To hate Friday evenings

organise dinner - so it's either picky, sandwich type or something that can be heated up quickly. Toys - organise them so only a few large toys (easy to chuck back in a box) are available for Fridays. Think about dropping bath and earlier bedtime for everyone.

Sounds like everyone is burnt out and the change in routine has been the last straw.

It's not carnage, OP. You're tired and getting wound up about normal family life and mess.

And it's nothing that can't be sorted in a few minutes. Maybe move some of his toys out if he's got too many.

But for the love of god - chill!

Well duh!
I meant when he had finished working

Exactly this. My DH works from home as call centre support and he cannot leave the desk unless it's a "break" - which are monitored, as are times between calls and response times between web chats etc. Even when it's quiet, he still needs to be at the desk. Because that is his job. He can't be spending time picking up toys or making dinner when he's working and being monitored. That kind of stuff is exactly why some employers are pushing for more people to be in the office more.

I'm also willing to bet if op came on saying she was WFH and the dad was stressed about having the kids or whatever she would not be getting replies saying "can't you do more to help him" - as she shouldn't, but it works both ways!

No bath on Friday night!!!

Why is everyone in a horrible mood?

I do get it, I’m the same with mess and would find it particularly tough on Friday nights which is when I want to relax and enjoy my home. What time does DH finish? Can he do bed and bath to give you a chance to clear up and reset?

The solution is so simple!

Small Tupperware box of snacks - some healthy and some shit.

DS plays with stuff. You walk in the door with DD and everyone chucks the toys in the box.

Kids get changed into pyjamas, bung a supermarket pizza in the oven. Have a wine/beer.

Everyone in front of the telly - no bathtime.

Friday nights should be fun - you're making a drama of this, OP.

What a lovely neighbour ❤️ . (And so sorry for your loss x)

Reframe your thinking!

It’s not Hell Friday until September: it’s 15/16 school Fridays until the summer. (I just counted going by our half terms and holidays.) Make a countdown chart if it helps. We’ve all got hell days for various reasons (mine are Thursdays) but not all of them have an end point. DS is home and safe and free childcare, even if it’s not ideal. That’s the main thing.

Old: feeling like I have to rush to get DD because DS is effectively on his own
New: easy pickup of DD because you’re just picking up one not two. For DS, isn’t he lucky to have special film Friday: a film and a floor picnic to himself, no mummy or sister allowed. Maybe he can have lights off, curtains closed, Disney+ and popcorn – would he stay still and make less mess for that?

Old: the house being an absolute tip when I walk through it and I know, I know - my issue but still.
New: all the toys are out for DD straight away, no need to think up a game! Or the game IS “let’s all tidy up!”

Old: DS being stroppy and difficult
New: …OK, nothing to be done about this one during witching hour – but kids will pick up on your mood and you can get in a feedback loop of grumpiness. I know this whole post is a bit Pollyanna but my hell days do go better when I act like a manic pixie dream mummy than when I’m just done in with the lot of them.

Old: DS’s dinner (and I know it can make something easy and often is but I still have to make it and he still has to eat it)
New: lots of good advice above. Can he help make something, like pizza? Activity and food in one! Or as above, just let him have a floor picnic while watching a film. Friday is fish finger and chips day in our house, easy, quick, not terribly unhealthy as they mainline peas and fruit salad for pudding

DD being whiny and demanding
DH droning on in the background!
^ can’t help you here but if food is prepped (can’t DH put something in a slow cooker in his lunch break? Or if DS has had a floor picnic, now it’s DD’s turn) you can plonk DD in front of it. Where is DH working that his droning is audible?

only 15/16 Fridays to go!

I think the issue is less that it’s a stressful evening and more that you used to get an hour to yourself and now that’s gone. With two kids of those ages I totally get why that’s been so upsetting.

Can you carve that out anywhere else? Can you put DS and DD into childcare on a different afternoon? Or make a deal with DH that he takes the kids out for two hours on a Saturday morning so you can tidy up the mess from Friday and then have a coffee in peace? (Or even better, you go out for an hour for a coffee while he tidies up with DS!)

When I was a single mum (after DH died so I was solo parenting 24/7!) my lovely neighbour used to do bedtime for me one night a week so I had two glorious hours entirely to myself. Honestly, for a long time I live solely for those two hours!

Exactly. Most Friday evenings with kids this age are stressful because everyone is understandably exhausted by the end of the week.

You've been given lots of great advice but it sounds a little like you just wanted to moan which is fine but people were genuinely trying to be helpful.

I've thing I always told myself during any stage is that it's always temporary. The next thing will be along soon and your Friday chill nights will be back (mine are now spent in the pub relaxing but years ago I was like you)
Lower expectations for a little while and see how it goes. My worst night was Mondays so my girls shared an Asda ready meal those nights, it was ok to do that

Not if he is working.

I'd like to know what he does around the house after he logs off but OP didn't answer that.

Just here to sympathise - I feel you! You'll sort it

This seems like something can easily be fixed. I make my kids tidy the toys when they're done, they're 4 and 5. And having a sandwich picky dinner once a week isn't going to do him any harm. You're over thinking

Can DS come with you to nursery pick up? Make an occasion of it- come to pick up and we’ll stop for a cookie on the way home? Gets him out of the house for a bit and then by the time they’re both back it can be tv while you cook. And make Fridays pizza night. Most things with kids can be improved by making everyday things seem like a treat!

Place a big fleece blanket on the floor for DC to play on and when you get sick of the mess just throw the toys in the middle, gather it up and shove it in a corner or out of sight.

Easy dinner like baked potato with tuna and sweetcorn.

Bath DCs when you get home rather than later when everybody is tired and grumpy.

No it can be solved by your DH pulling his finger out and tidying up
All the " drop your standards " crap gets right on my nerves
I would go ballistic if I walked in to that

So what time do you finish work???

Timings please!!!

It's not that - it's just that for most people, this is every evening. Kids, mess, meals, bathtimes. It's just part of everyday life for working parents tbh (or at least for everyone I know).