To tell woman about her partner's kinks?

Quote:

Maybe I am reading it differently but I did not read that he is a cheat.

If he is being unfaithful then of course she has a right to know.“

Quote: I did not read that he is a cheat.

Quote: “If he is being unfaithful then of course she has a right to know.“

Point being, if she isn't aware, she probably hasn't set any rules or boundaries. That isn't how swinging or relationships work surely?

She's said the swinging is active and the pregnant partner (whatever the exact status) is unaware.

I'm not being rude but haven't you read any of the OP's posts? It's not about him enjoying swinging in principle. It's about the fact he's having recreational sex without her knowledge. Doesn't matter that it's part of a group.

Aren't all of the 'none of your business people' the hand wringers when something appalling happens? 'But why didn't someone DO something?' brigade.

🙄 handmaid alert.

Gosh, people are hard of reading.

He has told OP-
the woman isn't aware he swings.
the woman thinks she’s in a monogamous relationship having got accidentally pregnant.

Her consent is based on that.

In fact she’s exposing herself and her baby to every other partner he goes with.

If I found out he was risking mine and my baby’s health like that, and no one bothered to tell me, I’d be gutted.

How do you know she isn't into that herself? Why do you think you know him better than the person he chose to have a child with?
They're not even together anymore as far as I can gather so surely there's little need to get involved? Unless you have actually attended sex clubs and swinging sessions with him, how can you be so certain about what he may or may not get up to there, or anywhere else?
So no. Don't say anything. You'll look foolish.

@FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly maybe read what the OP has written?

That's not Safeguarding. That's making a judgemental decision about a situation

Try going to social services "hello, yes my friend is a swinger and he got someone pregnant who he's now in a 'situationship' with. I don't know her, she might know, she isn't living with him and lives some distance away and I don't know if they're sleeping together"

A you don't know she doesn't know
B) he probably doesn't give a shit as she's not as judgmental as you
C) none of your business

You're safeguarding a pregnant woman whose foetus is at risk and who thinks is in a monogomous relationship

I know what Safeguarding is about

Your partner being a swinger isn't a Safeguarding concern.

safeguarding isn't only about children.

It’s also about domestic abuse, vulnerable adults and unborn babies.

Totally agree. I cannot understand the misogynistic stfu tone earlier in this thread.

Yes, you could argue it’s none of her business but morally I don’t know how you live with it. Illumination is the only true pure thing when people are up to no good. And being a sleazy lying skank to the person who is birthing your child is just wrong.

If he is into swinging, then he is cheating. Having sex with someone else is cheating.

I would tell her

Yes, Safeguarding is
But being a swinger isn't a Safeguarding concern unless they're taking the children to watch...

Problem is safeguarding isn’t just a word you bandy about on the internet. It’s completely irrelevant to this situation. So who do you actually raise this with a safeguarding concern and what do you think they are going to do about it?

Also safeguarding is EVERYONE's job

Well they are in a "situationship" not a relationship so I think it was indeed an accident

I certainly assumed it was accidental from the way the OP described the chain of events.

I loathe the 'not your circus' BS. Men get away with the worst shit because of it.

In this situation, a woman & unborn child are being deceived & it being kept from her serves ONLY to protect the man. He's the ONLY one to benefit from the secrecy, carrying on with his sex-clubs & swinging while a woman grows a whole damn human inside her then risks her life getting the thing out having no idea.

She might not care! But she's a right to know & decide from there.

I'm so fucking done with women covering up repugnant male behaviour.

"I am guessing they are not really commited to each other anyway and there is a good chance she knows about his sexual activity in terms of swinging or that they are in an open relationship so would already have an awareness that he has had sex with others."

The woman is pregnant, unless it was by accident that surely indicates some level of commitment.