Sex with a married person

Why not leave? He might not be interested in sex but you'll be lying to him, using joint assets to fund the affair, taking your emotional focus elsewhere. I've cheated and been cheated on. Seen it from all sides. Just find a way to end it and then you can enjoy all the benefits of freedom to pursue whoever you like. If you ARE determined to cheat, please at least do it with someone single.

I'm in a sexless relationship but kind of flirting with a colleague, it's hard because I do find myself thinking I'd love it. Don't know what to do.

No, I would focus on getting myself in a financial position so that I could leave and be free to make other choices.

Yes. But I didn’t know he was married. And had 4 children. I was young and naive. Otherwise, no. I was so shocked. It was just sex. And not very good sex.

The OP hasn't clarified if it's a married person cheating or a person outside the marriage cheating with the married person?

Either way it's wrong but the motivations may be different.

If a single person is cheating with a married person then that's only one scenario.

Nah. Sounds like way too much hassle.
Already got my hands full with the one I married, without getting involved with another.

It's an interesting question because people rush to say they would never ever do it but clearly given the number of people who have affairs lots would. I think lots of people can say never but life and relationships are complex and messy and when they find themselves in a situation they might well not be so sanctimonious about marriage as they thought.

Edit to add I've had a number of good friends who have needed up in affairs with married men. Not the type of people I'd ever expect to do so either. I don't really judge them too hard because the situations were incredibly complex.

Infidelity is never the right option.

It's very easy to say absolutely not because it's very easy to absolutely not cheat on someone. Cheating is ALWAYS a choice. No matter how many excuses are found and yes they are excuses. For one, you're putting someone else's health at risk! Work on the issues instead of being selfish.

As I always say: Cheating is for cowards & c*s.

This. What is their situation?

No, I wouldn't even consider it, no matter how bad my relationship was. If you want to have sex with someone else you leave your current relationship. There is never any excuse for cheating.

I have not been in this situation but I try not to judge anyone.

If a person is really trapped in a relationship and can’t leave, and they seek a bit of happiness with a married man, they probably know that it is not going to solve anything but do it anyway.

Its like reaching for a drink or taking drugs.

I would like to think I wouldn’t do it, but people do mad things when they are in pain.

Or if you’re married to that married person. That’s ok in my books.

No I wouldn’t want to hurt my husband like that. It would break my heart to hurt the man I love for a shag.

Think how you would feel if you got found out, your husband left you and your kids knew it was because you were shagging around.

Do you really think they are not going to be bothered?

Cheating as a way to solve marriage problems is like firebombing your house because the kitchen tap's leaking.

It creates problems where non exist and complicates those that do.

A recipe for disaster all round.

I was always turned off by anyone who was in a relationship with someone else. I just always had a physical revulsion at the idea of it. I suppose it's very different if you find out after you've started with someone. I've never knowingly been in that situation. Or cheated on anyone I was in an exclusive relationship with.

And if your husband found out about you screwing other men behind his back? Do you think that won't blow up your children's lives?

And there’s no chance of you getting caught and making the blow-up of their lives markedly worse?

Perfectly possible to be in a long-term sexless relationship and to keep it in your pants while you save your money/get your ducks in a row to leave with your integrity intact.

I can answer this as I was in a horrible marriage for years, and it never occurred to me to cheat. So no.

We had a loooooong separation though, so I ended up having sex with others while I was still married. So technically I'm an adulterer, but he'd been out of the house for two years and ten months by the time I laid a finger on another man.

A PP said that their marriage was sexless, and they were looking elsewhere, but had no intention of blowing her up three DCs' lives. In her situation, I can totally understand what she's doing. It's what the French and the aristos have been doing for years, and if you think about it, it's a very practical solution. Spouse has had no interest in sex for years, but the person who isn't dead below the waist doesn't want to destroy lives and probably still loves the spouse as a person anyway. As long as they don't get caught, everyone stays happy and gets what they want. Because strangely, most people who deny their spouses sex longterm still think that their spouse shouldn't have anyone else. 🤔

must be for a student paper given the quality of the post

What about you op? Writing an article?

Not unless I was married to them.