Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What if Sandie Peggie......... identifies as a Muslim Woman?

111 replies

eulittleb831 · 07/02/2025 09:21

I openly want to push why a male Doctor believes it to be acceptable to use an exclusively female changing room, intimidating and provoking an experienced nurse who was heavily menstruating, not that her cycle defines whether a male should be in a female changing room or not in my view. Surely the legal track of the employment tribunal would be entirely different, and his conduct would be impacting on her religious beliefs and privacy? Sandie Peggie is a white woman, is presumably not protected by any religious beliefs, but why? The Muslim community would not stand for his conduct and rightly so. Will any decision not in Ms Peggies favour be subsequently upended by Beth/Brian/Frank imposing himself on the women's changing room when a woman of colour or Muslim woman is enjoying the privacy of that space?

OP posts:
Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 07/02/2025 15:50

@Ponoka7

‘The tribunal was told Ms Peggie refused to acknowledge or look at Dr Upton when discussing the patient."

Told by whom ? The complainant? If it wasn’t captured on cctv or instantly noted by unbiased witnesses, it is just hearsay, and so not admissible as evidence.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 07/02/2025 15:50

It’s the HEIGHT of male entitlement in plain sight.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 07/02/2025 15:49

TreeSquirrel · 07/02/2025 14:10

Any staff member who refuses to communicate professionally with a colleague for ideological reasons cannot and should not be in a hospital setting.

Any staff member who imposes an ideology that many women see as harmful - onto another staff member who doesn’t have to believe in or adhere to said ideology if they don’t want to, is unprofessional and shouldn’t be working in a hospital.

Like this man did to this nurse by going into a space he wasn’t entitled to be in (being a man) and making her uncomfortable and shitting over her boundaries.

Honestly there are some women who will
defend and prioritise men, especially the ones with special identities, over women no matter what.

delvan · 07/02/2025 15:43

Sounds like male entitlement to me. A doctor who would not accept being asked to do anything by a mere nurse. In a nutshell.

JHound · 07/02/2025 15:33

In English?

And do you think there are no female muslim nurses?

I am trying to understand this word salad?

HouseOfGoldandBones · 07/02/2025 15:29

TreeSquirrel · 07/02/2025 14:14

I agree it isn’t possible. However, in this instance, there were private cubicles available. The nurse seems to have refused to have a professional relationship with the doctor for ideological reasons, which no hospital can tolerate.

By "private cubicles" do you mean the lavatories?

HouseOfGoldandBones · 07/02/2025 15:29

TreeSquirrel · 07/02/2025 11:23

The nurse seems to have behaved unprofessionally here. Regardless of her views on trans issues, she needs to treat colleagues respectfully in a work setting.

It is not sustainable to have a situation where she refuses to communicate with the doctor about patient care.

She may think the transitioning doctor shouldn’t be using the female changing room, but she should have raised her concerns through the appropriate channels rather than being rude.

In any event, there are cubicles in the changing room so this seems to be more a case of ideological and dogmatic views being put before what is best for staff and patients.

She did raise her concerns through the appropriate channels & was told to discuss it with the male Doctor (according to both parties)

There are lavatory cubicles in the changing rooms, is that what you mean?

FranticFrankie · 07/02/2025 15:19

‘Serious’ trans? Rather than those who ‘want to identify as female’ ? What the heck is the difference?

TheyAreNotAngelsTheyDontCareAtAll · 07/02/2025 15:17

myplace · 07/02/2025 15:06

You can but
1- why does that make a difference? If I’m struggling with flooding menstruation I don’t want to be trying to manage it in front of a man with or without his cock and balls.
2- why assume he has? Most don’t.

I did not assume, don't put words in my mouth. I was pointing out that is how transitioning happenns for those who are serious trans rather than those who want to identify as female yet aren't prepared to lose their bits

Beowulfa · 07/02/2025 15:13

Those who are interested can follow the tribunal threads in the Naughty Corner.

Of course the reaction would have been different if a female Muslim colleague had asked for the women's changing rooms to be single sex.

But women shouldn't have to justify their need for single sex facilities due to religion, or have to describe heavy periods to the world via a court. In a civilised society single sex spaces should be a given (they benefit men and boys too). Decent men know this. Dr Upton is not a decent man.

myplace · 07/02/2025 15:06

TheyAreNotAngelsTheyDontCareAtAll · 07/02/2025 14:48

But you can have your knob and balls removed and a vagina fashioned surgically. And those transitioning (properly) have testosterone reducing drugs.

You can but
1- why does that make a difference? If I’m struggling with flooding menstruation I don’t want to be trying to manage it in front of a man with or without his cock and balls.
2- why assume he has? Most don’t.

SinnerBoy · 07/02/2025 15:02

GCAcademic

If I worked with a man who consistently eroded boundaries and insisted on getting changed in front of me, or being there while I was getting changed, I would struggle to maintain a professional composure when working with them too. That is what happens when men set out to intimidate women.

She told him that she felt uncomfortable with his presence more than once and then complained to management and was brushed off. He complained and they rushed to discipline and suspend her.

With all that went on, notwithstanding the fact that he's male and generally unsettling to women in a female only space, he was looking for a fight and manufactured one.

Transitioning indeed, he's still a man.

FranticFrankie · 07/02/2025 15:00

Head to Tribunal Tweets for info
or FWR- 5 pages
don’t trust the media will report accurately
Transitioning ‘properly’ - what is that?
Sounds a little bit transphobic

TheyAreNotAngelsTheyDontCareAtAll · 07/02/2025 14:48

TheEyesOfLucyJordon · 07/02/2025 14:11

Playing 'dress up' is exactly what he's doing. You can't transition to the opposite sex. It's just not possible.

But you can have your knob and balls removed and a vagina fashioned surgically. And those transitioning (properly) have testosterone reducing drugs.

TheyAreNotAngelsTheyDontCareAtAll · 07/02/2025 14:46

eulittleb831 · 07/02/2025 09:43

Presumably and assumedly Christian - if she was or is a Muslim the narrative would be completely different - why? is the question I am asking

Presumption and assumption. Ah yes, the basis for a rational argument.
Bugger the facts.

myplace · 07/02/2025 14:38

TreeSquirrel · 07/02/2025 14:14

I agree it isn’t possible. However, in this instance, there were private cubicles available. The nurse seems to have refused to have a professional relationship with the doctor for ideological reasons, which no hospital can tolerate.

I think you’ll find it was the other way around. When he became aware the nurse was avoiding changing with him, he started making notes about everything she did and got her suspended.

NImumconfused · 07/02/2025 14:17

TreeSquirrel · 07/02/2025 14:10

Any staff member who refuses to communicate professionally with a colleague for ideological reasons cannot and should not be in a hospital setting.

Many of us are following the tribunal at the moment, there is no evidence that the nurse refused to communicate with him. She was asked by another staff member about a patient (presumably one allocated to Dr Upton), she replied to the staff member who asked the question, and Dr Upton has framed that as refusing to communicate and being unprofessional.

Honestly, if you were following it, you,'d see how incredibly thin the case is, plus it now appears that NHS Fife may have failed to disclose a lot of relevant documents that could potentially undermine their case.

TreeSquirrel · 07/02/2025 14:14

TheEyesOfLucyJordon · 07/02/2025 14:11

Playing 'dress up' is exactly what he's doing. You can't transition to the opposite sex. It's just not possible.

I agree it isn’t possible. However, in this instance, there were private cubicles available. The nurse seems to have refused to have a professional relationship with the doctor for ideological reasons, which no hospital can tolerate.

TheEyesOfLucyJordon · 07/02/2025 14:11

Ponoka7 · 07/02/2025 09:50

I've changed my vote to YABU. The doctor is transitioning (not just playing dress up) and there are cubicles within the changing room. I think that this should have been better managed. However the Nurse doesn't accept them as a woman, so the doctor would have to be given seperate changing facilities. I'd be more interested to know if the doctor is now allowed to carry out intimate examinations without a female chaperone. If it was in a warehouse my answer would be different. I'd say that the trans person should use the seperate facilities.

Playing 'dress up' is exactly what he's doing. You can't transition to the opposite sex. It's just not possible.

TreeSquirrel · 07/02/2025 14:10

DeathNote11 · 07/02/2025 14:04

Women tend not to look abusive males in the eye. It often angers them & makes the abuse worse.

Any staff member who refuses to communicate professionally with a colleague for ideological reasons cannot and should not be in a hospital setting.

Screamingabdabz · 07/02/2025 14:10

We all know that in these enlightened days of EDI, equity and respecting everybody, that these words still ring true:
All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.

TheEyesOfLucyJordon · 07/02/2025 14:05

Ponoka7 · 07/02/2025 10:57

So a trans person can't continue in their career? You gave to give up everything if you are trans? I'm gender critical and never agreed with self I.D, but what you are proposing is oppression.

Dr Beth is perfectly free to continue with his career. He just needs to fuck off to the male changing facilities, where he belongs.

DeathNote11 · 07/02/2025 14:04

Ponoka7 · 07/02/2025 09:53

"Dr Upton said previous incidents with Ms Peggie had escalated to a stage where it "had the potential to impact care" of patients.
Dr Upton cited an incident on 18 December, where a young child was brought in.
The tribunal was told Ms Peggie refused to acknowledge or look at Dr Upton when discussing the patient."

That's worrying tbf. If the nurse can't accept a trans person to that extent, she shouldn't be in nursing.

Women tend not to look abusive males in the eye. It often angers them & makes the abuse worse.

eulittleb831 · 07/02/2025 13:58

Mittens67 · 07/02/2025 11:18

You are referring to what would then be a clash of ideologies. Trans vs muslim religion. An interesting debate.
I don’t think that nhs fife would be supporting this male doctor so very publicly if the female nurse was muslim tbh as the optics would not suit.
I am an atheist and don’t believe human beings can change sex so for me any such debate would be rather like asking if a unicorn would beat a dragon in a race.
What is really happening here is that a male is using a female changing room so he is obviously completely in the wrong but apparently this is not reality for some in these dystopian times.

Muslim women make up a sizeable proportion of staff in the NHS, wait for it to happen

OP posts:
MysticCatLady · 07/02/2025 13:56

The alleged 'hate incidents':

(1) The nurse saw that the trans Dr was in the changing room so decided to wait outside. The trans Dr took notes of this incident.

(2) Number 1 happened again where the nurse saw that the Dr was in the changing room and decided to wait outside. Again notes taken by the Dr and discussed with their supervisor.

Nurse escalated her discomfort to the managers, they said speak to the Dr directly.

(3) The nurse was changing out of her blood stained clothes (perimenopausal period overflow) when the trans Dr came in. She said you shouldn't be in here. The Dr said they were allowed to be in here and said I'm sorry you feel uncomfortable. Dr then submitted a complaint saying it was a 'hate incident'. Nurse gets suspended.

This nurse had been working in A&E for 30 years without any complaints.

Swipe left for the next trending thread