To give consequences to daughter for waking the baby

Why are you putting the baby to bed in your room though, if you are then coming downstairs and leaving them? This is what I did with my babies in the nineties, but I thought the advice these days was for babies not to be left to sleep in a room on their own under 6 months.

What do you think the reason is?

It's not that, we just think that maybe there's more going in here than just a child being naughty.

Maybe it's a child desperate for parents to acknowledge the fact she feels pushed out and her life is completely different and her parents are prioritising this baby that is the cause of the disruption.

I think i might change the baby's routine. They don't know the clock so you can do what you like to suit your own family.
It sounds like these must be the times when your dh is at work still, otherwise presumably he would be reading to or whatever your elder 2.
So - can you do your elder 2s bedtime first?

A 7 year old doesn't need constant supervision at home

Who are you people whose 7 year old can't be left to quietly amuse themselves for 15 minutes? And why are you raising children who can't exercise a minimal amount of restraint and consideration for others? It's nothing to be proud of.

It might be nothing to do with a sense of rejection though. They might just be impatient. Mine certainly is. No new baby here.

Or.... Address the actual reason instead of essentially punishing a small child for expressing their sense of rejection from their parents or their resentment of how their lives have been turned upside down....

Honestly, no wonder adults are repressed, angry and depressed.

Does no one else think it’s actually ok for a child not to be the main character for five minutes?

Ridiculous analogy.

this therapy session mindset and limp wristed parenting the uk seems obsessed with is 90% of the problem in our current 20something workforce.

It's not unreasonable to expect a 7 year old to not do a particular thing and to occupy themselves for 20 minutes! I'm not surprised there are so many children who can't follow the most basic behavioural rules when expectations are so ridiculously low.
If you need to put the baby down to nap, and you've explicitly told her not to come into the bedroom, then she should be capable of following that rule. I presume you give her enough attention and love during the rest of the day and she can manage without you for 20 minutes. Kids want our attention all the time, it doesn't mean they will get it all the time, that's impossible.
I wouldn't go straight to punishments, I'd try rewards first. If that doesn't work, I'd do something like reduce screen time.

🙄

Harsh.

And all you have taught him is his sister is more important than he is a d he's not allowed to tell you he's upset.

Great parenting - punishing a child for wanting attention off their parent!

So are both her parents in the bedroom when shes told to go away?

I'll go against the grain and say yes, I think you should give her some consequences - there's a rule (don't disturb the baby when she's settling to sleep unless there is a danger) and she's breaking it.
I'd sit her down and tell her that we, the grown ups and older more interesting children, need to collaborate to help the baby to sleep so he can grow and become clever and interesting like she is, and so that we can have a bit of time to ourselves. If she comes in again remind her and do whatever your usual consequence is (I'd go stern look until I get an apology but YMMV - my kids are timid)
Then when you do get baby to sleep go hang out with her and make sure you link it to the baby being asleep 'oh I love baby, but it's much nicer when we can play more complicated games together/ watch more interesting tv, just us isn't it? Thanks for helping by being quiet.'

Everybody rewards children for normal behaviour... By praise "good boy", thanks... "thank you for tidying up" ... We innately/instinctively reward via positive reinforcement/attention from the main caregiver.

Put a large sign that she can't possibly miss on the door.

Unless she is suddenly screeching at the top of her voice, she should be able to talk normally while the baby is asleep.

Try to think constructively (I know it’s hard when you’re so tired):

Before you take the baby up, talk to her about what she'll be doing during that time. Emphasise that the sooner he is fast asleep, the sooner you’ll be able to spend a little time with her, then do it, even if it’s only a two-minute cuddle and chat. Maybe get her (and other DD) a special notepad where they can draw a special picture for you, or something like that, while you’re settling the baby, to show you when you come out.

Try to make her feel she’s on your side with caring for the baby. Let her choose what he’s going to wear, ask her to help you bathe him. Talk to her about how tired you are because that pesky baby keeps waking you up at night.

If you have a partner, where is he during all this?

Just stop.

FGS rewarding a child for normal behaviour!
No wonder we have a nation of entitled adults!
Ridiculous
She's 7 !

No way! They will grow up not getting on.

Youre frustrated but she’s the wrong target.

They may well love and adore their sibling but still be disrupted over having to share mum and dad’s time. It doesn’t mean they are resentful of the sibling. Small children aren’t very good at expressing their emotions yet. A change in routine can be difficult for some children. It takes time.

No need to implement consequences if you address the reason for the interrupting.

It's like saying "oh there's a leak in the kitchen radiator pipe" and just keep on mopping the floor each time and getting more exasperated when it keeps in happening, instead of fixing the leak...

You're comparing how a teen might feel about a new baby with how a 7 year old might feel?!