To think the gynae might have said something or anything during CS.

tools? instruments yes @Cricketsong

I've had emergency c-sections in 2 countries, both on national health services. In the first, the surgeons met me first, and whilst they weren't chatty with me, they did acknowledge that I was there and make sure I understood what was happening, and the anaesthetist did actually engage as we were prepping and a couple of times during (with anaesthetist humour 'that's them stapling you back up'), then after surgery they came down a bit later to check on me and their work.

In the UK, it was like I was just the next body on the production line. No-one but the nurse spoke to me - they even spoke to the nurse to ask her to reposition me for the spinal, not to me!

It was bizarre to my mind. And I was a bit shocked that no-one came down to check that it was all OK - how can surgeons improve if they don't check what they've done after?

My surgeon introduced herself before the section, I was third on the list and she said very monotone “the other two ladies have been fine and so will you” 😂 It was fine, I’d never met her before and I kind of just wanted her to get on with it. However everyone around her was lovely and friendly which made a huge difference. The anaesthetists were so friendly and kept me happy throughout, chatting and keeping a level of normality that I still look back on appreciatively. The midwifes were so kind and gentle too and took time to explain how I would be feeling and whet was going on afterwards.

I felt a bit like a formula 1 car going in for a few new tires to be fitted in the sense that it felt like a really well oiled machine. I wasn’t a high risk pregnancy so I imagined this was like filling out an excel spreadsheet for the surgeon 😂

I've ha ld 3 CS and the surgeons were friendly, chatty and made each one special.
I would feed it back to the trust - not in a complaint way, more like 'I had a great experience, however Mr X didn't look, speak or interact with me - I know they have a job to do but an introduction would have gone a long way".
The surgeon may have been having a bad day or they may not be aware that they come across as cold and distant - either way, they should have some feedback.

Some surgeons need to detach from the patient, after all he's cutting into a live human being. It's why they have those green operating cloths over any area they are cutting into even if it's a hand. They will also be planning or visualising the operation in their head and not focusing on external stimuli, like the majority of us do when faced with complicated or stressful things like driving tests, law exams, cooking for twenty at Christmas, etc.

You said others introduced themselves - did they do that in the actual operating theatre or on the ward or next to the ot?

I think it’s quite normal to be a bit obsessed with the person who delivered your baby in the immediate aftermath and overanalyse things they did and said. Postpartum hormones are insane.

Congratulations 🎉
When I had my planned section the (female) surgeon came to see me beforehand and we had a chat. Then during the actual section, once baby was out, she said the loveliest things to him. But saying that it was well documented that we had a really difficult time to having our DS and everyone was trying to be sensitive about it.

I had both experiences. Terrible, long labour with face presentation, needed epidural. Anaesthetist swanned like actual god. Didn't introduce himself, barked at me all things that could go wrong and said do you want this yes or no. I told him to f off and not to speak to anyone like that. (i was very tired and grumpy).
The midwife ran after him. He came back in after a few minutes and to his credit, apologied. He said he had just done 24 hours straight on the intensive care ward, where people couldn't talk.
Then i had a emergency c section wherei had to have a general.
I think what I'm saying it, I'm good at chatting but not good a surgery and given the option, ii would rather havev the good surgeon. It would be nice to have both though.

I was an anaesthetic nurse, so me and the anaesthetist at the 'top end' talking to mum, and keeping an eye on dad in case he felt queasy. Midwife scrubbed with obstetrician dealing with the 'bottom end' and another midwife to take the baby. Most surgeons I remember didn't really engage with mum, just concentrating on what they needed to do.

Sorry you feel upset about that, they’re all different. I expect he or she is the same with everyone but hopefully they’re respected for their surgery.
I didn’t have a CS but had to go into theatre to have placenta removed and it was an all female staff there and they were overwhelmingly lovely, it was quite strange to me!

Hi OP,
I hope you are ok, your feelings around your baby's birth are valid, and 3 or so days post partum they are going to be super raw as you hormones shift to milk production. Take care and congratulations on motherhood Xx

To the rest of you,
You know what? I would find it upsetting if a man who had had his hand up my vagina while I was paralised from the shoulders down didn't even say hello to me too. I had to awful emcs, but at least I had a small conversation with my surgeon at the time.

Those must have been the days because that is absolutely lovely!

I didn’t have a CS with my first but did have a traumatic birth and the first midwife (who went off shift midway) came to see us both on the ward. I think she was surprised by how wrong it went after I left (and probably wondering if she should have spotted the signs).

I thought they HAD to introduce themselves, explain what they were about to do and make sure you understand and consent,

I had a lovely surgeon - we didn’t know what baby was and he held him up and shared in the excitement saying “ahhh it’s a boy” so I could see.

Yes, that was my experience too. Really attentive and helped me not feel sick.

I think they have to concentrate, but they are supposed to go round the room and everyone say who they are if you go into theatre.

The Junior Dr who forcepsed my son out was very chatty and friendly. The consultant was nice but seemed very rushed- she kept coming in when I was pushing for ages and quietly murmuring to the Dr and then doing an examination and saying ‘hmmm. No.’ or similar.

When they yanked him out in theatre Junior Dr told me when his head was out and that I wasn’t to push. Anaesthetist took a bunch of photos on my phone because they let me have my music on and he was controlling it. Nice atmosphere when baby was out. They then found a bum tear and I started bleeding a lot, so it all got very scary and they all went quite quiet, but they still did things like tell me what was going on (‘I’M JUST SEWING UP YOUR ANAL SPHINCTER’) and gave my husband a hug when he was upset.

You might just have had an introverted gynae or he might have done a 96 hour week or something. They do like helping babies to be born or why would they specialise in it?

Did you speak to surgeon at all? Could surgeon have been quiet because you were quiet?

When a surgeon approaches a patient you have got to be mindful that they are responsible for your life and keeping you and baby safe. That’s a major concentration. Some are not very good with bedside manner but are focussing on the job. I feel better that they focus on the job first. You don’t know what’s going on for them. They might have ten to do. Sounds like they did a good job.

Mine came and said congratulations afterwards, and I thanked him for everything. They have to obviously focus on what they're doing so they don't have time to talk, it's the other staff in the room that were saying baby is out etc.

I’ve had two c sections (both elective). The only thing I remember them saying was there was going to be a tugging sensation when they pull baby out. They did introduce themselves to me beforehand though.

I had a conversation with the surgeon prior to my emergency c section about possible surgery. Once I was in the operating theatre I spent my time talking to the anaesthetist. We were taking bets on how long before my son made his big appearance!! Saw her the day after

Unfortunately, this is how some medical staff are - they go to university, study for years, gain their chosen qualification and somewhere along they way they lose the ability to speak to, communicate with or even acknowledge anyone below their own skillset. In fact some don't even speak to their own theatre support staff very much.
However, they aren't all like that - my orthopaedic surgeon is a fabulous human being who makes a point of seeing and speaking to his patients before they go under the GA. He is very skilled and reassuring and I could not have wished for a better outcome from my operation.
As some have commented, quite often when we are in surgery we are a bit distracted from pain and the circumstances.

I’ve had two sections and both of the surgeons were lovely.
I remember how they both seemed genuinely excited that I had given birth as if it was the first one they’d performed.
On both occasions, they asked my husband if he wanted to tell me the sex. Which he did.
It is a shame to hear about your experience but from what others are saying it doesn’t sound unusual x

I had conversations with the anaesthetist and midwife, who spoke to me about what was happening. I don’t even recall seeing the surgeon. That doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

This is mental how many people have experienced this and think it's normal. I've had 3 c sections, one emergency and 2 elective. Every time (even the emergency) the surgeons came to my room beforehand to have a chat, then in theatre everyone went round the room introducing themselves and explaining their role. The surgeons weren't chatty during but they lifted baby up and spoke to me about baby then spoke to me again after they finished to check I was feeling ok. During my last one I had a trainee doctor performing the surgery and a senior consultant assisting and the consultant talked to me lots. He explained when there'd be a lot of tugging and it might be uncomfortable and he discussed the state of my internal scar tissue with me and the possibility of more babies. Cs 1 & 2 they also visited me on the ward afterwards to see how I was doing. No medical checks, just having a chat and checking I didn't have any questions from the surgery

Like a pp said, we're not a piece of meat and surgery that you're awake for is very different from standard surgery under GA. No one is cutting me open in front of my eyes without giving their fucking name at least!

Surgeons have a very complex and important job to do that requires a high degree of accuracy and attention.

I can't believe you are shocked that they weren't focussing on bedside manner. Anaesthetists and other staff are there to reassure you.