AIBU for asking guidance teacher for a meeting about my son?

OP, parents like you are part of the reason that teachers are leaving the profession in droves, my own DD being one of them. You are refusing to acknowledge that your son's behaviour is not acceptable and rather than address that you are blaming the teachers for him not performing as well as you think he should be. Classroom discipline is awful because parents aren't supporting the teachers.
My DD quit during her probationary year. Her timetable was 0.8 of a week and she was working 50+ hours every week with no free periods on two of the days; scale that up to a full timetable and add the other responsibilities that come with teaching and I can quite believe that the teacher you verbally abused didn't have free time to see you. When DD went back to the school to collect her belongings (she quit after being sent home unwell) she was told that two supply teachers brought in to cover her timetable had walked out because the classes were so bad.
You mentioned social media incidents; why is your 12 year old even on social media?

Surely this thread has to be a wind-up?

she refuses to meet with parents about the test results (I get that he’s only s1 so it’s not important in the grand scheme but I’m still concerned.)

But she has said she is happy to meet with you – just that it may take some time to arrange bc you want to meet more than one member of staff, and also there are currently other, more significant (sorry but it’s true) pressures on teachers’ time – and no they are not making that up as you seem to think.

she refuses to speak with me on the phone (I admit I shouldn’t have sworn but I am just frustrated with the situation. I did ask the office staff yesterday to pass on my apologies for my previous outburst.)

Well she did speak to you on the phone and you told her you didn’t care about what other things she had to deal with and swore. So now she is less keen to speak. Understandable.

she refuses to help with fights or bullying. Of course it’s at the weekend and she wasn’t there but also these people met in school, and are in school where I can’t protect or help my son

I am sure if there were fights in school, action would be taken. Oh yes! there has been action as your son has been pulled up for fighting – tho when it is your son it is only play fighting so that’s OK? But she cannot be expected to deal with an incident outside school, no. Call the police if there was a crime.

Unbelievable. I mean literally. Are there really such people out there? Thank goodness I no longer teach in a school.

As people have told you, their main roles are:

• Safeguarding. This can be a full time job in itself. Children in care have regular meetings, as do those on child protection plans and who have had referrals. In every class, there will be several children with known risk factors (alcoholic parents, domestic violence, neglect, Young carers, etc.) who are not open to social care. Pastoral staff often check in with these students daily to promote their wellbeing and ensure they aren't slipping through the net. They will probably also need to follow up on disclosures and staff referrals every day, getting advice, supporting students and making referrals to social care.
• Significant behaviour issues that happen in school, and doing things like keeping an eye on groups of students who have had issues out of school (as she is doing for your son).
• Teaching, probably. Few school staff are only pastoral, although this depends on the school's model.

Pastoral staff rarely get involved in concerns over students' results in a test, and certainly this would not be priority one.

What do you expect her to do? Spell it out.

It's not her job to do that.

If it's serious enough to expect a member of school staff to deal with an incident that happens at the weekend, then surely it's serious enough for the police?

Awaits the next " Yes, but she should.........."

Wait... So you accept that the police don't have better things to do, but can't begin to fathom that school staff might have better things to do?

God. You sound absolutely awful. Your son failed an exam, and because the teacher wasn't immediately able to meet with you to discuss this on your timeline you've been verbally abusive to them.

Child protection and safeguarding does take precedence over your precious poppet failing an exam.

I'd consider looking closer to home rather than blaming the school for the issues your son is having.

" my son behaves like any other S1 does"..... denial!!

This has to be made up. Surely no parent can be that stupid and entitled! So glad I left teaching!

Most pastoral leads in our schools have to have some teaching responsibility too, funding doesn’t allow otherwise

I bet @Sausageandchip will soon be getting the thread deleted because no one agrees with her on the grounds that it's "causing distress in real life"

Her job is to sort issues that happen within school time. It isn't her remit to be contacting parents for issues that happen at a weekend. And with social media, it wouldn't be very hard for you to get the parents details from this if your son knew the kids.

School can't be responsible for children 24/7. What part of this don't you get? You appear to take absolutely no responsibility whatsoever for your own child's behaviour and expect everyone else to be dealing with this rather than actually parenting your own child.

It’s not her job to sort it out.

If I agreed to manage everything that happened outside school between children, I’d never do anything else. Most parents, if there’s an issue, will let me know so we can keep an eye and stop it coming into school and disrupting learning.

We are there, primarily, to teach. We aren’t the police or social care.

The school can’t start giving out consequences for kids’ behavior outside of schools hours and off school premises. She’s noted that there’s potentially an issue between these kids and has taken steps to ensure no incidents occur during school time by keeping them separate. And she’s told you who is able and responsible to deal with serious incidents between kids outside of school time - the police.

I am also not familiar with the terminology here – is a guidance teacher a pastoral member of staff, or are they a classroom teacher as well? Tho tbh either way, it is not their role to investigate an incident outside school time and off the school premises and contact parents about it and I am surprised you think it is @Sausageandchip

You expect school to wade in and meet with parents of children who have had falling outs at the park of a weekend?! Imagine if they did that for all the youngsters in their care, there would be no time for actual school business.
Get a grip OP.
This is the most entitled and ridiculous post I have read in a while- I suspect you are probably trolling.

It's not her responsibility to investigate stuff that happens in a local park outside school hours. Nothing wrong with her response.

I know it’s at the weekend so she couldn’t be there to physically stop it but at the same time she has access to info about the other boys parents so she could surely sort it out if she wanted to?

She's a teacher. She doesn't have the power to manage the lives of a bunch of little thugs 24/7.

Yes I cannot believe that you don’t accept the response to the incident in the park. The teacher is exactly right, as others say. Fine to make school aware so they can keep an eye but it is not for the school to deal with police matters. The teacher is lazy because of this?

Also “just like any other s1” (I am not in Scotland, but I assume this is equivalent to year 7/year 8 in England?) – none of my DC got into fights at school, not did their friends. You need to realise that his behaviour needs to be addressed and take some responsibility.

Is this whole story true? I’m not usually one to doubt, but could anyone be this tone deaf and lacking in self-awareness?