To hire a cleaner when working PT?

How much you work or don't is irrelevant. If you can afford a cleaner and it will make life easier then absolutely. Life's too short. If we can We all should be maximising enjoying our time however that looks like to us. (Within reason obviously im not talking about being selfish or neglecting other areas of life/people)

Your husband however seems like a bigger issue. He seems to think cleaning is your domain hence it would be "your" cleaner. That would lead me to think he isn't pulling his weight in your life together and I'd personally feel he didn't view me as equal to him.

I would get the cleaner. I work 27.5 hours a week and we have a cleaner fortnightly for 2 hours. Just knowing that the kitchen and bathrooms are getting done properly every fortnight is a big relief and it definitely helps us keep on top of it as a busy working family

Don’t feel guilty. Dont justify it. You have the money and you want to do it - get the cleaner! (I’m between cleaners at the moment and it’s killing me, lol).

You're not really working part time are you? You're in paid employment part time.
Get a cleaner if it will make life easier and more enjoyable. Otherwise all tasks get a time allocated and husband can do his share.

Yep get a cleaner 100%

I work full time but have a housekeeper. It's a game changer - lets me have a life outside of work and kids, I don't have to worry about cleaning, ironing etc.

If you can afford it, Go for it.

Sounds as though you are doing a double working day on each of the other four days, whilst he just works one, so yes you should definitely have some time “off” on your NWD. Not that it ought to be as transactional as that.

And it’s not a whole day anyway if you have to pick up the kids from 2, it’s a half day “off”.

He needs to buck up his ideas about how much he needs to contribute around the house and in terms of picking up after himself.

You aren’t a resource that needs to be “running” every second for him to get his money’s worth!

Could you alternatively change your working life so that you do have time to have a lunch break and don’t start so incredibly early? Those other four days sound exhausting. I’d do five normal days which would actually be easier and get a cleaner.

If you can afford it you should do it. I work 28hrs and have a cleaner, only 2hrs a fortnight but it makes a huge difference. For all the reasons you have listed.

Me and dp used the alternate the 'big clean' between us each week, but it's a drag, £60 a month is completely worth it. There's lots of things I'd sacrifice now before the cleaner.

I started off paying for it because it was me who wanted it, and it felt like a luxury. No dp sees the benefit and now we treat it as any other household bill.

What is he doing on his commute to London? Is he on the train watching Netflix or is he working the whole time?

Anyway, that isn't the main point here - he is doing the bare minimum at home, not even being 'helpful' and not even putting his clothes away! As if your job as a nurse is easy!!! That has got to stop. You both need to have the same amount of working time (by which I include childcare, housework, organising gifts etc.) and the same amount of leisure time. I hope that if you work that out, he'll see that a cleaner helps you both out.

You've also said that having a cleaner wouldn't break the bank at all which boggles my mind as why does this even need to be a long conversation to start with! It's like he doesn't like the idea of you in any way feeling slightly more relaxed or happy.

Write out your average working week and see who has the most leisure. Sounds like he has two hours or so a day of commuting time to himself and you have zilch.

Just get the cleaner. You both earn, why does he think it's him paying and approving the idea? He doesn't want to clean so he doesn't. You don't want to clean so dh gets to decide. How does that work?

Tell him the cleaner is part of his contribution to the household chores.

I would try a little experiment if I were you. People who don’t do the task have no idea how long the task takes. For a few weeks I would only do the cleaning on your day at home. But I wouldn’t do anything else for the household. That can be done at the weekend and DH can help, right?

I think sometimes men want a sense they are getting “value for money” when their wives work PT. He will have no idea how much you do behind the scenes. I have two school days each week (let’s say 6 hour blocks) and I still have days when I don’t sit down other than for lunch.

Life admin, decluttering, sorting kids outgrown clothes,ringing people up about stuff, facilitating things like the plumber, taking the car for its service, etc. This is all “Cat can do that on her day at home” territory. We have a child with additional needs so I don’t get evenings to relax, and I also have to deal with stuff for him in the day, school meetings sometimes, etc. Trying to get ahead in advance of my working days.

Funnily enough, the house isn’t much cleaner! I sometimes feel working PT is the worst and best of both worlds, as you can’t do everything you want at work or at home but people still expect you to.

Same exact situation with us. I am not the family skivvy, I need time for myself too.

I'm a sahm and I have a cleaner😅 if you can afford it do it. My dh also works a very stressful job and long hours but he feels bad about that , and realises that I am not the family slave. He does more than enough when he's around but I do the rest of it most of the times. I sort the kids, dinner, school stuff and tidy if I can. The rest is done by our cleaner. Also I do need time for myself too.

Make a very clear half and half chores list that means you will essentially be responsible for things impacting you....your washing, cleaning your bathroom etc. Pay whoever you want to help you with your half and point blank refuse to do his. What a twat!

I work four days (but full time hours) and have a cleaner every two weeks. The school day is so short - on my day 'off' by the time I've done some exercise, put the laundry that's built up from the week away, done whatever errands need doing and chipped away at some jobs on the to do list, it's time to pick up. It's also useful to have that time for GP/dentist/vet/hair appointments if necessary.

It's so lovely knowing the house is always in a reasonable state if someone comes over unexpectedly. Obviously I still clean between cleans, but I'm not scrubbing the bathroom.

I certainly wouldn't be picking up after a grown man though - even my six year old gets told to pick up after himself.

I don’t think you’re being fair to yourself by describing your hours as part time. I was expecting 16-20 hours a week. You’re pretty much full time.

Get the cleaner and get DH to do more. Do whatever you need to do to make your life easier with your FULL time job and doing most the childcare on top of that.

Get the cleaner. You work so you can live and that living includes downtime for you. Don't even discuss with dh. Executive decision.

I work 23 hours a week and a cleaner comes in twice a week for two hours each time. I do some cleaning at the same time or I do the food shop or have my hair done. We both consider it money well spent. I don't expect him to split housework 50/50 but I do expect an equal amount of free time for leisure. Of course my husband also started paying into an ISA (in my name) to cover my pension shortfall which is how a partnership should work.
Could you get someone to come in once a month and give the kitchen and bathrooms a really good deep clean. Then it's just a case of keeping on top if it the rest of the time.
I'd keep a time sheet of all the tasks you do and how long it takes to do them. I swear to god most men have no idea!

@BreezyScroller it's humorous that you would tell me I sound bitter, and then also tell me not to judge others.

I'm not bitter at all, I feel privileged to work part time. I do that because we can afford it, not because I'm forced to.

Outsourcing help when you have the time/ability to do it yourself is a privilege and it's ignorant to pretend that it isn't. Most people in this country can't afford to pay a cleaner while they're working full time and raising children. The fact that it's a privilege doesn't mean it's wrong to enjoy it, but it's odd to pretend that it isn't.

As I said before, I can see why it's appealing to the OP, but I can also see why her DH thinks it's a bit daft.

Get a cleaner. Plus go to the gym on your day off and spend a good portion of that time in the sauna or the cafe. Justify it To yourself (if you have to) as payback for years of picking up clothes and getting by on one evening a week to yourself. Fake righteous indignation if challenged. Make a fuss over any hobbies/ expensive food and drink he likes and say you're not paying for that.
Good luck

I am a SAHM and I have a cleaner. I have 1.5 days when my DD is in nursery and I still have a cleaner. Sometimes I have a cleaning / sorting frenzy on my days 'off', sometimes I meet friends for coffee or do a puzzle or go back to bed - and I STILL think having a cleaner is justified.

I take on the majority of the childcare 24/7, just like it sounds you do. Not just in 'work hours', but in the evenings, weekends and overnight as well. My DH works hard at his job but does not clean, or tidy. If he isn't going to do his share of the work when he's here, then he must pay someone else to do it, I am not a servant and I deserve a break too, and I also deserve to live in a clean home. As do you.

Tell him he can do the cleaning on his day off

you sound bitter! 😂

get on top of the house around her naps and in my evenings.
think of all the more interesting and rewarding things you could be doing. Some people exercise, meet friends, study, do art, achieve interesting things. If you are happy doing the housework, go for it, but don't judge other people.

Wasting time on MN is also an indulgence, don't you feel guilty about that?

I'm working a few hours at the weekend and we have a cleaner bi-weekly. She was once a month since I had a baby last year and we just increased. So you don't need to justify it. I have an active baby and still don't have time to fit in all the cleaning 🤷🏻‍♀️