DH always sleeping

Thinker00 · 2025-02-08T21:34:36+00:00

AIBU that my DH is always snoozing. I just find him so boring now as come 8.30pm every night he’s falling asleep. I may as well be on my own. I wouldn’t mind but he gets a full nights sleep too.

JimHalpertsWife · 10/02/2025 13:20

I'd just start going out. Foster your own evening entertainment. Meet a friend, go to the cinema, go for walks, join a pub quiz team or a class.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 10/02/2025 13:19

My exh was like this. It was annoying because we had very small children at the time who needed looking after!

Original poster

Thinker00 · 10/02/2025 13:17

iamnotalemon · 10/02/2025 11:47

I am your DH and have a medical condition for needing the sleep.

I would not be staying up just to keep someone company that can't be on their own.

But at least you know about it. This is my whole point if you’ve read all my comments 🙄

OP posts:

iamnotalemon · 10/02/2025 11:47

I am your DH and have a medical condition for needing the sleep.

I would not be staying up just to keep someone company that can't be on their own.

lovingmememe · 10/02/2025 11:27

I love a nap and will do when i can.

HJ1989 · 10/02/2025 10:59

My DH does a lot of day naps. We have a nearly 4 yo and a 3 month old, (who sleeps throughout the night by the way). He works 12 hour shifts in care, along with completing a degree to retrain to be a Nurse, so I can appreciate why he gets tired.

Doesn't help when you're left looking after both of the kids whilst on maternity leave and you'd like your partner to be there to help on days when he's off and both of you are at home, but he keeps disappearing for naps, when you're tired too.

Maybe your DH needs to charge his sleeping habits, have more lighting in the house, (that keeps he awake,) or even soak to his GP?

Weenurse · 10/02/2025 10:57

I would be brutal and ask, if he refuses to see GP, if his life insurance is up to date and what are his funeral wishes.
If he is planning on dying young, then you need enough funds to help pay bills, raise children etc.
He will probably bluster about you not caring, but why should you if he doesn’t care enough to see a doctor?

lovelydayIhave · 10/02/2025 10:46

Boredlass · 10/02/2025 06:24

I’m up early for work so that’s when I go to bed

This.
What time he gets up in the morning?

Thirteenblackcat · 10/02/2025 10:45

Thinker00 · 10/02/2025 09:48

I don’t really want to say too much about him in case he is on here. But I’ve taken his work hours and age etc into account.

Ive mentioned all the above to him before, sleep apnea, diabetes, iron deficiency etc but he still won’t go to GP, just shrugs it off and says it’s normal to sleep that much and I’m different because I don’t need all that sleep.

Thanks for all the replies, think I’ll just continue to bang my head against a brick wall with him as he is extremely stubborn and just hope that I don’t get so fed up with it and walk away one day.

I was all ready to say YABU for not having more empathy but having read all your posts I see he’s not doing anything to help himself, so YANBU.

this must be very frustrating for you.

Is there anyone who he would listen to? He sounds like he is just dismissive of your opinions and thoughts so if you can get someone to speak to him who would make him see what an unreasonable person he’s being maybe he would see sense.

stayathomer · 10/02/2025 10:39

What time is he up at in the morning though? Dh doesn’t get why I’m falling asleep most nights at 9 if I sit down but I’m up at 6.30/7 and it’s non stop then til the evening

Twaddlepip · 10/02/2025 10:36

Thinker00 · 10/02/2025 09:48

I don’t really want to say too much about him in case he is on here. But I’ve taken his work hours and age etc into account.

Ive mentioned all the above to him before, sleep apnea, diabetes, iron deficiency etc but he still won’t go to GP, just shrugs it off and says it’s normal to sleep that much and I’m different because I don’t need all that sleep.

Thanks for all the replies, think I’ll just continue to bang my head against a brick wall with him as he is extremely stubborn and just hope that I don’t get so fed up with it and walk away one day.

Is that likely? Why would he be here? To check up on you?

What is his job? How old is he? Is he very overweight? He needs a doctor or a blood test.

Original poster

Thinker00 · 10/02/2025 09:48

I don’t really want to say too much about him in case he is on here. But I’ve taken his work hours and age etc into account.

Ive mentioned all the above to him before, sleep apnea, diabetes, iron deficiency etc but he still won’t go to GP, just shrugs it off and says it’s normal to sleep that much and I’m different because I don’t need all that sleep.

Thanks for all the replies, think I’ll just continue to bang my head against a brick wall with him as he is extremely stubborn and just hope that I don’t get so fed up with it and walk away one day.

OP posts:

Charel2 · 10/02/2025 09:07

My DH did this for years and it turned out he had diabetes. His doctor told him he could have gone into a diabetic coma his sugar levels were so high. Drag him to the GP!

lemongrizzly · 10/02/2025 08:48

LostMyLanyard · 10/02/2025 06:37

Team DH here I'm bloody knackered by 8.30 and often give up and go to bed by 9! I have a very stressful job though...and am up at 5.30 and in work by 7.00.

I don't get home until around 6.45pm and still have and often still have work to do!

I'm 60...this dogged tiredness has affected me in the last couple of years, so possibly age and the stresses of my job are catching up with me. I'm a Deputy Head of a school 😬

Is your DHs job stressful? How old is he?

Tiredness and actually falling asleep a lot are not the same thing.

Bluebellwood129 · 10/02/2025 08:25

Tell him to get his testosterone level checked

Seaside1234 · 10/02/2025 08:23

Excessive tiredness was my husband's main symptom of diabetes. He definitely needs to go to the GP, but you can't make him, he'll have to choose when he's ready to do that. Does he fall asleep during the day? Have difficulty getting up in the morning?

lemongrizzly · 10/02/2025 07:47

Not normal and if he drives he could end up killing someone. I think you need to insist he goes to the doctor.

Tallerandtall · 10/02/2025 07:08

@Thinker00

i bet he needs vitamin D

SunLift · 10/02/2025 07:00

Do you think he could be depressed? Some people hide it well, but it can show through sleeping a lot. It could be why he’s reluctant to go to the doctor, because some people don’t like talking about their mental health.

discdiscsnap · 10/02/2025 06:57

What do you do on an evening? Watching tv on settee is very relaxing but if he's tired I could see why he snoozes. Do you have hobbies? Play games? Do you see friends/family? Is he same at a weekend?

LostMyLanyard · 10/02/2025 06:37

Team DH here I'm bloody knackered by 8.30 and often give up and go to bed by 9! I have a very stressful job though...and am up at 5.30 and in work by 7.00.

I don't get home until around 6.45pm and still have and often still have work to do!

I'm 60...this dogged tiredness has affected me in the last couple of years, so possibly age and the stresses of my job are catching up with me. I'm a Deputy Head of a school 😬

Is your DHs job stressful? How old is he?

Cappuccinowithonesugarplease · 10/02/2025 06:27

I'm the same as your husband so I voted YABU 🤣

Boredlass · 10/02/2025 06:24

I’m up early for work so that’s when I go to bed

justineblack · 10/02/2025 06:24

My partner is like this, though it’s better over summer when the evenings are lighter. I’ve been reading up about it and in my partner’s case I believe he has ‘Advanced Phase Sleep Disorder’. This is where basically is body clock is set to fall asleep much earlier than the societal norm.

He gets a full nights sleep though wakes up early (like 4:30am) which isn’t a massive problem for him but it impacts on the relationship over winter as he’s barely awake in the evening and I’m basically on my own.

He’s going to try light therapy - might be worth seeing if your DH would consider trying it? The purpose being to push his sleep pattern back.

vivainsomnia · 09/02/2025 07:51

How old is he and how hard does he work? Sleep apnea is very likely.