Is your life a bit boring, like mine?

Imgoingbacktothestart77 · 2025-02-08T21:49:46+00:00

Mid 40’s, with a 6 year old Dc. I live abroad, so life should be more interesting really…lots of beaches, sun, places to go, things to do. I work part time and have some nice friends and a Dh i’ve been with for years. When I was younger, I was pretty wild from a young age and had lots of fun..90’s style…clubs, drinking, smoking, drugs and so on, they were incredible times. I then got into my career and worked hard, travelled to a great many places then settled in one place abroad. We had Dd a little later and I stayed home with her and was v happy and fulfilled. Now, I just feel this sense of ‘Meh’ and ‘What now?’ drifting in. Everything feels very samey, I feel like we’ve visited everywhere near us and things and places I used to feel excited to go to, now I just feel like I can’t really be bothered. The most exciting thing is cooking a roast or something nice at the weekend, I used to enjoy this and the small things..now it just all seems so dull. How do you make your lives more interesting? Does anyone feel like me?

RaraRachael · 09/02/2025 13:39

I've been retired for 2 years and was really looking forward to joining some clubs and meeting some new friends. But arthritis struck as soon as I left work and I can't walk long distances. Unfortunately all the clubs in our area are either walking or fitness related.
What I'd love is a female friend to go away for the day with or a weekend away but all mine are glued to their husbands and will only go away with them.
OH is still working so I'm at home during the day with no transport.
My life is a bit shit and I can't seem to sort it.

I2amonlyhereforTheBeer · 09/02/2025 13:31

Imgoingbacktothestart77 · 08/02/2025 22:22

I don’t find those things interesting now and barely even drink these days…but life held such excitement back then

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It sounds like you enjoyed the recklessness of your younger days, so why not take up a challenging hobby that comes with some risk and might scare the shit out of you: paragliding, scuba diving, jumping out a plane, mountaineering? Get high on adrenalin.

User37482 · 09/02/2025 13:25

Similar to you, I’ve started hyper focusing on the lack of passion in my life. It is very very boring.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 09/02/2025 13:23

I always have to have something great planned or I get like this!

im anxious about when my daughter starts school next year as we still travel a lot with the kids off peak
We go away as often as we can - I’ve spent almost my entire maternity leave abroad in various places and just pull older kid out of nursery! I find cheap flights and ways to do everything! I can be super super frugal so we can somehow save up to afford the trips.
we even got rid of the car to save money.

whenever there’s a flash sale on Eurostar I just book it and off we go on whatever random date was available

if I spot cheap flights or any sort of sale I book it and we figure out the rest of the plans after
we always go to a music festival (one with kids and one without)

plan when daughters in school is to get a camper van so we can still get away somehow

how old is your child? What would make you happy? Could you work more to make more money to afford things you want to do ?

EggshellAttic · 09/02/2025 13:21

Knulp · 09/02/2025 11:37

I think you are describing the moment you finally realise that the list of things that are going to give you that magical wow moment, have finally shortened to almost nothing. I would say it is a phase in life not everyone reaches, I still meet people in their 50's to whom a new car, a birthday, a holiday, christmas, valentines day etc etc, all make them magically excited. I often wonder if its just habit for them, and they are too scared to admit it, or if they are honestly that animated by what appears to me to be something that ceased to have any meaning many years ago.

Is having a full life hobbies, a job, children, friends, parties? I think such a life would make me want to die inside very quickly. Like you, I lived a pretty wild life right through to my late 40's, after which everything became meh. For me, now, life is made up of challenges, how do I affect the people closest to me? what can I do to help them? How can I be the best of myself, both physically and mentally, how can I be more understanding, empathetic, patient. Instead of looking for pleasure and happiness each day, I look for work and life challenges, I find myself taking each interaction and experience as a lesson or a test, did I pass, did I fail, did I say the right thing or do the right thing, what actually is the right thing, over and above what current society dictates, what is universally right, what is universally wrong...

I know that I will more than likely never find that excitement and happiness that I had in my 20s/30s, and in a sense it is quite liberating not to be chasing constant happiness, and be content with just living each day as it comes, and learning a bit more about the world, about myself, about the people around me. I am not happy, but I am not unhappy, I am content however.

I don't think its for everyone though...

That is one of the most spectacularly joyless things I’ve read on here. Life as a series of tests, minor and major.

CoolPlayer · 09/02/2025 13:20

I think sometimes a boring life is a blessing, some people would love to have you’re (what you consider) boring life (of course you can still feel bored at times but it helps me to remember this and makes me realise how blessed I am) x

Ilovelowry · 09/02/2025 13:15

Knulp · 09/02/2025 11:37

I think you are describing the moment you finally realise that the list of things that are going to give you that magical wow moment, have finally shortened to almost nothing. I would say it is a phase in life not everyone reaches, I still meet people in their 50's to whom a new car, a birthday, a holiday, christmas, valentines day etc etc, all make them magically excited. I often wonder if its just habit for them, and they are too scared to admit it, or if they are honestly that animated by what appears to me to be something that ceased to have any meaning many years ago.

Is having a full life hobbies, a job, children, friends, parties? I think such a life would make me want to die inside very quickly. Like you, I lived a pretty wild life right through to my late 40's, after which everything became meh. For me, now, life is made up of challenges, how do I affect the people closest to me? what can I do to help them? How can I be the best of myself, both physically and mentally, how can I be more understanding, empathetic, patient. Instead of looking for pleasure and happiness each day, I look for work and life challenges, I find myself taking each interaction and experience as a lesson or a test, did I pass, did I fail, did I say the right thing or do the right thing, what actually is the right thing, over and above what current society dictates, what is universally right, what is universally wrong...

I know that I will more than likely never find that excitement and happiness that I had in my 20s/30s, and in a sense it is quite liberating not to be chasing constant happiness, and be content with just living each day as it comes, and learning a bit more about the world, about myself, about the people around me. I am not happy, but I am not unhappy, I am content however.

I don't think its for everyone though...

Crikey. Honestly that doesn't sound particularly healthy. I strive for work, I work constantly in the house and garden and at my job. But to make each interaction into a test must be mentally exhausting.

CorEckIsLike · 09/02/2025 12:53

soccermum10 · 09/02/2025 10:43

Thanks to this thread I have found an evening art class. It starts in June so have enrolled 🙂

👏🏼👏🏼 that's great

UncertainWife · 09/02/2025 12:25

I was feeling this way, then a health condition worsened and now I need an operation and long for my previous state - being bored and unfulfilled!

In an ideal world you'd be able to feel grateful for your health and stop focusing on feeling meh, but I know that human minds don't work that way.

DuesToTheDirt · 09/02/2025 12:18

Did you have a passion where you were young, that could be rekindled? Maybe playing an instrument, or a team sport, or writing stories? Something that got lost along the way but would make you feel more like the old you?

Orangeandgold · 09/02/2025 12:10

I had mine young. So I probably only did the fun clubbing and drinking stuff as a free person for about 3 years. When I had my daughter I was lucky enough to juggle motherhood, career climbing, and I got involved in a few local hobby related groups - then I started my own group - when meet up was big.

Now a decade later I’m part of this community which is a part time business and that keeps me busy - plus I’m lucky to have a partner that supports it. It means that every month there is something to keep ontop of, and because it’s my own thing, my dd has been a part of it.

Finding a community that’s child friendly so you can experience it on your own and on the random occasions you need to bring your daughter with you. Finding others in the same situation and making the decision to do something local together - a friend of mine started a mum group and even if we are visiting the same places, we love that we can just meet up.

Also, your dd is 6 - I found that was a nice age where they had interests and we could explore them together - things like painting, or replicating a stuff they do at school.

mountainlow · 09/02/2025 11:55

But then I think, would going back to a grey, less stunning place make things any better

I think the point is, you no longer appreciate it when you've got it every day. Living in the UK, I really appreciate and enjoy a sunny day because they're not that frequent. Even though the seasons aren't as defined as they once were, I love different things about the seasons...

In winter I like to go walking and find a really cosy pub with a real fire, and I enjoy winter food like casseroles and soups.
In spring it's lovely to see the flowers starting to poke through, the lambs being born, the first hint of occasional warm sunny days.
Summer I appreciate the evenings in beer gardens, lighter nights for evening walks, washing drying quickly on the line.
Autumn - I mainly love the colours, different smells in the air.

I think people who live somewhere it's pretty much always sunny don't get these pleasures.

mountainlow · 09/02/2025 11:47

Bellyblueboy · 08/02/2025 22:36

I am the opposite! I hated the clubbing years - felt like every bloody Friday and Saturday night was the same. Maybe different club, maybe slightly different mix of people but just generally a bunch of boring, shallow arseholes getting drunk and obsessing about themselves. Dreadful!

I am much better at being middle aged - traveling, able to meet people from different generations with different perspectives. Every weekend doesn’t have to follow the same old pattern. If I want to go to a pub I can, but can also find people who want to go to dinner, or on a city break weekend, or I go out solo, or stay in and read or watch a film.

amywb you are looking at your youth through rose tinted glasses? Or maybe it’s because it was a short period of your life? It would have eventually got boring!

Haha this resonated with me 😂

I used to go out on the weekends with my mates and pretend probably badly that I was having fun but I was bored shitless.

I'm having much more fun going on nice walks and having a piece of cake in middle age 😁

HipMax · 09/02/2025 11:45

Knulp · 09/02/2025 11:37

I think you are describing the moment you finally realise that the list of things that are going to give you that magical wow moment, have finally shortened to almost nothing. I would say it is a phase in life not everyone reaches, I still meet people in their 50's to whom a new car, a birthday, a holiday, christmas, valentines day etc etc, all make them magically excited. I often wonder if its just habit for them, and they are too scared to admit it, or if they are honestly that animated by what appears to me to be something that ceased to have any meaning many years ago.

Is having a full life hobbies, a job, children, friends, parties? I think such a life would make me want to die inside very quickly. Like you, I lived a pretty wild life right through to my late 40's, after which everything became meh. For me, now, life is made up of challenges, how do I affect the people closest to me? what can I do to help them? How can I be the best of myself, both physically and mentally, how can I be more understanding, empathetic, patient. Instead of looking for pleasure and happiness each day, I look for work and life challenges, I find myself taking each interaction and experience as a lesson or a test, did I pass, did I fail, did I say the right thing or do the right thing, what actually is the right thing, over and above what current society dictates, what is universally right, what is universally wrong...

I know that I will more than likely never find that excitement and happiness that I had in my 20s/30s, and in a sense it is quite liberating not to be chasing constant happiness, and be content with just living each day as it comes, and learning a bit more about the world, about myself, about the people around me. I am not happy, but I am not unhappy, I am content however.

I don't think its for everyone though...

I'm not sure whether this post is more patronising or more depressing.

I do know it's complete bollox though

Knulp · 09/02/2025 11:37

I think you are describing the moment you finally realise that the list of things that are going to give you that magical wow moment, have finally shortened to almost nothing. I would say it is a phase in life not everyone reaches, I still meet people in their 50's to whom a new car, a birthday, a holiday, christmas, valentines day etc etc, all make them magically excited. I often wonder if its just habit for them, and they are too scared to admit it, or if they are honestly that animated by what appears to me to be something that ceased to have any meaning many years ago.

Is having a full life hobbies, a job, children, friends, parties? I think such a life would make me want to die inside very quickly. Like you, I lived a pretty wild life right through to my late 40's, after which everything became meh. For me, now, life is made up of challenges, how do I affect the people closest to me? what can I do to help them? How can I be the best of myself, both physically and mentally, how can I be more understanding, empathetic, patient. Instead of looking for pleasure and happiness each day, I look for work and life challenges, I find myself taking each interaction and experience as a lesson or a test, did I pass, did I fail, did I say the right thing or do the right thing, what actually is the right thing, over and above what current society dictates, what is universally right, what is universally wrong...

I know that I will more than likely never find that excitement and happiness that I had in my 20s/30s, and in a sense it is quite liberating not to be chasing constant happiness, and be content with just living each day as it comes, and learning a bit more about the world, about myself, about the people around me. I am not happy, but I am not unhappy, I am content however.

I don't think its for everyone though...

lovingmememe · 09/02/2025 11:35

Gogogo12345 · 09/02/2025 10:18

I think my 40s were the best time actually. Kids grown freedom to go out and about and travel etc but also appreciated it more than many people who do in in their 20s

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Tbh i agree i have more confidence now than i did when i was in my 20s i care less what others think and i enjoy life more and do more now.
Im one of them that will throw a dart at a map and pick up my passport and go.

Lesina · 09/02/2025 11:25

I made a very conscious decision to open my life up. I was stuck in such a rut. I started to try things, now I’m training to become a ski instructor & have started scuba diving. Also joined a kayaking club. Just decided what I ‘wanted to be’ and went for it. It’s physically & mentally challenging, so with that and work I never get bored. Just go and do something. Anything. One life, live it.

HipMax · 09/02/2025 11:05

No not at all. I have a very full life. Full time job, several children, hobbies, friends, travel. I can hardly keep up with myself!

Shiningout · 09/02/2025 11:02

Yep it's boring asf.

I'm sure there are some small things I could do to improve life but single parent to a 5 year old daughter, Co parent with the ex so can't move away to a new place, have to stay close. Work full time so no time for hobbies, and I'm knackered All the time. No family nearby and friends are either child free or have family time at weekends. Struggle financially so can't even get a dopamine hit from spending online 😂😭

I'm hoping when my daughter is older it'll mean I can have more of a social life and do things for myself but at the moment and since having children I do feel it's all been a bit of a slog as horrible as it is to admit.

I try and read in the evenings though, it's good escapism from life.

soccermum10 · 09/02/2025 10:43

Thanks to this thread I have found an evening art class. It starts in June so have enrolled 🙂

No33 · 09/02/2025 10:42

I don't feel that.

I'm a single mum. My kids are teen/pre teens.
I work full time in a demanding job, but I enjoy it. I study a masters that I absolutely love!

I spend time with people who I adore and vise versa. We travel, go to gigs, theatre.

You need to fill your life with things you enjoy! Finding is half the fun, you need to go and try things out!

pearbottomjeans · 09/02/2025 10:38

Gogogo12345 · 09/02/2025 10:18

I think my 40s were the best time actually. Kids grown freedom to go out and about and travel etc but also appreciated it more than many people who do in in their 20s

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So excited for this! Although when I’m 40 my youngest will only be 8 (oldest will be 15). But bring it on!

Also a couple of my friends have been through the menopause and say once you’re through it, life is soooo good and you just DGAF!

Cloud44 · 09/02/2025 10:37

Following for inspiration to see what others are doing to get out of feeling stuck in a rut!

CreationNat1on · 09/02/2025 10:35

Sounds like the menopause to me, it will pass.

I enjoy podcasts, rugby, cheap sun holidays. I can see how beautiful, sunny places can get a bit lame, same ding dong every day. Same everywhere tbh.

I m single, I get a kick out of dating and flirting.

Gogogo12345 · 09/02/2025 10:18

StarDolphins · 08/02/2025 23:36

I agree op. I had the most amazing 20’s & 30’s, it was so exciting & fun & I never wanted children. I had my Dad when I was 42. I love her like nothing before but honestly, life is a lot more boring now. It’s nothing to do with DD. I just realise I’ve possibly got more years behind me than in front of me.

I’m not interested in clubs/hobbies etc. I wfh now & I think I miss office banter, I just really need fun in my life! My DD is my most fave person to spend time with but it’s not the same as fun adults. Yes, I could join running club but what would be the point? I don’t like running!

I do think mid 40’s marks the time of these sorts of feelings. Are there any friends from the past that you could reconnect with? Even just lunches out/weekends away help I think. But I get you, I feel the same!

I think my 40s were the best time actually. Kids grown freedom to go out and about and travel etc but also appreciated it more than many people who do in in their 20s