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Original poster

ASD child - “he looks through me when speaking to me” ???

35 replies

Ricecakesaremyjam · 06/02/2025 21:06

My son is 5yrs old, diagnosed ASD. His teacher has told me “he looks through me when he talks to me and he has a blank expression when he is stimming”.
I could be wrong but I thought it was common for autistic children to have occasionally blank facial expressions/stare? What is she getting at here?
Thanks for any replies xx

OP posts:

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 06/02/2025 21:19

Bayonetlightbulb · 06/02/2025 21:16

Is it? I have ASD, nobody has told me it has changed. It seems nobody has told the nhs either...

Show quote history

I also have ASC and work with children with ASC.

Definitely changed. For the better, I feel.

’Disorder’ is an ugly word.

Springflowersmakeforbetterhours · 06/02/2025 21:18

In secondary school my ds spent a lot of time in an isolation booth for refusing to 'engage' IE look directly at his teacher..
Is your dc in the correct learning environment op?. That would be my first question.. To myself and to his school..

TomatoSandwiches · 06/02/2025 21:16

Sounds like she needs some training, mention it to the SENCO, and reasure the teacher that despite the way he presents he is actually paying attention and he is absolutely not to be forced or corrected to make eye contact.

Bayonetlightbulb · 06/02/2025 21:16

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 06/02/2025 21:09

It’s ASC now.

Autism Spectrum Condition.

And yes, zoning out while stimming is a thing.

As for the ‘looking through me’ thing is just silly. A teacher should know better.

Is it? I have ASD, nobody has told me it has changed. It seems nobody has told the nhs either...

Greenstamp · 06/02/2025 21:14

It sounds like a criticism of his eye contact, but only she really knows. Ask her to tell you more.

Approach it with curiosity. Don't wind yourself up second guessing and go in challenging her.

MargaretThursday · 06/02/2025 21:14

Is she complaining or commenting?

If she's complaining then I'd respond by saying that is one fairly normal observation for children with ASD.
If she's commenting, then agree that he does.

HebburnPokemon · 06/02/2025 21:13

Raise your concerns with the SENCO

JLou08 · 06/02/2025 21:09

Yeah that sounds like pretty common behaviour for autistic child. Not sure what she is getting at but she may lack understanding around ASD. Might be worth having a conversation with her about why she raised it and ask if she has had any additional training around ASD.

FumingTRex · 06/02/2025 21:09

Autistic people sometimes are uncomfortable making eye contact which would explain the looking through. Its worth explaining this to the teacher so he doesnt get told “look at me when im speaking to you”

Unfortunately teachers have very little training in autism.