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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Which volunteer?

34 replies

OldClothes · 07/02/2025 19:08

I am a charity shop manager looking to appoint a new volunteer. It looks like it may come down to a choice between two young women. Girl A seems reliable and nice enough, and would be probably be ok. Girl B seems to have the gift of the gab, is a cool dresser and have a feeling would be popular with the regular customers, but in theory might be less reliable on occasion than the other.

My head says Girl A to be on the safe side, but I might choose Girl B on the basis she'd be more fun to work with. I also think Girl A will find another (maybe better) voluntary role very soon anyway, maybe quicker than Girl B.

YABU for Girl A
YANBU for Girl B

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
EmmaMaria · 08/02/2025 20:57

Time40 · 08/02/2025 20:05

@EmmaMaria I don't give a monkeys what "half of MN" thinks. Actually 90% of what Mnetters think is crap

What on earth are you doing here then, if 90% of what we think is crap?

Someone has to attempt to introduce some sanity. Goodness even Justine thinks posters are deranged!

Juiceinacup · 08/02/2025 20:15

I used to volunteer in a charity shop, if I thought I was being spoken about like this on MN by the shop manager I would have no more interest in volunteering..

pimplebum · 08/02/2025 20:13

they are 18 they are only doing it for the UCAS application and will be gone by the time exams start

you have 6 weeks to enjoy girly A or B so don’t over think it

I’d give them both a crack to be honest
just for you to see what plays out , is A reliable? is B fun with friends who want to come into a shop ?
is your gut instinct right ?

TheEllisGreyMethod · 08/02/2025 20:08

It's a volunteer role. Give them both a chance - surely it's not going to hurt you to risk occasionally having too many volunteers

Time40 · 08/02/2025 20:05

@EmmaMaria I don't give a monkeys what "half of MN" thinks. Actually 90% of what Mnetters think is crap

What on earth are you doing here then, if 90% of what we think is crap?

EmmaMaria · 07/02/2025 21:04

On the subject of whether or not to call young women "girls", I wish Mnetters would make up their minds. Half of MN seems to believe that 18-year-olds are still children, and then when what name to refer to them by comes up, suddenly they are fully adult women.

I don't give a monkeys what "half of MN" thinks. Actually 90% of what Mnetters think is crap. An 18 year old is legally an adult. End of. I have been of that opinion for decades, and have no need to further "make up my mind". Infantalising adults in order for other adults to feel better about themselves is no excuse.

Original poster
OldClothes · 07/02/2025 20:12

@Time40 To explain, I wouldn't say I know Woman B but I have seen her with her friends in the shop and around town.

OP posts:
Time40 · 07/02/2025 20:05

I think YABU to think that the cooler, more fun-looking girl/woman is likely to be more unreliable just because she looks cooler.

On the subject of whether or not to call young women "girls", I wish Mnetters would make up their minds. Half of MN seems to believe that 18-year-olds are still children, and then when what name to refer to them by comes up, suddenly they are fully adult women.

OldChairMan · 07/02/2025 20:00

...after working with lots of volunteers [my] impressions are often accurate

So why do you need a MN AIBU poll to make your recruitment decisions for you? It's very unprofessional and trivialises the role.

feathermucker · 07/02/2025 19:59

Is yours a paid role?!

feathermucker · 07/02/2025 19:59

Why, in theory, do you assume Woman B would be less reliable because she has the gift of the gab and is a cool dresser?

Maximinus · 07/02/2025 19:52

I hope this isn't real because it would be a really unprofessional way to run run recruitment, volunteers or not. You should absolutely not be choosing them based on most of what you've said. Likelihood of edgy young women attracting all her friends to come and hang out in your charity shop? C'mon OP, are you 11?

Seriously, if this is real you need proper reasons. Not Applicant 1 is less cool.

Original poster
OldClothes · 07/02/2025 19:49

It did mention that they would be talking to customers sometimes, and that we are a friendly shop.

OP posts:
EmmaMaria · 07/02/2025 19:47

OldClothes · 07/02/2025 19:39

First point, I don't know, maybe you're right. Girl A won't necessarily be boring, just not as chatty with customers (and maybe other staff). Admittedly I don't know the reliability of either but after working with lots of volunteers impressions are often accurate

Show quote history

STOP CALLING WOMEN GIRLS. It is patronising and insulting.

Again, was "chatty" on the person spec?

You should not be managing anything if this is your approach to recruitment.

Original poster
OldClothes · 07/02/2025 19:39

Snowmanscarf · 07/02/2025 19:25

Firstly, you don’t know the reliability of either person.

You sound like you want to be mates with the ‘cool girl’ and find girl A a little boring.

First point, I don't know, maybe you're right. Girl A won't necessarily be boring, just not as chatty with customers (and maybe other staff). Admittedly I don't know the reliability of either but after working with lots of volunteers impressions are often accurate

OP posts:
Original poster
OldClothes · 07/02/2025 19:34

bestbefore · 07/02/2025 19:32

Please find say no to one! Just take them both. How lovely they have volunteered!

I'd quite like to do that and if one of the regulars gives up then most probably I will.

OP posts:
Gazelda · 07/02/2025 19:34

Are either of them flexible so that they can cover for other volunteers' holiday and sickness?

bestbefore · 07/02/2025 19:32

Please find say no to one! Just take them both. How lovely they have volunteered!

Original poster
OldClothes · 07/02/2025 19:32

OhMaria2 · 07/02/2025 19:30

You will be doing her work whilst she chats.

Show quote history

On the contrary, I won't let it get out of hand and there won't be hordes coming in for ages at a time.

OP posts:
OccasionalHope · 07/02/2025 19:30

alternate shifts?

OhMaria2 · 07/02/2025 19:30

OldClothes · 07/02/2025 19:19

What I mean is, if her friends come in for a quick chat when she's on shift they might end up buying something sometimes.

You will be doing her work whilst she chats.

Original poster
OldClothes · 07/02/2025 19:30

Sorry if I was patronising. They are both 18 or thereabouts

OP posts:
Miaowzabella · 07/02/2025 19:27

Whichever young woman you choose, please don't let her hear you refer to her as a girl.

Original poster
OldClothes · 07/02/2025 19:27

DoYouReally · 07/02/2025 19:23

If it's an unpaid volunteer, surely you can have two?

Edited

At the moment, probably won't be able to fit both in without either giving someone else the boot or being overstaffed for certain shifts.

OP posts:
EmmaMaria · 07/02/2025 19:27

I am going to vote (c)

C stands for -
(a) stop calling adult females "girls" - it is patronising and insulting, and
(b) if you need a MN AIBU vote to make a decision, then you are not fit to manage anything on the face of the earth, and
(c) was "safe side" or "fun" anywhere on the person specification?

They may be applying to be volunteers, but they deserve the respect that anyone applying to do a job of work should expect. Honestly, working for you doesn't meet that criteria. I am disgusted you thing this is a fun poll for MN.

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