To think the gynae might have said something or anything during CS.

When I had my CS for youngest DC the surgeon didn't speak to me. I didn't care. All I wanted was a healthy baby and to be sewed up well and no infections afterwards.

Yeah - surgeons prefer their patients unconscious 🤣🤣

Tbf I've had fantastic experiences with paediatric surgeons who came and spoke to us afterwards and explained exactly how the surgery had gone, and gave advice for the next 4-6 weeks. I don't see why a surgeon wouldn't take one minute to at least say "that's all gone exactly as I hoped, this amount of redness and swelling is normal, here's what you should do if you notice X, Y, Z".

Patients always send cards, always? You know this for a fact do you?

YABU. I would rather a surgeon did an excellent job, in silence, and just focussed. They are there to do a job, not be your BFF.

I had a horrible experience with my EMCS for my oldest, can't remember the surgeon saying much but she had an awful junior doctor with her who in retrospect I wish I'd made a complaint about.

DS was an ELCS and the surgeon was wonderful, he held DS above the drape like Simba from the lion king and announced his name 🤣
He also revised my scar from the previous section to make it neater and had me come back so he could remove the stitches and check the wound himself rather than the community midwife do it, then told me off for leaving the baby with DH as he wanted to see him.

Sounds like your surgeons because manners could be improved on but if baby is well and you were otherwise well looked after don't let it dampen your experience. Congratulations on your new baby.

The thing is, surgeons’ brains do not work like most people’s - most people cannot cut up another human being cheerfully. Their brains being different is what makes them good at their job.
I’m not saying there aren’t a few that can do both, but i’m willing to bet they are rarer than those that can’t.
Do you want them to be friendly, or do you want to come out alive, infection free and neatly stitched is the basic bottom line.

I've had two c sections, cat 3 so semi elective, first was a failed induction but no real emergency. The surgeon wasn't there when I went into theatre, I wasn't aware when she arrived initially as she didn't introduce herself. Obviously I then heard her asking for things from the team as you did. She then left without saying a word and I didn't see her again.

Although I didn't expect a conversation I thought she might have introduced herself but thought this must just be the norm, until I had my second. Absolutely lovely surgeon introduced himself and explained again why a c section was recommended this time, that he would cut out my keloid scar etc. He spoke to me before leaving the operating theatre and explained a few things (lots of internal scar tissue), he also saw me on the ward the next day to follow up. Two very different experiences. They are obviously doing a very important job requiring a great deal of concentration, but I do think it's reasonable to expect an introduction. I can't think of any other instance where (barring an emergency) it would be ok for a healthcare professional to not introduce themselves to a patient.

Was it a Mrs R? If so, she was great with us - she waved her scalpel towards my husband's nether regions after a complex CS and said 'No more babies!' I was a bit scared she'd find out we had another a couple of years later 😀

But it's not just a random man is it? It's a surgeon, in a hospital, with other people around, and OP knows what she's there for. He's probably busy, tired, just getting things done before moving on to something else .

I had a ventouse delivery.

First the doctor complained she'd nearly made it out of the door before hearing the beep.

Then she complained about getting blood all over the trousers that she hadn't had time to change.

Then as she was stitching up she complained that I was "very sensitive down there."

Still the baby is now at university so I guess the safe delivery is all that matters!

Id just rather they do what they're doing in whatever way that let's them focus/ concentrate/ make sure they do it right. I'm not there for the convo 🤣 and it kind of suits me not to make small talk.

That’s a bit miserable I would expect at least an introduction. I had one recently and the consultant and anaesthetist were super
lovely - anaesthetist in particular chatted away throughout. As others have said important thing is obviously safe delivery of baby (and care of you!) but would be nice for them to at least put you at ease.

I would say that perhaps they are used to only dealing with unconscious patients but that wouldn't be the case for most CS. It was rude of the surgeon and not acceptable.

I was just going to say this too!!

My brother in law is a surgeon and while he is one of the nicest, charismatic person ever and an extrovert, he has mentioned how at work people hardly perceive him as that.

Just last week he mentioned how at work he got called stubborn and stuck up by a patient but in reality he is that way because he has to detach himself completely.

He really has a lot of empathy but during work puts himself in the 'mode'.

I recall he once talked about a lady he was chatting with and operating on and the lady mentioned to him she had just become a grandmother and was excited to visit her granddaughter abroad after not visiting for years.

This really put him under immense pressure as he saw her as human with dreams, saw her life, kind smile and the thought of her family. He almost cried during the surgery

Since then he won't even make eye contact with his patients and never says hello or asks how his patients are before operating on them.

However he will personally see them afterwards, introducing himself as the surgeon who did the operation and will ask about their recovery / how they are doing.

My mum is also a nurse and has said that surgeons who can remain chatty / friendly with patients during operations are usually the less empathetic ones as they have no issues detaching, however the more empathetic surgeons cannot risk getting attached so avoid getting personal.

Not had a C-section but once had to watch hundreds of the things to collect samples (long story..) the surgeon made the same jokes every single time and the entire theatre team had to fake laugh. Tbh I think I you got off lightly with silence!

I had an emergency CS and I didn’t give a rat’s arse if staff asked me what’s my favourite colour and animal.

the only noise I was focused on is the baby crying and hearing it for the first time as that would tell me all is well.

My surgeon didn't say a thing to me either for my elective CS! I did think it was a bit weird, but the anaesthetist and nurses were taking loads to me so I guess that made up for it.

I'm an obstetric anaesthetist, so I've seen over a thousand C sections. It's very unusual for the surgeon to say nothing at all! Some are chattier than others, but pretty much everyone would greet the patient when they arrive, and say goodbye when they leave. Some prefer not to give updates during the operation, but I do that for them, keep an eye on when baby's about to arrive and update the parents etc.

Some people definitely find it easier to talk and do fine motor work at the same time - I remember when I used to play the piano I absolutely couldn't talk and play at the same time, while others could chat away. If I'm focusing on a tricky procedure, I can give brief instructions/information, but can't natter. Most CSs for me (and most surgeons) are pretty routine, so apart from a few key moments I'm happy talking away. It is tiring though, keeping up the chat and focusing on all the tasks I need to do - if I'm doing a full day section list I'm shattered by the end!

Emergency CS here. I didn’t even know they’d started the op until, rather feebly, I remember asking ‘have you started’ and was told ‘nearly at the baby’ by the anaesthetist. No talk from the two surgeons at all. It wasn’t important then, and isn’t now. They had a job to do and did it brilliantly. Never occurred to me we should talk.

This was experience too when I had my DC. I found it very weird. All the other HCPs were great but my surgeon didn’t utter a word to me.

He had spoken to me earlier in the day so I think that’s why I found it even more weird.

DH and I sat in a room next the theatre, and met everyone involved prior to starting the procedure. Everyone introduced themselves and their roles, I got to ask any questions and any preferences. Then we all got gowned up/ scrubbed up and met again in theatre. So your experience does seem a bit impersonal.

Totally unreasonable. Everybody knows a surgeon has, in addition, to her/his main function, entertain, chat, cheer up the patient and (according to many other threads) if married with kids, come home and do all the house chores as well as bedtime, so that a sahp could take some time to unwind from the stresses of being a sahp.

If working silently is what’s needed for the surgeon’s concentration l’ll take that every time. Whatever line of work you do yourself, could you fully concentrate on it while chatting ? No, of course you couldn’t, but you expect a surgeon to engage in chatter while doing their job, and because they didn’t you interpret that as being treated like a piece of meat. Ridiculous.

My surgeon spoke to me beforehand. The actual (elective due to placenta praevia) CS was lightening fast. The consultant obstetrician literally asked a junior to time him. And it took about 2 mins!
I had told the surgeon I was worried about seeing anything gory but when the moment came to lift DD out he asked for the screen to be lowered and said "watch your baby come into the world. You don't want to miss this". And he was right. The whole thing was a bit surreal and I think it helped me feel more relevant to her birth somehow.

I had a woman who did a lovely neat job

sweet nurse told me they were saving my tattoo
man who did sleepy drugs ( can’t spell anietheotist) was lovely

I liked that the surgeon had focus on the job and was polite and factual but not overly chatty it was 1 in the morning and end of a long labour for me so I wasn’t up for a magical experience as such I just wanted it over with quickly and safely

I was surprised by how long it all took