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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my mum over reacted. Photo attached

294 replies

Lou989 · 07/02/2025 17:30

I was washing my hands at my mums, a bit of water went on the stainless steel bit where the pots dry. She got annoyed saying she’d spent time doing it today. It was only a bit of water. So threw. A piece of cutlery at my hands whilst they were still under the tap and said I was selfish. Haven’t done anything wrong I don’t feel

Sensitive content
To think my mum over reacted. Photo attached
OP posts:
Aftergloww · 07/02/2025 20:51

Where is op? Is this bait?

Wellwellwellys · 07/02/2025 20:43

How awful. This is absolutely not okay.

Quiinkong · 07/02/2025 20:39

Lou989 · 07/02/2025 17:33

She has slapped me in the past over a minor thing, think it was last year, late 20s, not a child btw.

Show quote history

Are you asian or african? I find these 2 continents act like their adult kids are still children they can speak to and lash out at as they want regardless of age. I'm 38 and my mum still acts the same sometimes (although 80% better than when i was a teen) minus the violence

ItGhoul · 07/02/2025 20:34

LillyPJ · 07/02/2025 20:24

That's awful and she shouldn't have done it. But is she ok? Is she under stress at the moment? Is she often like this?

It doesn’t matter if she’s under stress. Throwing cutlery at someone because they got a splash of water on the drainer is not a normal or acceptable response to stress. It’s abusive and violent. The OP says her mother has also slapped her before.

Cherrysoup · 07/02/2025 20:28

LillyPJ · 07/02/2025 20:24

That's awful and she shouldn't have done it. But is she ok? Is she under stress at the moment? Is she often like this?

Don’t think that’s at all relevant. I can’t imagine deliberately throwing anything (maybe a tea towel?) sharp at anyone, regardless of my mood/circumstances.

Pinkpanther111 · 07/02/2025 20:27

Following

LillyPJ · 07/02/2025 20:24

That's awful and she shouldn't have done it. But is she ok? Is she under stress at the moment? Is she often like this?

Jellyslothbridge · 07/02/2025 20:20

Was she horrified you got hurt? If it was a knife even a table knife I would not be spending time alone with her again.

Nationsss · 07/02/2025 20:19

That looks very sore.
Do you live with her?
If so, time to be making a move.

Put a plaster on that, it could get infected.
Your mother sounds very volatile.
Can you visit a friend tonight?
If you can, do.

Borgonzola · 07/02/2025 20:17

No, this is horrible behaviour. She should be ashamed of herself. But I'm guessing she has form for not having control over her emotions?

oakleaffy · 07/02/2025 20:16

EdithBond · 07/02/2025 20:10

I made it clear it wasn’t an excuse if you read my post. I’m sorry if you found this triggering.

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I agree- I have seen women suffering with PMT and menopause symptoms completely lose their shit {Workplace} throwing stuff and screeching.
{One of these women worked in a school {!}.

People including the children trod on eggshells around her.

Alcohol can also make some people very volatile.

HonoraBridge · 07/02/2025 20:14

That is deeply weird behaviour. Did your MIL actually throw it at you?

Rosesanddaffs · 07/02/2025 20:11

@Lou989 I’m guessing you live with her, it sounds like she’s looking at any reason to start on you, that’s what my mum used to do and I used to be a sobbing nervous wreck.

Thankfully I moved out years ago, please don’t put up with this behaviour, make a plan to get out of there as soon as you are able to.

There is no excuse for her behaviour xx

EdithBond · 07/02/2025 20:10

NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/02/2025 20:06

Hormones are no excuse, anymore than 'we was playing and throwing knives and tongs at one another' was an excuse for the man who murdered a teenager and was found guilty recently.

I've seen the woman that birthed me twice in the last twelve years after a similar occurrence - and that was purely due to a sudden death.

They don't change.

Show quote history

I made it clear it wasn’t an excuse if you read my post. I’m sorry if you found this triggering.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/02/2025 20:06

EdithBond · 07/02/2025 20:02

Looks sore. YANBU. Violence is never OK. So whatever you’d done it wouldn’t be OK to throw cutlery at you.

But to get upset at all over water splashed on a draining board is a huge overreaction. So, she should take responsibility and profusely apologise. If she doesn’t, and has been violent before (slapping) then you need to set a clear boundary that it’s not acceptable and keep away from her as much as you can.

However, if she’s pre-menopausal, under a lot of stress or struggling with her mental health it may explain her losing her temper more easily. Though not excuse the violence. So, while protecting yourself, suggest she gets some help with controlling her anger.

Hormones are no excuse, anymore than 'we was playing and throwing knives and tongs at one another' was an excuse for the man who murdered a teenager and was found guilty recently.

I've seen the woman that birthed me twice in the last twelve years after a similar occurrence - and that was purely due to a sudden death.

They don't change.

oakleaffy · 07/02/2025 20:04

NameChange101xox · 07/02/2025 17:32

No that isn’t normal. Do you need the hospital? Was it a knife?

Hospital for a minor abrasion isn't needed- A bit of savlon and it should heal just fine.

But being slapped by your mother {Or anyone else} is not on.

Does she drink alcohol?

Sounds like she needs anger management.

EdithBond · 07/02/2025 20:02

Looks sore. YANBU. Violence is never OK. So whatever you’d done it wouldn’t be OK to throw cutlery at you.

But to get upset at all over water splashed on a draining board is a huge overreaction. So, she should take responsibility and profusely apologise. If she doesn’t, and has been violent before (slapping) then you need to set a clear boundary that it’s not acceptable and keep away from her as much as you can.

However, if she’s pre-menopausal, under a lot of stress or struggling with her mental health it may explain her losing her temper more easily. Though not excuse the violence. So, while protecting yourself, suggest she gets some help with controlling her anger.

Dotto · 07/02/2025 19:57

I wouldn't be seeing her again for an extremely long time, if at all.

It doesn't matter if it was an accident - getting a telling off for splashing water in the sink is batshit.

Chuchoter · 07/02/2025 19:57

Is she an alcoholic?

Dementia?

It was a complete over reaction and presumably she was calm beforehand and then bizarrely lost control and attacked you by throwing the cutlery at you in temper.

This aggressive reaction especially over something irrational is a big concern, for your welfare and hers if she is unwell or an addict.

What are you going to do about it, op?

PinkyFlamingo · 07/02/2025 19:54

There is obviously much more background to this, it's abuse, apart from the slap you mention has she been abusive before in your life?

DaisyChain505 · 07/02/2025 19:53

Anyone who slapped me for good reason or not would not be in my life anymore.

Ivyiris · 07/02/2025 19:47

I would distance yourself. That is not okay op.

NiftyKoala · 07/02/2025 19:46

Absolutely she should not be throwing anything at you no matter how old you are!! It looks sore too. I hope you are in a situation where you can go very LC

itsjustbiology · 07/02/2025 19:43

Omg poor thing ..so sorry OP. My word that is unforgivable and shocking behaviour. I would be done with her for that especially given the previous incident too. Stay away easier said and done but you should not be subject to abuse from anyone.

AgathaX · 07/02/2025 19:41

You need some physical distance from your abusive mother. She's assaulted you, and not for the first time.

Has she always been like this?