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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be pissed off at nursery constantly closing at short or no notice?

61 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 07/02/2025 10:01

Not for the first time, I've just received a message from nursery, saying due to sickness they're having to shut DS2's room and I have to pick him up by 11.

I work nights. I had literally just got in bed when the message came through and was about to get 5 hours sleep before picking DS1 up from school. As it is I'll now have to go through until 2am with no sleep at all.

AIBU to be really fucked off that this keeps happening?

OP posts:
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stichguru · 07/02/2025 16:16

This should be a once every few years thing. I mean I work in education and I don't remember more than a couple of the team off sick at once, even when we had a manager who had long term serious health conditions and fairly long, regular sick leaves as a result.

The nursery are either running so close to their legal maximums that like one person off means they can't keep to ratios, or the place isn't hygienic so bugs are going round way too fast.

Pottedpalm · 07/02/2025 14:43

AngeloMysterioso · 07/02/2025 10:28

I'm genuinely so angry and exhausted I could cry. I was back in bed! I was going to get 5 whole hours of sleep! But no, fucking nursery is closing AGAIN

OP, what would happen if you said you were unable to pick DC up?

Bunnycat101 · 07/02/2025 14:42

I had two children go through nursery and never had a sudden closure due to staffing. I’d be very worried that they were a) running on the absolute minimum and b) don’t seem to have adequate contingency plans in place.

OnlyThickBeans · 07/02/2025 14:37

Absolutely not OK.

Both mine did 12m-4 at nursery and never once did it shut (except during Covid).

StampOnTheGround · 07/02/2025 14:36

I think you should look for a new nursery - my little one has been at nursery for 2 years and this has never happened!

StrawberrySquash · 07/02/2025 14:20

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 07/02/2025 14:07

While I think the nursery in this case is unreasonable to ask that kids are collected for staffing reasons, you aren't a suitable choice of emergency contact if you're not actually willing or able to collect the kid if it is needed.

Show quote history

It was in case the parents got delayed at the end of the day, when I'd have been relatively available. But presumably I might have been picked off the list. Even if you have a more free type of contact person they might still be on holiday or whatever. I just mean you can't 100% expect an emergency contact to be available.

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 07/02/2025 14:07

StrawberrySquash · 07/02/2025 13:51

What if they say no? I used to be the contact for my friend, but I couldn't just disappear in the middle of the workday for someone else's kid.

Show quote history

While I think the nursery in this case is unreasonable to ask that kids are collected for staffing reasons, you aren't a suitable choice of emergency contact if you're not actually willing or able to collect the kid if it is needed.

StrawberrySquash · 07/02/2025 13:51

Crunchymum · 07/02/2025 12:24

They'd call the next contact on your list (I assume most people have a 2nd + emergency contact)

Show quote history

What if they say no? I used to be the contact for my friend, but I couldn't just disappear in the middle of the workday for someone else's kid.

DragonfliesAboveYourBed · 07/02/2025 13:44

I've genuinely lost count of the number of times this has happened.

I've had at least one of my children in nursery since June 2020 and this has never happened to me. And June 2020 was when they reopened after Covid so more likely to have had staff off because you still had to be off with symptoms until a PCR test came back negative. (Obviously more likely to have had fewer children as well though).

DragonFly98 · 07/02/2025 13:24

Honestly you should have just ignored the message. Move nurseries my children have been in the same one since for over 13 years no gaps, it has never closed once. Edit other than covid lockdown obviously when they had to shut down.

Crunchymum · 07/02/2025 12:24

Springisintheairohyeah · 07/02/2025 12:12

Genuinely curious - what would happen if you just didn't respond to the message? I'm sure there are plenty of people who genuinely cannot check messages or leave their job at a drop of the hat

They'd call the next contact on your list (I assume most people have a 2nd + emergency contact)

FallOfSloths · 07/02/2025 12:15

This is definitely very unusual to happen more than once. Both the nurseries I've used have had qualified managers who will step in if they need to, as well as bank staff.

I would definitely move.

Springisintheairohyeah · 07/02/2025 12:12

Genuinely curious - what would happen if you just didn't respond to the message? I'm sure there are plenty of people who genuinely cannot check messages or leave their job at a drop of the hat

SJM1988 · 07/02/2025 12:06

TwentyTwentyFive · 07/02/2025 10:40

I did investigate going elsewhere but speaking to people it was an issue in most places so it wouldn't have resolved anything. No point going through the upheaval of moving and resettling, just to a few months down the line be in the same situation.

I'm really surprised that it seemed to be a problem with all your local nurseries. It's genuinely very unusual in my experience for a nursery to close for the day unexpectedly.

I looked at 3 other local nursery - all said it was ok but on talking to people I knew there (staff) it was evident that they also had the issue they couldn't get bank staff when needed. I wasn't willing to take the risk. Sometimes better the devil you know.

Original poster
AngeloMysterioso · 07/02/2025 11:57

I'm just going to be a bad mummy for a little while and let him watch Peppa on the iPad in my bed and whilst I doze. Fingers crossed he'll decide he wants a nap as well!

OP posts:
Original poster
AngeloMysterioso · 07/02/2025 11:50

Crunchymum · 07/02/2025 11:36

Not helpful in the long term but I assume there is no one who can collect DC today to allow you to sleep?

Then you can make a longer term plan?

I could ask PILs, but by the time they get here I'd get an hour and a half tops before I'd have to wake up to pick up DS1. I might be able to grab a quick nap between DH getting home and my start time but it won't be very long.

OP posts:
BeaLola · 07/02/2025 11:42

Definitely find somewhere else

I take it they refund you for all these closures ???

GreenWheat · 07/02/2025 11:39

That's really poor. The main reason I chose nursery for my DC over childminder or family is precisely because it doesn't need to close for individual sickness or holidays. I would move nurseries.

Theresidents · 07/02/2025 11:36

Why don’t they use agency staff?

Crunchymum · 07/02/2025 11:36

Not helpful in the long term but I assume there is no one who can collect DC today to allow you to sleep?

Then you can make a longer term plan?

HorrorFan81 · 07/02/2025 11:24

Yeah this is ridiculous and I'd be fuming. Never happened to me in all the years of nursery (2× children attending from c. 12 months)
I'd be looking for an alternative provision

CruCru · 07/02/2025 11:19

DaisyChain505 · 07/02/2025 10:41

This is what bank staff are for. There are agencies who they can call to have staff come in to cover the staff who are ill. This isn’t ok at all.

Or they are permanently short staffed and every now and then they can’t get anyone from the agency.

UncharteredWaters · 07/02/2025 11:13

Nursery used to ring my friend all the time because she worked next door. ‘Unsettled’ child always coincided with the children/staff ratio changing after school time.

Suddenly stopped happening when she said her DPs would be there but it would take 60-90 minutes to get there…

Im sure it was all a coincidence…..

UncharteredWaters · 07/02/2025 11:10

AngeloMysterioso · 07/02/2025 10:28

I'm genuinely so angry and exhausted I could cry. I was back in bed! I was going to get 5 whole hours of sleep! But no, fucking nursery is closing AGAIN

Switch your phone off and go to sleep for 2 hours at least.
They’ll cope.
The management can be the extra person. As you say if you were a surgeon they’d have to wait until you finished.

BurntBroccoli · 07/02/2025 11:06

AngeloMysterioso · 07/02/2025 10:28

I'm genuinely so angry and exhausted I could cry. I was back in bed! I was going to get 5 whole hours of sleep! But no, fucking nursery is closing AGAIN

Not ideal I know but could you use special parental emergency leave tonight? You will clearly not be able to function on that amount of sleep. Do you have to drive too?