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Original poster

I just don't want to have sex tonight

165 replies

avm · 07/02/2025 21:39

EuGH my Husband is going to come and make it clear he wants sex tonight and I'm dreading it already.

I just don't want to. He'll spend ages trying to convince me to and possibly get annoyed if I don't do it.

We've been having sex once a week and I think it should be fine to say no without all the hassle ?

I'm so sick of the hassle that saying no causes.

Also he's a grumpy bastard anyway. Sometimes I do it, to see if he'll be less grumpy, but he's still grumpy.

OP posts:
JMSA · 07/02/2025 22:25

Why don't so many men get it? Sad

Oh, by get it, I mean understand. I don't mean why don't they get sex!? Shock

Like if they changed tack, and really made the effort to be a great partner, it MIGHT change the outcome in so many cases.

TheLargestToblerone · 07/02/2025 22:17

Of course it should be fine to say no to sex. Anything else is coercion. If you feel like you can't say no, and/or you dread the consequences of saying no, then you are being sexually abused.

moostermum · 07/02/2025 22:14

Oh god, this is me. The outcome and sulking of not doing it is worse 😩

Screamingabdabz · 07/02/2025 22:07

You should not have to feel pressured into sex. Marital rape is a crime. YANBU.

SoftPillow · 07/02/2025 22:07

You need to tell him ‘You are making me feel pressured. I don’t want to have sex with you tonight. I shouldn’t have to say it more than once’

You could add, if you wanted and it was true ‘I still love you, and want to be with you, but I really just don’t fancy sex this evening’

Pigeonqueen · 07/02/2025 22:04

Don’t have sex you don’t want. If that results in the end of the marriage because you’re married to an abusive arsehole then good riddance.

User56785 · 07/02/2025 22:02

No, you shouldn't be having sex when you don't want to.

It doesn't sound like you are enjoying your marriage at all.

MonickerMonica · 07/02/2025 21:58

So you "let him" have.... grumpy sex? Bloody hell. Sounds like you don't fancy or desire him much if at all. That's sad and makes me wonder why you are with him. 😕

Crushed23 · 07/02/2025 21:58

Stop having sex you don't want to have.

I had duty sex to 'keep the peace' for over a year in my last relationship and it was soul destroying. I didn't fancy him at all. It was like I was raping myself with his d*ck every week.

Better to let the marriage crumble than do that to yourself.

Quinlan · 07/02/2025 21:56

Valid8me · 07/02/2025 21:45

Why dont you want to have sex with your husband?

I mean, if you don't want to then that is your choice but why does he get grumpy if you say no?

There is just so much wrong with this post. A total lack of thought, empathy, common sense. You do see a lot of really stupid posts on mumsnet and comments which totally miss the point or just show such a lack of judgement but i’m still astounded every time I see something so stupid.

Bestwishes23 · 07/02/2025 21:52

Ask him: Do you really want me to have sex with you because I feel pressured?

You shouldn't feel coerced into this. Ever.

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 07/02/2025 21:50

Time to don the dressing gown of doom girl xx

Valid8me · 07/02/2025 21:45

Why dont you want to have sex with your husband?

I mean, if you don't want to then that is your choice but why does he get grumpy if you say no?

andthat · 07/02/2025 21:44

First post nails it.

Tell him to grow up and stop sulking…no greater turn off.

Msmoonpie · 07/02/2025 21:41

No one should be having sex they don’t want.

No one should be coerced into sex.