To hire a cleaner when working PT?

Unless money is tight, get a cleaner.

Even when I was a SAHM, we had a cleaner. I have no interest in cleaning.

Outsource everything you can OP. Cleaner, gardener and laundry services. It will free up time for all of you as a family. That is the true benefit to quality time together. You do enough.Look upon it as an investment for all the family.It will be the best money you can spend,

I work Monday to Thursday 8:30 - 3:30. We pay a family member who has their own cleaning business to come every other week at the moment which works for us. Our children are reception and nursery age, so it really helps! My little one is home with me on a Friday, so not much gets done. 😆 It means I can enjoy the weekend and only have to do a quick clean. You’re definitely not being unreasonable and I’d go for it!

where I work 35 hours a week is full time (1hr lunch on top unpaid) so you only work 3 hours less but it just seems more because you have a full day off.

tell him you’ll do the equivalent of 1/3 of of the cleaning and he can do the rest ac you’re sacrificing your lunch break to do pick ups etc. plus picking up after him.

i bet he soon changed his tune.

I work PT and have a cleaner because I want a clean house but don't like cleaning. I find in general that the people in any household saying a cleaner isn't needed are almost always not the ones doing the cleaning.

I’m beginning to realise that all of my friends who have a nice house, must have a cleaner… I didn’t know how common it is!

There was me thinking that I’m just not doing enough at home. But I literally never sit down! This thread is an eye-opener.

I don't see any problem at all with what you want to do and your DH should WANT you to be happy and have some time to rest and do self care.

Sometimes relationships get into a toxic comparison battle of who is working the hardest, who is the most tired and unfortunately some men do see cleaning as something women should just get on with.

I am a much better wife when I feel happy and have had some time to relax. I feel more generous emotionally and connected to him because I'm not resentful. It goes both ways, because I do things for him to ensure he feels like he is getting looked after too.

Marriage is like an infinity symbol of constantly flowing energy and it needs to be replenished from both sides or one person is going to get exhausted carrying the flow.

I would be questioning why he resents you having a cleaner if it isn't going to really affect him.

Yes definitely get one. We got a deep clean before Christmas and now have someone two hours a fortnight. DH had to see it in practice to get the value as he's from a very traditional background. His parents only got one once they could no longer manage.

Frees my time up to save money in other ways, run the house plus a bit of time for me. Well worth the money. I'm full time now but I know retired and part timers with cleaners.

Barely have time to fart - brilliant!
I know the feeling though and sympathise.
I bet your DH wouldn't want to swap...
Show him the thread once you have more replies..!

Presumably you feel obliged to do it because your reason for going part time was that you could use that day to get on top of stuff at home (in crude terms, there was family value in you decreasing your hours).

If my DH said he wanted to drop his hours so he could get on top of the house and I agreed, then later he told me he wanted to get a cleaner instead so that he could get a hair cut and enjoy some child free time I'd be wondering what the point of decreasing the family income was, only to have to pay for a cleaner as well!

Don’t put them away.

He’s a grown man. He can put away his own clothes. Remind him he’s welcome to start washing them too if he can’t be a bit less useless

It's MN, don't start the debate 😂

There are enough of threads from SAHM who have no time whatsoever, and it does wind posters up.

You don't need a "job" to be extremely busy ,and you are doing more than enough. Of all the things to feel guilty about, having a cleaner is not one.

My DH offered for us to get a cleaner when I wasn't working and we had no kids. I had PLENTY of time to clean...

Why did he offer? Because he said he didn't want me having to do anything he wouldn't want to do himself.

I refused as I don't mind, I had time and it did seem a bit of a waste of money... But why would your DH insist on you having to clean if you could afford a cleaner and it would make your life happier/nicer?

It makes no sense to me and feels a bit mean really.

Same

As above, the only question should be "can you afford it"

Your husband is welcome to do her job at the weekend if he prefers.

You don't need to have a job AT ALL to have a cleaner!

Leave them on his side of the bed.

If you can afford it then why not? That cleaner is person trying to earn a living.

I would also suggest to DH that he should take responsibility for somethings as well, as it sounds like your work and childcare takes up most of your time.

I'm retired now so I don't work at all. I've had a cleaner for most of the 15years I've been retired.

I could use the excuse that I'm disabled now, so need one, which is true. But I also had one when I was swimming 50 lengths of my local pool four days a week, and walking to the pool (about 45 minutes from home) as well. My excuse then was, well I'm busy swimming and walking.

You don't need an excuse to get a cleaner. If you can afford them (and pay a decent wage) then go for it.

I used to work 10-2 three days a week. I didn't have a cleaner but did pay for the ironing to be done and had a weekly food delivery.
It made life much easier and gave me the time to fit in DTs many after school activities and some time for myself.

He could always do the cleaning at the weekend seeing as he's not doing any child pick ups/dinners etc