Wine every night

Maybe pick a couple of days and allocate them with something specific to look forward to?

You already say Monday and Tuesdays are dry evenings, so glass of wine on Wednesday (adding ice to make.it last longer so just one), then:-

Thursday - bath bomb, nice bubble bath, candles and music followed by a bit of time spent on skincare/paint nails. Maybe buy a trashy magazine if that's something you'd enjoy (I do!)

Friday - play a game with dh, Scattergories or Phase 10, tapas for tea and a few bottles of non alcoholic fizz

Saturday - Movie with dh, glass of wine with ice as above

Sunday - pick up a cross stitch kit from Hobby Craft, listening to an audio book as you craft.

How many bottles are you drinking a week? Two glasses poured by your own hand can mount up to a lot over the week. No judgement as I've had similar phases in the past.

You need two to three hours for every drink - That looks a bit long to me, it's more usually an hour for an average-sized, healthy person to metabolise a medium glass of wine while eating normally.

Still, let's accept that it's around two hours. OP wrote that she consumes A glass of wine (sometimes two) over 4 hours in the evening, one before dinner and one after. That's a nice, wide window.

No, I don't think it's great to have a daily drinking routine or to rely on alcohol to liven up your mood. But there's some impressive hysteria in these replies.

How is it puritanical and handmaiden-esque to think a nursing mum wouldn’t be having glasses of wine everyday or 5 days a week?

From your posts, seems you wanted people to validate your consumption and anyone who disagrees is expecting “perfection” from mothers.

Not drinking alcohol when you’re a nursing mum is not a sacrifice for many of us. It’s a conscious decision made knowing that what we consume even if in small amounts goes into our breastmilk and our babies therefore consume that. Alcohol is a group 1 carcinogen just like tobacco. It is a toxin no matter how little gets into the milk.

Your choice as you say, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that you could choose another activity to look forward to.

I am sure your Mum didn't go from zero to 2 bottles of night, she probably drank 2 glasses a night at one point and then 3 etc etc.
What stands out for me is that you don't feel you can unwind without alcohol and that is concerning

This is a great post 👍

OP I am judging you for starting this post looking for validation of your actions not support to stop. Please reduce
Your drinking habits for the longterm safety of your child-
He/ she will toddling about soon. Does DH mind your sitting there drinking alone whilst EBF whilst he is sober?

For some, a couple of glasses of wine sounds like no big deal, but for others it would be quite a big deal. We all have different tolerances and I think the range of views you're getting here OP reflects that. I know I'd feel drunk on 2 glasses of wine, and tipsy after 1 (and how big a glass are we talking?) I don't handle alcohol that well and I certainly wouldn't want to care for a baby after drinking 2 glasses of wine / deal with disrupted sleep / wake up the next morning early and do it all over again on repeat. Motherhood is exhausting enough as it is without the added side effects of regular wine drinking.

I have a 6 yr old now and its taken me a few years to work out that I function at my best for her as a parent if I feel my best, physically. I prioritise going on walks , I go to the gym a couple of times a week, I try and eat well, drink loads of water and go to bed early now. Those early years I felt a wreck - clinging on to my "grown up" time in the evening watching Netflix till late at night and eating junk food because I felt like I'd earned it, then waking up with not enough rest and feeling irritable and grouchy, and my daughter bore the brunt of that.

I am a better parent to her now for facing up to my shit and realising that actually, she needs a healthy and well rested mother. The challenges of parenting will increase and you need to build stress-relief activities into your life that don't involve drinking. The whole family well benefit from that.

Podcasts while cooking - an escape and a bit of a change of pace for you, without involving a drink.

And for the amount of doubt, the amount of alcohol in your breast milk is the same as in your blood. You need two to three hours for ever drink. When breast feeding 6 units is seen as binge drinking.

in terms of the baby, if they are regularly being fed alcohol through breast milk it can lead to developmental delays, as well as growth stunting and weight gain problems.

the baby needs to come first. The op can crack on and drink daily, as much as she wishes, but the baby should move to formula for the babies safety, or she can’t feed the child until the next day..

Are you serious? What medical qualifications do you feel the op has, and what tests has she run, to determine if her going against nhs guidance and breastfeeding her child when consuming twice at least the safe limit of alcohol per week?

do you think the nhs just gives this guidance as they secretly support prohibition or something? Maybe to punish mothers? For the shits and giggles?

the op said if your sober enough to hold the baby you’re fine to feed the baby, it is utter nonsense, the nhs is very clear. And the baby should come first, not the ops need for the drink.

But it seems from what op is saying that baby is fine, so why the drama

Really, you need to call the nhs and explain that to them then,

https://www.nhs.uk/start-for-life/baby/feeding-your-baby/breastfeeding/can-i-breastfeed-if-im/drinking-alcohol/#:~:text=While%20it's%20safer%20not%20to,unlikely%20to%20harm%20your%20baby.

Drinking isn’t the problem. Needing to drink is the problem.

I agree that on Mumsnet anything more than a thimble sized drink once a month is often touted as an unhealthy obsession with alcohol😂

But...current guidelines have changed for most countries in keeping with updated science. No amount of alcohol is "good" for you and the health risks of drinking are apparent at much lower amounts than previously thought.

I'm not teetotal myself but do recognize an awful lot of denial among those who want to insist that a couple of drinks a day, every day, is just fine. Adults should make their own choices regarding risks but it's silly to pretend those risks don't exist.

You know it’s too much and it’s definitely problem if you feel you have nothing to look forward to. My friend does the same s d has done for 20+ years. I’ve noticed in the last 5 years or so her face is very bloated. She’s basically a functioning alcoholic but can’t see an issue as she waits until the evening .

It's hard isn't it. My daughter has 20 food allergies and when I was breastfeeding my mil wanted to treat us to a takeaway/ready meals and there wasn't a single thing in the supermarket I could eat. If it was from the regular range it had dairy or eggs in. If it was from the vegan range it had soya or tomatoes or aubergine in and my daughters allergic to that.
At one point I had about 10-15 safe foods and I lived off green and blacks chocolate as there wasn't anything else I could treat myself with. I couldn't drink as it made my already severe pnd worse! You just have to find the little joys where you can don't you!
My daughters 4 now and whilst I'm not breastfeeding any more we try to keep treats in the house safe for her to eat. Although gin and prosecco are now an option for me!

Ah I'm sure they'll both be fine

For me, the issue is the lengths you are going to,to justify it, the annoyance you feel when challenged about it, and the simple fact no one with a problem “wants to,stop” that’s not how it works.

so,I think you’re developing a problem. You’re becoming dependent;and trying to justify it.

im also struggling with how signficant your intake is over the week whilst breastfeeding,

I agree with those who say it isn’t particularly the volume of alcohol which is a problem it’s the habit and the fact you appear to need it as an emotional prop.

My dad was a high functioning alcoholic who very rarely drank more than a bottle of wine every night and never before 5pm but he did drink every night without fail.

It affected his moods, his focus and ability to organise his life and it affected his family hugely.

The dependence is the most powerful thing and as PPs have said what’s really dangerous is it impacts your ability to feel joy without it.

This is where the “wine o’clock” tendency is so damaging. Making alcohol an aspiration and a reward that trades off against the frustrations of the day is a really fast road to psychological dependency.

I don’t think you are necessarily in problem territory in terms of the amount you are drinking but I would be looking to rein it in to curb this growing mental and emotional dependence.

She literally said her dh is at home earlier in the thread.