Want my abusive violent son out!!

Yes he thinks he’s untouchable because he gets to regularly assault and abuse his mother to the point of almost knocking your teeth out and leaving knife marks.

I don’t want to sound harsh in any way as you’re in such a bad position here, but up until now you’ve shown him that he can get away with whatever he wants.

You need to change this now. Before he’s 17, stronger, taller and probably murders you.

Listen to the screeds of good advice on this thread.

Ok, so home education can't be forced on you, it's 'elective'
Put in an In Year Admission application and get him back in school, schools cannot 'off roll' pupils, it's illegal.
Should he continue to behave like this in school, then they have to put behaviour management in place.

That's the first step and gives him some structure and means someone is tracking him.

Then, contact 'Early Help' yes it's social workers and the local authority, but its low threshold and designed to give you support. They can suggest local youth groups, assign a worker to your son, give him some input from someone who isn't you.

I know, I’m fed up of this being used for bad behaviour.
Maybe he’s sen, autistic, adhd?! But he’s also violently abusive to his mum and that needs to take precedence over everything.

I do because there was another mum here with 2 threads filled who has a song who is diagnosed and she has been around all possible avenues of action and nothing is done to help her

Who has been involved so far? I’d expect social work to have an interest in a child refusing school, has a referral been made to CAMHS for assessment and therapy? Simply put the fight for support is ridiculous and very hard to keep up when you’re also trying to parent in such challenging circumstances but if folk know what you’ve already tried they might be able to make useful suggestions.

What kind of behaviour management have you tried that has worked when he was much younger, and when did you see him change to where he is now?

As others have said contact people - your GP, Social Services, Children's services - and keep on pushing - enlist your local Councillor's help - mine was great when I needed SS intervention for a relative. I am guessing if he has been excluded from school there must be some history for him with SS to build on, a contact name etc. And two things to remember, doing the best for your son doesn't always mean doing it all yourself and second, you matter too! Good luck!

I think you need to speak to social services and ask for advice. Foster care may be an option but if he is violent that may be tricky as they won't want to place him with other children. It may be a police matter. Such a shame but it is unacceptable to live like this. Even if he is autistic he needs to learn violence is unacceptable. Does he have any interests or friends?

OP, I've just read your update. If you have other younger children I think you need to seriously consider foster care to protect them while both he and you get the support to move forward.
Call the police every time he's violent from now on. Be honest that you're worried he's going to kill you.

Op - whereabouts do you live?

the boy refused to go. You cannot physically shove a child to go to school if they don't want to move their own body. That will assault

Time to stand up against this, OP.

You're in a tough spot because he’s not old enough to be thrown out and you still have responsibility for him.

Next time he hits you, threatens you or damages any property, you need to call the police. When the come, you tell them that this is a regular problem and that you’re not safe with him at home. Tell them you want him arrested and let them do it. They’ll ask if there’s any family/friend that he can go to instead, but it seems there’s not.

Let him get a fright, feel scared and spend the night with the cops. Do this repeatedly if you have to. And when he’s old enough, get him out. Let him see what the real world is without the “pathetic fat pig” caring for him.

This.

You are able to voluntarily put your child in care. If you cannot meet his needs, that is possible. I'm not saying that's the best course of action for either of you - but making it clear to both him and your social worker that it's a potential outcome should focus minds a little

Op this is a level of abuse where he could literally kill you or somebody else.

Were police involved when he knocked your tooth out and left 'knife marks' on you?

Do you have other children? I hope you do not.

If you can find the cause, sometimes this helps to find a solution…
Different types of support she could access for example
Different approaches to managing his behaviour

Do you even really need to ask this question?

This is a really awful situation, and I can empathise.

My advice would be to raise the issue with Children's Social Care. I believe you can put in a referral online. State that you cannot keep him safe (the fact that he hurts you puts him at risk as well). State that you cannot meet his needs. State that his educational needs are not being met. If you have any other children, state that they are in danger of harm.

At your son's age, educational provision should be provided if home schooling is not working. There are other options, apart from home education. These include a PRU or a home tutor from the local authority.

If he has not already got an EHCP, you need to ask for an urgent assessment from the local authority with a view of having one put in place. Your son is not only missing out on education, but he is missing out on peer relationships, social contact and pastoral care.

Contact your GP and tell them the effect your son's behaviour is having on you. Contact the Family Rights Group, they have forums that can help you if you have or are likely to have intervention from social services.

Call the police - if he is assaulting you and/or causing damage in the home, this is a criminal offence. Police involvement could escalate the case.

I really feel for you. Your son is at a really difficult age and both he and you are being badly let down.

and even if he has, how this will help her wanting to be safe at her own home ?????

She needs to becareful about getting into trouble for abandonment of her child as she has parental responsibility.

However you do need to call the police and report each time and press charges as he needs to understand the consequences of his actions abs ask for social care involvement. I agree that parenting course do not always help in certain situations but they will not look at the child being the problem but look at holistically what is happening without blame. Usually behaviours are a form of communication around unmet needs

Try the Fischer family Trust. They’ll speak to you first. I’m sorry he behaves that way. He’ll soon be sixteen. You don’t have to take that kind of abuse, tell him, either shape up or you’ll have to live elsewhere at sixteen. If he hits pushes or shoves you call the police and get it recorded. Parents can and do put their children in care for this kind of abuse. Tell him you’ll consider that unless he accepts the help you’re seeking and works toward a change of heart. I chin up and act. Good luck

This sounds so awful for you OP,
Is his Dad in the picture at all?

I know this might sound daft, but have you sat him down and tried to find out what's going on with him? he must know deep down it's not right to be abusing his Mum.

sometimes people are in the middle of stuff and can't see a way out or other ways of handling things. Would he go to therapy and anger management, if you can get it for him.
I'm sorry you've probably already thought of all this.

Just hope you can get something sorted for both your sakes.
You shouldn't have to put up with this.

You need to ring the police every time he hits you, do you have other children too?

Next time he's violent, call the police & have him arrested. Ask for social services intervention. They can give referrals to anger management.

Call children's services and ask them where to drop him off because you won't take it any more. They will HAVE to act if you tell them you want to surrender him to foster care because you can't cope and they are not helping you.

Is his father anywhere where you could take him? Aside from whether or not he is interested, I mean is he physically, safely, living in a house with space for his son?

I appreciate that some part of you must love him despite all this, but this is no way to live, and it will only get worse as he grows bigger. 2 years from now he could kill you.

Have you ever called the police on him? I would say start now, but honestly I would contact children's services first and get them moving. Do you know how to do that in your area?