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Original poster

Taxi costs split - who should pay

158 replies

Airspice · 06/02/2025 17:46

Just wondering if I’m being an arse for thinking this so would like opinions!

Going on holiday soon with a good friend and my two teens (ds14, dd16) 2 week package longhaul, can’t wait.

We were discussing costs/kitty etc the other day and she said that we’d need to get taxis round and about quite a bit (she’s been several times before so knows the score) and we can just split the cost 4 ways and I pay 3 lots and she’ll pay 1. I was a bit surprised, I fully expect when we go for dinner, trips etc to pay for me and the kids but for taxis I would have just split it between me and her, if it was her with the kids I would never have suggested a 4 way split for taxis.

YABU - there’s 4 of you, so split 4 ways, she shouldn’t have to pay for your kids taxi
YANBU - that’s tight, it should just be split between the adults

OP posts:
Original poster
Airspice · 06/02/2025 20:55

tropicalroses · 06/02/2025 20:47

Easy to be generous on a hypothetical

Show quote history

I actually did go on holiday with her and her young daughter (11) years ago before mine were born, I do remember on a couple of occasions splitting costs between just us two, even though her daughter was included so no, not hypothetical at all really

OP posts:
ChonkyRabbit · 06/02/2025 20:54

Airspice · 06/02/2025 20:43

Some people are getting a little bit heated suggesting that I am ‘expecting’ my friend to subsidise my kids, that’s not the case at all, I was just surprised as I personally would have split the taxi between the adults if it had been her with the kids.

Cost splitting threads always get nasty. Somebody will diagnose you or your friend with narcissism before long.

Original poster
Airspice · 06/02/2025 20:52

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:49

Well, OP, you are free to subsidize anyone you please, but you can't unilaterally decide that they are obliged to subsidize your family.

You are three people, she is one. Divide accordingly.

I really detect an air of "single friend should be grateful we deigned to travel with her, and therefore owes us...."

You couldn’t be more wrong here, there’s not one ounce of me that think she should be grateful we’re coming!! Funny!

OP posts:
BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:52

Loloj · 06/02/2025 20:49

I dunno - the kids are approaching being adults. If you were 4 adults sharing a taxi it would be paid 25% each so I don’t think she’s ridiculous in suggesting it- but perhaps a little bit tight. In the grand scheme of things how much are you going to end up spending extra on the taxis? Is it worth the hassle/awkwardness?

Why is it "tight" to only cover one's own costs?

Original poster
Airspice · 06/02/2025 20:50

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:24

This sounds as though you feel you are doing her a favour to go on holiday with her, and that you are due some sort of financial concessions in return. If that really is your attitude it would have been better to decline the trip and spare her the obligation.

Show quote history

😂 think you’re overreacting here, we’re very good friends and I certainly don’t feel like I’m doing her a favour by going away with her, or expect financial concessions, hilarious! I was just explaining to those who suggested that her having to go away with my teens was horrific for her than she has in actual fact been wanting us to go with her for a long time!

OP posts:
Loloj · 06/02/2025 20:49

I dunno - the kids are approaching being adults. If you were 4 adults sharing a taxi it would be paid 25% each so I don’t think she’s ridiculous in suggesting it- but perhaps a little bit tight. In the grand scheme of things how much are you going to end up spending extra on the taxis? Is it worth the hassle/awkwardness?

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:49

Bingo, @tropicalroses

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:49

Well, OP, you are free to subsidize anyone you please, but you can't unilaterally decide that they are obliged to subsidize your family.

You are three people, she is one. Divide accordingly.

I really detect an air of "single friend should be grateful we deigned to travel with her, and therefore owes us...."

tropicalroses · 06/02/2025 20:47

Airspice · 06/02/2025 20:43

Some people are getting a little bit heated suggesting that I am ‘expecting’ my friend to subsidise my kids, that’s not the case at all, I was just surprised as I personally would have split the taxi between the adults if it had been her with the kids.

Easy to be generous on a hypothetical

Original poster
Airspice · 06/02/2025 20:46

BlueMum16 · 06/02/2025 20:44

Definately get separate food/drink bills or pay what you each have.

I can see her point on the taxi. I personally would only expect a long term friend to go 50:50 but better to address it now.

Show quote history

We’ve been good friends for 30 years, she’s been close to my kids all their lives.

OP posts:
Jc2001 · 06/02/2025 20:46

Airspice · 06/02/2025 17:46

Just wondering if I’m being an arse for thinking this so would like opinions!

Going on holiday soon with a good friend and my two teens (ds14, dd16) 2 week package longhaul, can’t wait.

We were discussing costs/kitty etc the other day and she said that we’d need to get taxis round and about quite a bit (she’s been several times before so knows the score) and we can just split the cost 4 ways and I pay 3 lots and she’ll pay 1. I was a bit surprised, I fully expect when we go for dinner, trips etc to pay for me and the kids but for taxis I would have just split it between me and her, if it was her with the kids I would never have suggested a 4 way split for taxis.

YABU - there’s 4 of you, so split 4 ways, she shouldn’t have to pay for your kids taxi
YANBU - that’s tight, it should just be split between the adults

.

Original poster
Airspice · 06/02/2025 20:45

DeepFatFried · 06/02/2025 20:37

If the 4 of you were 4 friends you’d split 4 ways.

I can see both sides.

If I was your friend I wouldn’t have thought to do more than split 50 / 50, but in your shoes I would probably shrug and see it as her perk for being on holiday with 2 teens!

Whose idea was this holiday?

It was hers. She’s been to this place several times and for a few years has been saying we should come with her but this is the first year I’ve been able to afford it. I am more than prepared to pay my share, in no way am I trying to get her to subsidise my kids, it’s just not how I would have split taxis if it had been her with the kids.

OP posts:
BlueMum16 · 06/02/2025 20:44

Airspice · 06/02/2025 17:46

Just wondering if I’m being an arse for thinking this so would like opinions!

Going on holiday soon with a good friend and my two teens (ds14, dd16) 2 week package longhaul, can’t wait.

We were discussing costs/kitty etc the other day and she said that we’d need to get taxis round and about quite a bit (she’s been several times before so knows the score) and we can just split the cost 4 ways and I pay 3 lots and she’ll pay 1. I was a bit surprised, I fully expect when we go for dinner, trips etc to pay for me and the kids but for taxis I would have just split it between me and her, if it was her with the kids I would never have suggested a 4 way split for taxis.

YABU - there’s 4 of you, so split 4 ways, she shouldn’t have to pay for your kids taxi
YANBU - that’s tight, it should just be split between the adults

Definately get separate food/drink bills or pay what you each have.

I can see her point on the taxi. I personally would only expect a long term friend to go 50:50 but better to address it now.

Original poster
Airspice · 06/02/2025 20:43

Some people are getting a little bit heated suggesting that I am ‘expecting’ my friend to subsidise my kids, that’s not the case at all, I was just surprised as I personally would have split the taxi between the adults if it had been her with the kids.

OP posts:
tropicalroses · 06/02/2025 20:41

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:37

Why is it ALWAYS the solo/childfree who end up paying MORE when a "middle ground" is reached??

Math is math. Friend is 1/4 of the parties on the journey so she pays 1/4 the cost. Not 50 percent. The teens are getting just as much benefit of the taxi ride as two extra working adults would get. Friend is not their parent and not responsible for getting them from one place to another. She doesn't have to make financial sacrifices in your favour to be considered "nice" or god forbid "kind."

A solo person dining out with a couple pays their exact share, or 1/3 of an evenly split bill. Not 50 percent or every other time.

With parents and marrieds, it's always "heads we win, tails you lose!" when it comes to anything financial. And many of us are fed up by being taken advantage of.

Show quote history

This is so true. As the perpetual single in my family everything costs me more, and it really grates. My parents set the tone - we'll divide the cost amongst the adults, and of course they are happy to pay for the grandkids -but it means my brothers family of 5 costs me a bloody fortune.

Birthdays, Christmas, meals out, days out all cost me an absolute fortune. Over 10 years it becomes really grating.

ServantsGonnaServe · 06/02/2025 20:39

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:17

She'll be more cramped and crowded due to the presence of the teens. Indeed, they complicate the entire holiday. It's she who should be receiving some concessions/courtesies to make up for that.

Show quote history

Exactly.

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:39

Springflowersmakeforbetterhours · 06/02/2025 20:28

Find a bus timetable.. Tell her you and dc will meet her there... She can pay 100% of the taxi..

At least then she wouldn't be waiting around for them or squeezing into her seat.

DeepFatFried · 06/02/2025 20:37

If the 4 of you were 4 friends you’d split 4 ways.

I can see both sides.

If I was your friend I wouldn’t have thought to do more than split 50 / 50, but in your shoes I would probably shrug and see it as her perk for being on holiday with 2 teens!

Whose idea was this holiday?

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:37

mrsm43s · 06/02/2025 18:53

Using that logic, OP would incur the same cost for just herself and the children, so why can't her friend just jump in for free since it's not costing any extra!

Technically, I think OPs friend is right, she's only responsible for paying one quarter of the taxi costs.

However, these are friends going away together, and there should be a middle ground, and some consideration of each other.. I absolutely wouldn't be splitting every taxi journey, but maybe OP could pay for more of the days than her friends? I'd think a 1/3:2/3 approx split would be a compromise on both sides, maybe? But not exact? Just OP paying a bit more for her 3 people than her friend does for one.

Show quote history

Why is it ALWAYS the solo/childfree who end up paying MORE when a "middle ground" is reached??

Math is math. Friend is 1/4 of the parties on the journey so she pays 1/4 the cost. Not 50 percent. The teens are getting just as much benefit of the taxi ride as two extra working adults would get. Friend is not their parent and not responsible for getting them from one place to another. She doesn't have to make financial sacrifices in your favour to be considered "nice" or god forbid "kind."

A solo person dining out with a couple pays their exact share, or 1/3 of an evenly split bill. Not 50 percent or every other time.

With parents and marrieds, it's always "heads we win, tails you lose!" when it comes to anything financial. And many of us are fed up by being taken advantage of.

Springflowersmakeforbetterhours · 06/02/2025 20:28

Find a bus timetable.. Tell her you and dc will meet her there... She can pay 100% of the taxi..

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:27

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/02/2025 20:20

Why shouldn't friend pay for the full taxi cost, as she's going anyway and OP and her kids are just 'tagging along'?

The taxi is a fixed fee, its the same whether its one or four people in the taxi - what alters the taxi cost is the journey length/duration here, not the number of occupants.

Friend has asked OP and kids to join for a holiday - so presumably if they did not join her, she'd holiday alone, and 100% of the costs would be hers.

IF it were per person, then yes, OP is responsible for the costs of three people, friend only responsible for the cost of one. However that isn't the situation.

Show quote history

"100% of the costs would be hers."

Perhaps I missed it, but where is the OP subsidizing ANY of the friend's costs, from airfare to accommodation to meals? If anything, it seems the OP expects friend to defray some of the family's costs. The friend is paying no less than she would if she took the holiday alone.

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:24

Airspice · 06/02/2025 19:04

She’s not making concessions as such as she’s been on at me and the kids (teens) to join her on one of these trips for years 😄 but I get your point

Show quote history

This sounds as though you feel you are doing her a favour to go on holiday with her, and that you are due some sort of financial concessions in return. If that really is your attitude it would have been better to decline the trip and spare her the obligation.

WhenTheyComeForYou · 06/02/2025 20:22

Airspice · 06/02/2025 18:27

I guess because if it was reversed and she was the one with the kids I would never suggest we split it by 4 and she pay 3, in my eyes kids ‘don’t count’ for things like that. Of course I fully expect to pay for their food, trips etc but I don’t know, it’s just how I am

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They’re not just kids though; they’re your kids. Why should she subsidise them even though she loves you all?

It’s not a family holiday, it’s you and your kids, and her. Why would you assume your teenage kids don’t count?

Your holiday will be more expensive than hers, but that makes perfect sense; you’re paying for three people’s holidays, she’s only paying for one!

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/02/2025 20:20

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:15

Agree with this. Why should she subsidize OP's kids??

So wearying that the childfree are constantly expected to give, give, give and the generosity almost exclusively ever flows one way.

Why not just offer to pick up all the taxi costs yourself, since you'd be transporting your kids anyway and she is merely tagging along??

Show quote history

Why shouldn't friend pay for the full taxi cost, as she's going anyway and OP and her kids are just 'tagging along'?

The taxi is a fixed fee, its the same whether its one or four people in the taxi - what alters the taxi cost is the journey length/duration here, not the number of occupants.

Friend has asked OP and kids to join for a holiday - so presumably if they did not join her, she'd holiday alone, and 100% of the costs would be hers.

IF it were per person, then yes, OP is responsible for the costs of three people, friend only responsible for the cost of one. However that isn't the situation.

BettyBardMacDonald · 06/02/2025 20:17

ServantsGonnaServe · 06/02/2025 19:57

Its not just them though is it? Is the single persons journey better because there are 2 teenagers with them?

Edited
Show quote history

She'll be more cramped and crowded due to the presence of the teens. Indeed, they complicate the entire holiday. It's she who should be receiving some concessions/courtesies to make up for that.