To think working is impossible as a single parent

Thats actually quite ridiculous if true..£36,000 for doing nothing. Kinda boils my piss as we can't claim any UC even with a SEN child.

Who are you caring for nearly full time? If you get a job who’s going to do the caring? It doesn’t sound like your child, presumably in school during the week, is the reason you don’t think you can work. Your title and updates aren’t consistent.

You’re caring for who? I think I’ve read all your posts but can’t see that you have mentioned disabilities anywhere? I’m a single parent to 3 kids and manage to work part time with UC top ups. If I didn’t hit a certain earnings threshold they would be all over me, so what you originally posted makes no sense. If your DC or a family member is disabled then yes, of course it will be difficult to work alongside 35+ hours of caring responsibilities, however that essentially is work which is why you receive extra UC?

Single parents around us work. They make it work and provide for their children. And it should be that way. I think goverment should do much more to get single parents into the work force.

I work full time as a single mother. DS's father hasn't been in contact for nearly a year so I haven't had a break in 11 months. I've always worked full time, except when I was a full time student for 4 years, but also working 3 part time jobs at a time to help pay the bills. What else was I supposed to do?!

I'm a single parent and have been working full time since my DC was about 9 months old. I could not afford not to work, and could not take several years long career break as it would mean never being able to work in my profession again (I train almost 10 years for it!). It was hard at first and almost all of my money went on paying rent and childcare. I also missed my DC a lot ((. Its getting better now and hopefully will be back to "normal" soon now my DC is in secondary nad is becoming more independent.

I think the main thing is organising good childcare, and finding an understanding employer who would be fine with you being late occasionally or having time off for whatever reason. Working from home would be your best option, probably.

If you have other caring responsibilities that might be a big part of it, not just being a single parent?

Does your dc’s dad do anything at all?

I have been a single parent since my two were 2 and 7, and I’ve always worked full time. I used to be self employed in a wildly demanding industry but had to give that up and just be normal full-time.

Exh is involved so not a lone parent but I do the bulk of it, and pretty much all the mental load.

Ive just hit a glorious point where my youngest is in year 6 and can walk home alone as long as its either a working from home day for me (I’m hybrid) or my eldest (year 11/ age 16) is in, and it’s amazing. Just like a whole new lease of life.

Childcare wise before that - I used an after school nanny for a whole, which was a disaster, then a childminder who was brilliant until she retired. Most recently had been using an off-site after school club, but then was sometimes taking a late lunch on my wfh days to go and collect DS and pick up work with him at home (once he was old enough for that to be fine), but it’s obviously all pricey.

As a Lp of a teen with additional needs . I worked as a child minder when he was younger . Now able to work although not full time . I work for great employers who work my hours around appointments and his needs .

you will need childcare like many other people .. harder yes impossible no .

How do you work out that you’d be worse off? UC only take a percentage off your entitlement per pound earned above a certain amount, plus 80% of childcare costs paid. It definitely pays more to work, even on nmw

OP, it's not impossible, but I didn't find it easy at times! I'm a single parent with 2 DC. I work FT as a nurse. When the DC were younger, it was bloody hard: childcare hours didn't correspond with my shift start/finish times, and I was juggling a now XH who was a bloody nightmare. Luckily though, when XH pissed off, I managed to negotiate FT hours, that DID correspond with childcare hours: I was allowed to work those hours from when XH pissed off (I don't get any help from him), to when my youngest started secondary school. However...my kids are NT, have good health and have no disabilities to speak of. They go to mainstream schools, and were able to attend childcare settings without issue. My DPs both died when the kids were younger so I didn't really have anyone to help out regularly (friends with kids and myself would buddy up and help each other, as would my DB and I). I know for fact that as a single parent, I've had it a LOT easier than many!!

I'm (very) lucky because I've had a good education and qualifications. I've worked for the same place for many many years, so was a known entity there with a proven work track record. Therefore they were very understanding when the shit hit the fan with XH, and they allowed the variation in work times etc - hens teeth in my line of work, but that made a huge difference (so always worth asking about flexible work patterns). On the flip side, my employers have a staff member who is now able to be flexible, and will never forget just how much kindness and support was shown to me during some very bleak times in my life. I now am able to pay that forward with doing whatever I can to help the ward. I was also the breadwinner before XH left, so no worries about me having to do any "return to practice" type things, as I kept my registration etc current. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for single parents with kids who do have disabilities and cannot attend mainstream settings....or those trying to find work after so long out of paid employment...or those without suitable qualifications. I do feel guilt that I couldn't stay at home with my DC when they were little, and I feel guilt that my DC were/are like latchkey kids...and - like other single parents - I play a lot of catch up with housework/family time etc when I'm not working!! But I have to work, and so needs must.

Are you able to update your qualifications and experience in the meantime? Start researching what courses might be available or if volunteering is possible? Perhaps for the future look at a school or child care setting where you can use your previous work experience (although I appreciate that might not be possible with your carer commitments). Or maybe PT WFH/remote working (I don't know how common these jobs are!)? Or PT in a local hospital or care setting? I think UC can top up if you don't earn enough.

Im about to become a single parent and work full time. Cant see anything changing. Our school has breakfast club & after school /late stay to 530pm.

what advice id give you is, skill up, do courses etc or get experience volunteering in the meantime of not working. The day will come soon that those benefits will be taken away so always be prepared and ready

Disability benefits are a joke and very lucrative

Jesus wept. Try being a lone parent with a disabled child without a suitable school place. Come back in 5 years and let us know how you're getting on, eh?

No, OP. It's not impossible. I did it with 3, one with a disability and all on my own. Full time plus a part time and a seasonal side hustle.

i think it depends on lots of factors. I split with my ex when my kids were 21 months and 4 and carried on working 30
hours a week but I had support from my Mum and my ex was / is reliable and my job was flexible. It was still hard work at times and I had to be really organised. I often worked on an evening when the kids were in bed.

Child tax credits were better for working single mums.

I don't blame you tbh, with child care bills and child sickness dramas whilst trying to hold down a job. Try do something part time which UC can top up for your own sanity and self worth.

I’m ignoring most of the responses you’ve had.

It seems to me that you need to find some work you can do from home. Some kind of admin? Remote tutoring?

@Okwhatn0w it's okay haha I should have known what was to come really 🫣 but it's important for people to see different circumstances - it's a shame that people don't understand how difficult it can be! Even if my son wasn't disabled, we live in a tiny area, there's no wrap around care at his school and child minders are like gold dust - I don't know how some do it!

I'm a single parent and work part time. It's possible.

I'm a lone parent with a child same age and I work 40 hours.
It's hard but can't sit around all day -need to earn a living and improve your earnings prospects and skills

Get some admin qualifications and wfh maybe x

Agreed. It's not your fault. I also appreciate if you have to pay carers so your benefits are really 36k minus carer pay. Apologies- not a slight on you.

@cherish123 my son is severely disabled and gets the highest rates of DLA and I get carers allowance. I'd much rather my son have all 4 limbs and be working 30+ hours a week👍🏼

I simply claim what we are entitled to as most people would in my position if they were unable to work due to being a single mother to a severely disabled child. Complain to the government, not me.

That's a ridiculous amount of money to get for not working! No wonder you don't want to get a job! Thus makes me cross. Plenty of people slave their guts out for less and work 30+ hours per week!

I work for a housing association. It's a hybrid role so a mixture of WFH, office and doing visits. I'm lucky that I can make it work around my kids, I can't imagine I'd cope for long if I had to commute to the office 5 days a week.

I’m a solo parent (6 yrs old) and work. My job is full time but I squeeze as much as I can into school hours and then catch up when needed once he is in bed or at the weekend. Luckily my work measures output and is not counting hours, plus I have been there 13 years so I have built up enough trust to have complete flexibility over my hours. I also volunteer every Friday (and have been for 8 years, I was working part time when I started and when they offered me a full time job, that offer came with Fridays off if I wanted to keep volunteering).
I completely get that I am very fortunate to have such flexibility and I am very grateful, but I have also worked hard to earn that right and respect.
It is absolutely possible to work as a single parent, but you need to find something that works for you. Good luck! 💕