To think working is impossible as a single parent

I have been a single parent for years. Have 3 kids, no family within 250 miles and an ex who worked overseas and always worked. I used wrap around care until they went to secondary. Not easy, but very do-able. My career is a big part of my identity, so can’t imagine not working.

I’m a nurse, I don’t work full time but have a disabled son so I get dla for him and uc and also have 3 other children.
it isn’t easy but it is possible especially when at school, there isn’t really an alternative to working how else to the bills get paid. My son only goes to school part time, it’s been such a struggle don’t get me wrong but I love my job too, I wouldn’t know what to do if I didn’t work.

I think it looks very hard certainly. I work full time in a very demanding job and if anything happened to DH I can't imagine how it would work.

I am guessing you might be a carer because otherwise they would want you working?

It’s not impossible - I’m a single mum of two, both have complex needs with no informal childcare/support outside of the kids dad. I work full time, I have a very flexible employer and work from home most of the time. I also was well established in my career before kids and have very sought after skills in my profession. If any of those variables were different it would be much more difficult.

Of course it's not impossible. I managed and during the toddler years when I paid for full time childcare. Didn't get any maintenance payments either, so I was completely alone.

I'm a single parent to 3 kids and I have a full time job. It's hard, but I see it as investing in my future. I'm making pension contributions, progressing my career. I get UC top ups now, but I won't always get that when the kids are older, and I don't want to be in a position where I'm suddenly no longer eligible for UC and not able to financially support myself because I haven't worked for years. I want to get out of the benefits trap ASAP to be honest.

I am lucky that I have a flexible and understanding employer though, which makes things easier to manage.

What an awful comment. The poster is clearly trying to get in a position where she can earn if her child's needs reduce. You clearly have no idea about disability. Maybe one day you will experience a severe disability yourself and look back on your judgemental attitude with regret.

It is possible but it is hard both for you and your kids. You can’t do all the things you’d like for them, and have to make choices that are far from ideal. I work full time and my two summer borns in reception and year 3 and constantly exhausted. My littlest often cries on the walk home from after school club as he is so tired. It’s eating too much beige food, reading books when they are tired and ratty and attempting to catch up on washing etc at 9/10pm. It isn’t what I’d hoped for them with walking home at 3pm, playing, homework and cooking as they relaxed.

But it is do-able and I hope it gets easier. And they get some privileges I couldn’t afford otherwise etc And I know I can provide for them and will have skills for work as they get older

You won't be worse off on UC. What makes you think you would be? UC tops up wages so people are always financially better off in work. Also, how are you getting away with claiming UC if you work? You would need to evidence you are looking for work to claim it?

Of course it's possible, I returned to work 23 hours a week when dc was 5 months and full time when dc was 9 months, I worked full time and did 2 post grad qualifications to gain promotions, off course it was challenging but the long term benefits were great, no financial support or childcare from dc dad, the reliance on benefits is something I don't understand unless the parent or child has disabilities

@Gettingbyslowly

🥱🥱 I've got my whole life to work, babe. I'll happily be at home with my severely physically disabled child for now. You crying about 'lucrative disability benefits' isn't going to make the government lower them - maybe you should just be thankful you haven't had to make the decision to have your child's limbs amputated.

You worked in a school before surely that's ideal with a school age child? If low income you'd still get UC top up and a percentage of any childcare back eg after school club. Your child is 8 and doesn't seem to have any additional needs. You need to work.

My mum was a single parent from when dsis and I were 2 & 4. She worked 9-4 mon-Fri. We were in nursery all day and back then you started school at 5yrs old and finished at 16. She struggled and I remember her spending all weekend washing and doing housework until we were old enough to help. We were latch key kids. Loads of us were. We had tea at 6pm bed at 8pm.

Disability benefits are a joke and very lucrative?? Try having SEN kids it's no fucking picnic

I managed to work full time as a single parent back when there was virtually no child care so I’m pretty sure it’s possible now.

If you're not working then why have UC not sanctioned you?

Ha, I work in IT but it's not that unusual. There are plenty of companies hiring for remote/hybrid/flexible roles but I guess it depends on your skillset and seniority. I am incredibly grateful, it makes my life so much less stress. If kids are ill, I can just have them at home.

It isn't impossible.

You either want to provide for your child or you don't.

The benefits system has allowed poor parents to get away with shirking their responsibilities to their child. Disability benefits are a joke and very lucrative.

Its not impossible at all. It's hard work and difficult. Childcare swallows up a lot of your wages but that won't be forever. It probably helps to have a job that is sufficent in supporting you before having the child, but isn't there to top up the shortfall?

With your child being 8, there's absolutely no reason why you shouldn't be working in some capacity. The linger you're out of work, the harder it will be to get back into something.

What is your job please? And where do I apply?