To give consequences to daughter for waking the baby

She sounds jealous and put out and she will be with now 2 younger siblings.
At 7 she is old enough to understand not to wake the baby but as a child herself, her own feelings about being excluded will be much stronger than her reasoning abilities.
Give her some responsibility, include her and make her feel like she is helping. To banish her from a room where her parents and new baby are won’t help her deal with this.

Having said that if the baby is napping in the lounge then I don’t think you’re being very fair on the other kids.

This is a natural consequences situation, surely.

“You’ve woken the baby up so now I can’t play x with you”

I have a seven year old who never takes no for an answer and can’t wait 30 seconds for anything (and she gets plenty of attention) so I sympathise.

Your 7 year old is feeling rejected or insecure. Punishing her won’t solve that. I also don’t understand why it takes 2 of you. Just one parent would be the way forward and love bomb your dd. Catch her doing brilliant stuff, not stuff related to being a big sister all the time. Stuff for who she is. Just her being her.

People are assuming it based on the fact that the OP says "we"

We settle baby
We come downstairs

The advice is that they have all sleeps near you til 6mo, not alone in a room.

Everyone assuming there are 2 parents around. Do none of your partners work?!? I have 2 kids and regularly have to settle the baby for a nap/bedtime while my partner is working, so not available to parent the older child (she’s 5, so fine with being left alone for a bit). Also once they’re past the newborn phase most babies do need quiet to sleep and it’s not ‘pushing the other child out’ to ask them to respect this.

I’d do the opposite OP, and start rewarding the other one. ‘If you can leave me alone until the baby is settled, you can have X.’ The 7 year old will soon realise her 5 year old is getting rewarded and she isn’t. Unless there are additional needs, it’s absolutely fair to expect a 7 year old to leave you alone while you do this. Unless there’s an emergency of course!

Wow - 2 adults and baby in one room and 7 year old on other side of the door not allowed to come in?!

Sounds like she's feeling very left out. Instead of considering 'consequences' try and make her feel more included.

I think that's kinda sad. At 7, our kids were still coming into bed with us at the weekends for cuddles and chats, if she's coming into your room she has some kind of need, whether it's her stated one or not.

Kids are all different, she's feeling the disruption of a new baby more than her sibling - don't compare them

Creeping around and making other kids feel left out is daft.

Also - Is he not meant to be napping near people at that age?

Are both parents putting him down for a nap together?

Why doesn't he nap in his own room?

It sounds like your DD is missing out and needing attention. Do you spend 1-2-1 time with her on a regular basis?

Baby shouldn't be sleeping in a different room to you anyway at 4m old, if you follow the advice from NHS and lullaby trust?

Stick baby in a sling to nap and give your 7yo the attention they're craving.

Also wondering this, two of you in the bedroom and sending her away on her own and you wonder why she’s doing things for your attention?

It might be better if your baby got used to more noise around when sleeping.
You, and especially your 7yr old shouldn’t have to be tip toeing around or whispering.

Try settling with a radio on low, then gradually increase it. I do t meant crashing about and yelling is fine, but normal life and conversation is perfectly acceptable.

I know it’s hard, when you just want them to stay asleep, but your 7yr old matters too.

Why are two of you putting the baby down?

I’d say she is desperate for your attention then. Can’t she come into your room and sit and read or play quietly while baby goes down? I have three dc all in 5 years and DH worked nights: evenings so I was often alone so not having the older ones in my own when the younger one was going down to sleep just wasn’t an option and of course the house wasn’t quiet because they were too young.

Get her to help with bed time. Like she can be the one to out him in the sleep suit, read a story etc

I have 3 dc and youngest dc soon learnt to nap admist the chaos. She would fall asleep on her play mat, Bouncy chair etc. This baby has come in to the other dc life, a 7yo shouldn't have to make to many allowances for that.

I agree with this. If you have a DH then one of you settles the baby and one stays with the older two DC.

If you need both parents with the baby, then keep the door open and put some white noise on. Less risk of anyone loudly bursting in and the baby will fall asleep with background noise and therefore be less likely to wake up.

How often doe it happen? Is it a regular/daily thing? Are her requests trivial/something that could've waited or sensible ones?

Does it actually take two of you to settle the baby or is there another parent available?

It's because she's feeling left out because of the baby.
One of adults needs to be with baby, the other with the 5 and 7 year old.

You have essentially told a 7 year old that this baby is more important than she is....

Nice....

She is telling you loud and clear that she is feeling pushed out and needs more attention. Try and work with her, not against her.

Is a parent getting up when 7 year old is up? Sounds to me like she wants some attention? Is it in the mornings and she is coming in?

Surely during nap times another parent is with her?

What things is she asking for?