To hate Friday evenings

I think you need to look at making this as easy as possible for yourself. Make Friday dinner something you know DS loves. Doesn’t matter if it’s not the healthiest or is a repeat of lunch. It can be a Friday treat.

Get DS involved in tidying up his mess - slinging toys in a basket shouldn’t take long.

And if you can I would get them out to the park after tea and then into bed, don’t worry about the bath.

And make sure there’s wine in the fridge for when they’re finally in bed!

A non-random teen to pick ds up from school and bring back and occupy him for a couple of hours would be ideal if you can find one.

Pour yourself a glass of wine as soon as you get home - you'll care a lot less about all of this then.

If it's just Fridays and the situation is changing in September anyway I'd just try and take a big breath and basically think "F it, we've just gotta do whatever works until September" - I mean from mid July D's will be off school anyway so actually it'll change in some way from then now I think about it.

Agree with others, skip bath time and either do a picky tea or quickly heat up leftovers or bang a pizza in the oven. Have a Friday film evening or something. Make the most of the ones where DH does finish at 4.30 and accept muddling through when he has to work till gone 6.

Definitely let go of the mess stress too. It's Friday, they'll be getting stuff out all weekend anyway, just bung it in kallax boxes after tea. Get Ds to help then all have a chocolate biscuit 🤣

I know it sounds ridiculous but how about a babysitter? Just for a couple of hours to supervise DC while husband working. Only till September so not for ever.

I think you’re making a fuss about nothing tbh. House is messy when you walk in- so what? Ignore until kids are in bed. Daughter is clingy after nursery- usual deal with as normal. Have to cook tea - just get in with it. I feel for your husband trying to work with a child around. Why not be more proactive prep a healthy snack box for when he’s home. Prep some activities the boy can do by himself. Give him a reward if you behave whilst daddy works we will get a takeaway. There you go solves a few issues that. Alternatively find alternative childcare for your son.

Just try and he more organised. Like a PP said have a healthy picky tea available got him straight away and that's fixes most of your problems. You could always have a meal ready In the fridge so that DH could pop it In the microwave or just healthy snacks ready. Make it a fun afternoon for him - a movie etc

Random suggestion... are there any teens nearby who would like to earn a small amount as a "mothers help" type thing... basically picking him up from school and playing with him at home? Only would work if the Secondary/primary timings match up (but our Secondary finishes 45mins before the next door Primary)

Can you skip bath time?

What time do you get in? Isn’t DH finished by then so you can divide and conquer? One does the cleaning and tidying whilst the other sticks tea on?

Can Fridays be fish and chip dinner/oven dinner/leftovers/beans on toast night to make it easier?

When times are overwhelming, you need to find ways to cut corners a little. When they’re little parenting is relentless so sometimes it’s about survival!

Ok, you need to find the thing that's annoying you most. If it's the state of the house then talk to DS about playing in his room or just watching the TV til you get home. Or talk to DH about him tidying the mess while you do tea. Have a cut off point where both things need to be done, say 7pm tea needs to have been eaten and the house needs to be returned to a tidy state.

Would he care if he had a lunchbox style meal twice in one day OP? I don't think my one would realise if it was sandwiches twice in one day

I think you need to lower your standards a bit tbh.

He makes a mess while playing, so what? Most kids do. Just tidy up later when he's in bed.

Does he have to have a bath? If you make sure he is bathed Thursday evening surely you can skip Friday?

Quick easy tea, as long as he diet is generally healthy and balanced the rest of the week then having a freezer tea on a Friday isn't the end of the world.

Just try and make things easier for yourself by avoiding unnecessary stress. It'll make the evening easier for everyone.

What time does dh log off? What time do you and dd walk through the door?

Does the nursery dd is at not run an after school element too? Our primary often has staff from the local private nurseries come to do sibling pick ups and take them back to the nurseries for the rest of the day.

I agree that a once a week pizza night with cucumber, veggies etc is not a disaster and could be turned into a fun family tradition. Also, so what if he has sandwiches at lunch? If doing similar for tea means everyone has a nice calm evening, surely that's a win? I do think you sound a little upright about the toys etc. He's playing!

Any friends in a similar situation? Have a childcare swap... you have a friends kid one of the other days, then they have your DS on a Friday.

Friday’s were always easy dinner when mine were little.

To be honest if all that's happening is there is a mess from him playing then I think this is one of those situations you just need to accept isn't great but everyone is doing their best.

He's safe, fed, occupied and dad is still able to get his work done. Yes it's not ideal but he's 4, he's had a busy week at school and so what if he makes a bit of mess.

Change your expectations of dinner that night and bath him on Saturday morning. Don’t made it hard for yourself be flexible in your routine

And maybe do a frozen pizza dinner or something? We had pizza omelette (essentially a omelette cut into pizza slices with their chosen topping ham, cheese etc for a super quick meal when home in a stressful day.

it’s not great to work and look after a 4 year old so I think you need to set yourselves up as a family to manage it as best you can