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AIBU?

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Secondary pupil not allowed to wait in reception

188 replies

Gonnaenodothat · 06/02/2025 16:32

Hi everyone,
Apologies in advance for the long post.
Dd12 is in secondary school and Dh does pick up. School finishes at 3.15pm but Dh usually gets to her about 3.45pm because he picks up our other 2 dds from primary school and both schools finish at the same time. Our eldest waits in reception for him she used to wait outside but because its cold now goes inside to wait, She isn't quite sensible enough to walk home due to lots of busy roads which have had incidents involving pedestrians recently, the traffic is mayhem around the school so its not safe for her to leave the school site.
My issue is that just lately the receptionist had been making comments to our dd such as wouldn't you rather go to the library and wait and quizzing her about why dad is late what school do her sisters go to etc to the point where dd went outside in the freezing cold because she felt uncomfortable.
Today Dh collected her and was asked by the receptionist why he was late and is there anyway he can collect her on time, she knows why he's late and that it unfortunately cannot be avoided. She says the reception area can get crowded with upto 6 pupils and that why she's asking, the reception area is always empty when he arrives and if six pupils were in there it is a large space and I wouldnt really say it was crowded. None of the other receptionists have an issue so im genuinely unsure why it's a problem am I missing something are we in the wrong to ask dd to wait inside to be collected?

OP posts:
LadyQuackBeth · 06/02/2025 17:28

Can she at least walk safely (it's actually much safer when the whole school is emptying out and pupils are all walking in crowds) towards the primary school, cutting down the unnecessary effort for both DH and the receptionist. Does she have any friend that walk home that would be on the route or easy for DH to pick up from?

This was a daft plan when she started secondary school and you need to make a better plan now - ask other parents what they are doing, it might reassure you a bit.

Mynewnameis · 06/02/2025 17:27

No she can't wait in reception. The receptionist has tried to tell you nicely.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 06/02/2025 17:26

Put the younger ones in After School club and her father collects her on time?

Porcuporpoise · 06/02/2025 17:20

If you are "working on road safety" at 12 then I'm guessing your dd has some additional needs. That's all the more reason for her to wait in an suitable environment such as the school library.

KarminaBurana · 06/02/2025 17:19

pointythings · 06/02/2025 17:13

Does she have special needs? Because of not, at 12 she really should be able to walk home and navigate traffic.

I wonder if there is some additional information, because this doesn't make sense.

Sherrystrull · 06/02/2025 17:19

Why can't you pick her up if DH is collecting the others?

KarminaBurana · 06/02/2025 17:19

DemonicCaveMaggot · 06/02/2025 17:08

If the OP's DD has dyspraxia or similar she may have trouble judging speed and distance which can make crossing roads problematic. If there aren't pedestrian crossings on the way home it could be a safety issue for her.

Mine had dyspraxia, we practised road safety from an early age as it was even more imperative. He was walking to school and crossing roads safely by the start of yr6.

TrumpsOrangeNoggin · 06/02/2025 17:18

Do they not go to town or the park etc by themselves? Seems odd at 12 to not be walking by themselves. Can they have a cheap phone to receive a text and wait in the library? We walked to primary from about seven or eight which included avoiding traffic and crossing roads...

Anotherfrozenpizzafortea · 06/02/2025 17:17

Everydayimhuffling · 06/02/2025 17:01

If she's in the building then the school is legally responsible for her.

This she must go to whatever designated place is staffed adequately to supervise children who are staying after the end of the school day. In OPs case this is the library.

Reception is NOT the place for students to be hanging about after school.

pointythings · 06/02/2025 17:13

Does she have special needs? Because of not, at 12 she really should be able to walk home and navigate traffic.

theresnolimits · 06/02/2025 17:13

It may be an issue of confidentiality. Reception is usually busy all day; after students leave discussions happen, phone calls are made, other staff will drop in to discuss the day’s events/issues. None of these things can happen if students are sitting there. If she has been asked to move, she should. Also, if her phone is broken, what is she actually doing there - there’s no desk to do homework? Is she just observing…?

ThriveIn2025 · 06/02/2025 17:12

Grumpyoldthing · 06/02/2025 17:08

No , you can’t just leave your kid in reception until it’s convenient to pick them up 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I know right?! School is finished. If there’s an option to do homework in the library or read a book there, then that’s where she should be! Imagine if everyone did this! No wonder the receptionist is pissed, it’s for visitors not students!

user2848502016 · 06/02/2025 17:12

YABU reception isn't really "open" once school finishes is it.
She should wait in the library and get some homework done, or even better walk home or walk part of the way where your DH could meet her.

cadburyegg · 06/02/2025 17:10

I made my own way home at age 11 despite being one of the youngest in the year and having to cross roads in the middle of a city.

I think you're being ridiculous.

DriftAlong · 06/02/2025 17:10

Most school libraries stay open until 4pm for exactly this reason. Receptionists are taking and making calls and do not want a Yr7 listening in.
She can use the library clock and then leave and walk to the school gate to wait ready for a quicker pick up too.

DemonicCaveMaggot · 06/02/2025 17:08

If the OP's DD has dyspraxia or similar she may have trouble judging speed and distance which can make crossing roads problematic. If there aren't pedestrian crossings on the way home it could be a safety issue for her.

Grumpyoldthing · 06/02/2025 17:08

No , you can’t just leave your kid in reception until it’s convenient to pick them up 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Mademetoxic · 06/02/2025 17:06

Gonnaenodothat · 06/02/2025 16:55

We are working on road safety, obviously she won't always be relying on someone picking her up, no direct buses unfortunately or buses to anywhere close to where she needs to be. She did used to in the library that's the only other place she can go but since she broke her phone it was just easier to collect from reception we don't expect anyone to look after her it was just somewhere warm to wait.
Thanks for the responses

Why can the other kids walk home, and yours cannot? Why isn't it 'safe' outside school grounds?

Bournetilly · 06/02/2025 17:06

YABU. She needs to go to the library or make her own way home. Most secondary school children are able to make their own way home. If her phones broke then she needs a new one (even if it’s a cheap one).

KingTutting · 06/02/2025 17:06

I used to cover reception and students weren’t allowed to wait there unless they were specifically vulnerable and needed to check who was getting them etc.
Library is open literally for this reason, it means they are still in school and supervised.

FrannyScraps · 06/02/2025 17:04

Also sounds like your DH is going in to reception to collect her? She doesn't even walk to the car? This is super odd!

She's at least year 7 if not year 8. She should definitely be able to cross a road. Literally hundreds of others at rhe school are. Doesn't that tell you something?

Hankunamatata · 06/02/2025 17:04

Mine arnt allows to stay in school u less they are at an activity, in library or it room. Kids have to be supervised and your putting that on the reception staff by getting her to wait on the reception

CagneyNYPD1 · 06/02/2025 17:03

Gonnaenodothat · 06/02/2025 16:55

We are working on road safety, obviously she won't always be relying on someone picking her up, no direct buses unfortunately or buses to anywhere close to where she needs to be. She did used to in the library that's the only other place she can go but since she broke her phone it was just easier to collect from reception we don't expect anyone to look after her it was just somewhere warm to wait.
Thanks for the responses

Easy one. Fix the phone, go to library.

KarminaBurana · 06/02/2025 17:02

Why is it "not safe to leave the school site"? Hundreds of other children are doing exactly that. There will be people to walk with, and people to catch a bus with.
What would she do in an emergency?

pizzaHeart · 06/02/2025 17:01

Wonderi · 06/02/2025 16:58

If he’s going to be 30mins then tell her to wait in the library for 25mins and then walk over to reception.

I agree that she can’t really wait in reception for 30mins at one of the busiest times of the day.

This^

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