To hate Friday evenings

OP - why not try reframing your thinking.

You and DH are lucky enough to be in employment, have a roof over your heads and two healthy children.

Enough money that they have a surfeit of toys, snacks and you have clean, hot running water to bathe them in.

You will tuck them up and kiss them goodnight and they will sleep safely during the night - no need to worry about them being bombed or trafficked.

So what if a 4 year old has to occupy themselves for a bit one afternoon. So what if the living room is a mess?

It's not like you're living under a scrap of canvas in a refugee camp with no education for your kids and having to cook your meagre rations over a fire, is it?

She says thet live in the middle of nowhere with no neighbours.

Simple. Friday night is frozen pizza night. Pop it into the oven then 'time' your DS to quickly tidy up the toy area whilst it's cooking.

Job done.

I don't know why everyone is grumpy, though?

Could you arrange a "mother's help" type set up? Pay someone to collect from school and then be at home with your DC for a couple of hours? Your Friday childcare has fallen through and you haven't replaced it, that's the problem here.

Fridays is a hard day for childcare and always has been. I had more arrangements for a Friday than any other day! My kids would do drama, football, basically any club that meant the collection was later!

On the food side, I would take the advice here and do a simple pasta/pesto type dinner, frozen pizza or a defrosted meal cooked on another day. No-one needs a big fancy meal on a Friday.

I wouldn’t worry about the short term chaos given it will change.

There have been lots of other suggestions! I really think you should look at some babysitting options. College students, there is also a retired lady in my village who does post nursery for a family sometimes - she put up an ad in the local cafe, my cleaner has just started doing 7- 9 with a local child as parents have to be a on a specific train on one day a week and there is no breakfast club that day of the week. You can post an ad on childcare.com. A couple of years ago I needed a half day on a Monday as nursery couldn’t give me the slot yet and I totally expected to get no responses and I got loads. You seem a bit defeated right now, understandable as you are probably frazzled. But paying for some extra hands for a couple hours would probably be a god send.

I think it’s absolutely fine for a 4 year old to watch TV for a couple of hours after school once a week (mine done it every day 🙈)
Tidying up toys is annoying but surely a normal part of daily life.

All the people suggesting OP sees if she can organise a play date for Fridays - would you want another child on a Friday after school???

Are you going to look at the suggestions posters have made for childcare options?

you say he "usually" works from home on Fridays - what happens when he doesn't?

Leave the mess until DH has finished working. Then he can look after them while you tidy (or the opposite, but personally I find tidying in peace nicer than doing dinner/bath/bedtime).

Friday nights were always the fun night for us as a family when the kids were little. No baths, movie night and a takeaway after a busy week. Does sound like you are making it difficult with your expectations.

Try koru kids. Typically, college or Uni students who will collect your DC from school and then play, supervise homework or prepare snacks for them in your home.
Won't be cheap, but is the price of not coming home to a tip and DC having gone wild for lack of supervision.

I think you're perfectly entitled to have a moan, OP! It sounds stressful for all of you.

I think other posters' suggestions of making up a healthy - or at least healthier - snack picnic are a great idea. Then tea/supper for him is done and dusted.

Also think great to ask around re a college student or someone not working in your area to come in and play with DS/tidy up a bit. I suppose your trouble will be that it's a Friday and they may have the occasional trip/weekend away but at least your stressful Fridays will be reduced. Good luck with it all. It will get better!

The bottom line is surely that DH can’t look after the 4 yo because he is WORKING. His responsibility is to his employer.

So he and the OP need to find a solution as to who is going to look after this little boy. Various suggestions have been made, it would be good if the OP took a look at them.

Until your work changes I would just let DS have a Friday movie afternoon. Kids are tired on a Friday. I would get DH to give him a snack and let him watch a movie until you are home or DH finishes work. Make it a little treat that he gets each week. That way he won’t make any mess. Only works if he will sit still and watch a movie of course but my 4yr old would.

Can't your DH finish at 4:30 on Fridays and work later on the other days until July at least when the schools break up? I'd have thought the helplines will finish slightly earlier on Fridays anyway?

There's lots of things that might work - like others have said, high value activity set up, teenager to keep him company, fun dinner to look forward to but really I think you need to pretend your DH is working at the office (so totally unavailable) and what would you do then and implement that really

I'm sorry but you need childcare, or DH to finish earlier.

Can you hire a teenager to babysit/entertain Friday afternoons?

Might be worth the outlay.

Mine are in their 20s now but I remember the sheer hell of these days. DH and I tag teamed for ages as the DC played us off against each other - so one would leave the house/go upstairs out of site and the other would deal with the DC. Reverse arrangement the following night. Any chores just had to wait.

Is it at all possible that you could pick up DD, collect DS then go out for tea? Maybe soft play then a pizza? Or swimming? Make Fridays a treat day to look forward to? Or is everyone just too tired and cranky?

Second the suggestion to limit the toys available to DS to limit the mess he can make.

Otherwise try to focus on it only being for a few more months!