To wonder why all girls have long hair?

When I was a teenager I remember being the only girl that had short hair, once when I was 13 and then again at 17. It wasn't fashionable to have short hair but both times I had wrecked my hair so had to do it, so it is probably just fashionable again.

In all my classes at school (3 year 7, 2 year 8, 3 year 9, 1 year 10, 1 year 11) there are 2 girls with short hair. They are into alternative music.

I also have very short hair- think Mia Farrow in Rosemary's baby- and most students first assume I have cancer, or am gay. Some ask me openly. I answer honestly- I have an autoimmune issue which can result in my hair vanishing overnight. I initially kept it short to reduce the trauma of losing it, but now I do it because a) it's a piece of piss to get ready b) I have so much more time! C) i can dye it and change it regularly d) i'm 54 and I don't care about men finding me conventinally attractive e) I don't care if other girls laugh- most school girls would f) i think it's nice!

Most girls all look similar because the ideals have narrowed and narrowed and the pressure to look a certain way has ramped up. Girls have openly said to me they'd like to not bother with the hair, the eyelashes, the brows, the make up etc, but "no-one will like them otherwise".

By sixth form some of them are confident enough to switch it up and it is lovely to see.

Even if your GD is “only 9” that’s 9 years she’s had of taking in the message that girls have long hair.

she may not have access to social media, but you can be absolutely sure her peers at school know that girls have long hair, and boys have short hair. And will comment if anyone deviates.

my child had a pixie crop in reception. Mean little shits were even then telling her she must be a boy, and to go play with the boys.

I remember even when pregnant people were projecting gender stereotypes- it’s kicking? Got yourself an active little boy there, he’ll be a footballer….you feel crap? Yes that’ll be a girl, always giving mum grief.

children are exposed to these stereotypes very very early, even if we try not to. You really think girls have a “natural” affinity for pink? Not so long ago pink was a boys colour, so if it’s somehow innate how do explain that?

Maybe this may be the case with older children, but my GD likes her hair long, she's 9 and it has absolutely nothing to do with social media or influencers. She doesn't do social media, watch TV or read magazines and newspapers. Most of the girls in her class also have long hair, unless their hair is very curly and difficult to manage.

If it’s ‘fashion’ why has it been the fashion for twenty years? That would be unusual.

Every single girl in my town appears to have long straight hair not to mention teeny tiny skirts. I see hundreds every day. They all look the same (not a diverse area.) My girls prefer joggers and hoodies and they colour their hair but they go to school outside the area. The schools in question are very academic and maybe there is more pressure to conform and it’s also interesting to hear what people are saying about male attitudes to girls.

I think what others have said about gender id/trans may be relevant but has that been prevalent in schools for twenty years?

It was a factor. There were many complex circumstances obviously. She has autism she's gay she was isolated etc etc.

The point is it is a relatively new phenomenon that girls (or boys) who deviate from gender norms are now judged in a different way.

My personal view is that this is a negative development.

I have seen this happen in primary school.

For boys at secondary school a wider range of hair styles seem to be 'in' - or at least at DC's school. Far more long haired boys than short haired girls.

DS (15) has long hair and doesn't seem to have got any hassle; though he's so laid back I'm not entirely sure he'd notice if someone did try to hassle him.

That long haired boys aren't accused of being trans may be to do with other options for signalling. The male 'trans girls' or 'nonbinaries' wear skirts to signal. Whereas most girls wear trousers, so girls who want to signal 'trans boy' or 'NB' are often relying on hairstyles. It's a funny old business.

Interesting conversation. I'm appalled the world for our girls has got more misogynistic instead of less and really peed off for the girls who have been bullied for something so petty. The primary aged kids following the girl at the swimming pool fgs. Pathetic and so rude.

Do boys get bullied in school and told they must be a girl if they have long hair? Do they then think that they must be a girl?

If I child prefers her hair short and gets constantly told she’s a boy because of it- can you not see that the child may then interpret that as perhaps she is a boy? Especially in this current climate where not sticking to rigid gender roles does get you told you are “born in the wrong body”.

imo that’s pretty much the whole trans issue- gender is being defined by stereotypes, not biology. So if you like football and short hair, you’re a boy. If you like nail varnish and painting, you’re a girl.

Mainly fashion but long hair is considered stereotypically female.
In contrast my youngest is a boy and has long hair. He is only 2 and a half but gets mistook for a girl a lot, which I expected even though he wears very typical boys clothes, dinosaur backpack etc.

She identifies as a boy because she was misgendered as a child? Obviously I don't know your child but that seems a stretch...

Sorry to hear about all your daughters being bullied over their appearance, it’s so shit.

My daughter (v long hair mentioned upthread) has red hair, she desperately wanted to dye it a few years ago but luckily didn’t get it done. Now she loves her hair, it is truly magnificent but I she also went through her share of being bullied for her hair. Kids can be so
mean.

My daughter (aged 12) had her hair cut short and has been bullied pretty badly over it. Gets misgendered a lot (occasionally accidentally but generally deliberately). She’s now trying to grow it back, and is getting very upset over how long it will take. So yeah pressure for girls to have long hair is definitely a thing. Pretty crap, really. :(

It’s maybe a bit to do with all the recent sexual identity stuff. Maybe to cut your hair short as a girl these days means you’d rather be a boy.

Most women in general seem to be leaning towards longer hair. Even older ladies. Sometimes short styles are quite hard to maintain as well 😔

I’m late 40s. As a child o had a bob with fringe, cut it all off into a pixie cut at some point. Then grew it back and had a perm. Had perm cut out by 13 back into a bob which I then just grew out. Have had it long ever since. My DM kept telling me at one point that now I’m over 40 I should have it all cut off. That’s her generation. The boomer women all have short hair. My friend a similar age had a long dark goth style down to her bum but decided to grow the grey out properly so had it radically cut into a pixie style.

I’ve 2 teens. Both have generally had longish hair since they were young. They wanted to be like Rapunzel. My eldest is autistic though and has sensory issues around hair washing so decided to have it cut short with an undercut. Short as in sitting on shoulder so it could still be tied back for PE and dance and also when it’s not as clean!! Youngest has curly hair that’s hard to manage. It got really long but there was an issue which require it being cut into a very short bob towards y5 at primary. She has since front back out and wants to keep it long. She wears it straight and curly and I’m jealous she has the choice. The curly style is really hard to maintain well though.

The long straight look definitely seems to be the ‘fashion’ though. My autistic teen won’t follow fashion at all and wears totally their own style. There are a bunch of girls though who do have short pixie cuts and random other styles. They tend to be involved in the drama department I’ve noticed!!

Edited to add. I’ve noticed a lot of boy have longer hair these days. It seems to be a good chunk but not a majority. I’d say (from attending school shows) that these are boys heavily into music or drama. Many are rocking out the old 80s rock star look!!

They don't. I'm 67 and have waist length hair. My best friend is a year younger and her hair is midway down her back. I know quite a few older people who don't have short hair. My husband's hair is below his shoulders and he's older than me.

these were, pretty much word for word, the rules in my secondary school handbook in 1998. I don’t think schools ‘approving’ hairstyles is a recent thing!

Exactly. Many years ago there was hit song called "I'm a dedicated follower of fashion". And people have always wanted to fit in with the latest. Always will, too.

I wonder why all old people have shorter hair.

Hair cuts are expensive, happened in the 70s as well

Yep, I too would look like a haystack on legs with long hair 😂 It's not really thick but has a weird texture.

My hair is really thick and coarse textured and I would look like a haystack on legs if I grew it really long. Much easier to keep its good condition with the mid neck length bob I have now.

Fashion! It’s a very 70s girls look… remember the 80s when BIG hair was all the rage, and perms??
Never mind the girls - have you seen all the teen boys look like llamas??