Want my abusive violent son out!!

I didn't say it's impossible. Children/teens do end up in care of course. But people on MN often insist that it's your right to just hand your child over to the local authority and walk away. The reality is that there are steps that have to be taken before a LA will agree to accommodate a child and it certainly can't happen overnight. I've been the social worker sitting in the office until 10pm with a lonely sad teenager waiting for strangers to turn up and take them to a hotel because there is nowhere appropriate for them to go. There's a national shortage of care placements and it's literally impossible to place a teenager with aggressive behaviours in a residential home without significant time needed to find a placement and planning for a move. Usually takes at least 2 weeks for a move date and that's a very optimistic timescale.

He seems typical of this generation, wants respect but gives none back.
I would call the Police on him.

No they didn't say that theu were being realistic .

I was responding to Glorybox first para where they did seem to be saying it wasn't possible. Nobody is saying it's an easy process.

OP - I can hear the desperation in your typing - I'm so sorry this is happening to you.

Unfortunately, even if you got him a CAMHS assessment, or the GP agreed to do something, or someone else offered some assistance, it sounds like you are going to struggle to get him to engage if he's got to attend somewhere.

Will he even attend a GP appointment with you for example?

I'm sorry to say that the only way he's going to get any attention where he has literally no choice but to engage will be with police involvement. Whether that's as a result of you calling them, or him falling in with the wrong people and getting wrapped up in something else he shouldn't.

I agree with the posters who say that you need to call the police each and every time he turns violent.

Here's s20 of the Children Act that @Startinganew32 mentioned - https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1989/41/section/20

There are safeguarding concerns for your other children too in all this.

https://www.fostercareuk.co.uk/knowledge-centre/reasons-for-a-child-to-be-taken-into-care - there's a section on this page about "voluntarily putting a child into care" that says:

"On some occasions, parents may place their child into foster care voluntarily... voluntarily placing a child into foster care mainly occurs when parents cannot, or do not want to, care for the child any longer.

It should also be noted that children may need to be put into care due to their own actions, if their parents cannot take care of them or manage their behaviour anymore."

I know it's not a decision that any parent would take lightly, but you have a duty of care to your other children also and none of you should be living in fear in your own home.

Nobody is ssying its impossible but its s not an easy process either .

You will need to call social services and make a self-referral. You and your son need support this situation isn't fair for either of you. I'm sorry you've tried to get help and have been let down.

You’re in such an impossible situation @Whatayear2023 , and it’s not fair on you or the other children. I’ve worked with children like your son and feel so sorry for the parents in your position. There’s next to no support available and no one really seems to know what to do with these children. All you can do is call the police every single time he’s violent towards you and ask for him to be removed from the home. They will have to involve social services and even though they may be reluctant to help at first (and by help I mean take him into care, as that’s all they can do), the more you report and basically make yourself a nuisance to them the more likely something will be done. So call the police every time he is violent or threatening towards you or anyone else. Police involvement and being removed from the home may be the scare he needs to see he’s not untouchable.

You can't just do this. Child abandonment is a crime.

Rawnotblended · Today 13:05
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Why are you home educating him? Not that there’s anything wrong with that but it has to be a choice rather than forced on you

Not if he’s been excluded or refuses school.

In this program about violent kids, one of the mothers was getting no help and she eventually refused to pick her ds up from school and a residential place was found, so I think it can be possible.
www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0023db6/spotlight-i-am-not-okay-spotlight

The MASH is nothing to do with CAMHS. You need to go back to the GP and request the CAMHS referral. The GP has referred to children's social services.

Yeah because its just that easy.

Soon life will perhaps give him a kick in the pants. Once he is of working age he’ll have to support himself and make a contribution to the household expenses. If he has a disability there may be support required for you and accountability for him, he’s abusing a very caring mum and the world has strategies and consequences for that. He either needs to shape up or or the world will have him shape up. He can’t hide behind a disability if his behaviour is abusive, he’s in place where thinks he won’t be called to account. He either engages with the help or the consequences of not doing so. Don’t keep trying to cover up. Tell him you’ll be there to help and support but that change must happen because you won’t tolerate his violence toward you. Courage mon brave…

And yes they can do it at short notice. Section 20 says the LA “shall” accommodate which means it’s mandatory, not optional.

They do have a duty to accommodate a child in need and if the parent refuses to have the child at their house, the LA has to step in and can be judicially reviewed if they don’t. Section 20 Children Act 1989.

Absolutely do this. {Call police} they can really help nip these aggressive behaviours in the bud.
You are being physically assaulted by your own son.
He is literally behaving like a vile abusive husband, and this behaviour needs to stop.
Boys do need strong {as in like a solid reliable } male role models - he'd probably be happier with discipline {as in boundaries} kids don't like to feel in control.

DV services and MARAC aren't engaged for child to parent violence.

They don't have a duty to 'house' a child. They have a duty to assess, and that may include accommodating under section 20. But there is no legal duty to accommodate a child just because a parent asks them to, and they certainly cannot accommodate children at no notice.

I'm so sorry OP You have been failed by those who should be there to support you
His violence towards you, and the fact that there are siblings is a safeguarding issue.
I would start with talking to the younger ones schools and ask for safeguarding lead to be involved for their welfare
This just might trigger something there
Call police next time, and every time he starts
Police will refer to Childrens services.. purely because of welfare concerns for your other DC anyway
Your DS behaviour has knock on effect, as you are painfully aware
There will be a duty social worker.
Call everytime he starts.
GP regular appointments for your MH
Just to mention there are social prescribers in most GP surgeries who can support and refer as well
I have been through a similar situation and you really do have to be proactive which is so difficult when you're feeling battered and bruised literally and emotionally I feel for you
Just a few ideas off the top of my head

That means that social services have determined that it doesn't meet the criteria for assessment with them. What about a CAMHS referral? ASC and ADHD assessment? Local authority SEN education team? They should all be engaged.

Your other children are being physically hurt

You witnessed this ?

You asked them to prosecute?

If the police won't act then you need to be on to your MP and police complaints

You are being abused. Please contact these people:

https://www.compass-ion.org/programmes/#:~:text=Who's%20in%20Charge%3F%20is%20a,abusive%20and%20beyond%20parental%20control.

Yes, it’s a parenting course, but I promise it’s a good one. It changed my life.

Do you have other children in the house? If so, how old are they?