was presumably accidental, they don’t live together, or even close to one another geographically.

I find it strange too how quickly some folk jump to 'jealousy' as an explanation to almost anything. Cheating partner of an oblivious pregnant woman (as far as known), partaking in swinging? What is there to be jealous of? Many moral questions re whether to disclose but why jealousy?

I agree. And it says more about the people who don’t understand than it does about OP.

Another of MN finest here, with the accusations of being jealous, malicious and wanting to stir the pot or cause drama. Instead they could just be genuinely concerned about the lives of the woman and unborn baby.