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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it’s unfair that some people get inheritance while others start with nothing?

821 replies

ThisCandidCritic · 06/02/2025 14:22

Isn’t inheritance just another way of keeping wealth in the hands of the privileged? AIBU to think we should heavily tax or abolish inheritances altogether?

OP posts:
BilboBlaggin · 06/02/2025 15:01

My dad wasn't privileged. He was a working class man who started an apprenticeship at 17 with Sainsbury's (electrical engineer) and continued working with them his whole life. He was careful with money and had shares. Not sure if they were part of the remuneration package or if he bought them separately. Mum was a SAHM since me and brother were born. We lived in a small house, didn't have a family car until I was a teenager, and never had anything more extravagant than Butlins for our holidays. When he died he left everything to my mum. She's in her late 80s now and assuming she doesn't require a care home later, it will then go to me and my brother. We're not posh, nor have we had any more advantages than the next person, so why shouldn't we inherit what my dad worked hard for? Are you jealous OP of those who may inherit one day?

GiddyRobin · 06/02/2025 15:01

That's hilarious, OP.

Why on earth should it be banned? I recieved nothing because my parents had nothing. DH's dad died and left him a house in Norway, land, and a lump of money. Should I be jealous? We both lost our parents. He'd rather have his dad alive than an inheritance.

DH and I put a lump sum every month into an account for the DC, they'll be very well set up. They'll also inherit our cottage in England. I've been saving money for that deposit since I could even work, so had DH. Why shouldn't they get that? We earned it, we can choose what to do with it! Why should our kids have to go without just because others do?

EmeraldDreams73 · 06/02/2025 15:01

Everything is a lottery to some extent. It's unfair that some people grow up with rich/kind/abusive/whatever parents. Doesn't mean those with a good start should be penalised for it.

My parents' (very normal) home, which they've worked incredibly hard for their whole lives, paid all their taxes and never claimed benefits, is THEIRS.

I hope they piss it up the wall and have fun in their old age *because they've paid all their taxes and deserve that choice. However, they want very much to be able to leave something to me and my sibling when they're gone. If that happens, I'll be grateful but I will not feel guilty - their choices and sacrifices made that possible and it's what they want.

I too have made the same choices in order to try to gain some security for my own dc. No holidays or luxuries, but I've chosen to buy my (very small) home, paid all my taxes and taken pride in it. Damn right I'd like to be able to give my kids something to show for that.

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/02/2025 15:00

There are two arguments:

  1. Capitalist and self-serving and yes it's unfair that rich people get to give their kids a leg up while making money from the comodification of housing which keeps your kids poor. Solution: we need to tackle various investment and other systems that work BECAUSE they are skanking poor people.
  1. You want inheritance because it makes middle income people save. Which means they are cheaper in old age. Which means the massive burden on the tax structure is slightly less. Don't do that, you'll be paying for a lot more care homes while older people throw their money away on cruises. Rich people will find trusts and similar so their children still benefit.

But this thread will be full of frothing and nonsense about communism just like I suspect OP planned.

Lovelysummerdays · 06/02/2025 15:00

I do sort of agree with you. I won’t inherit anything, grew up
in a council flat with zero spare cash floating around. That said I own my home and plan on downsizing when everyone is post uni to give the kids a deposit for a home. My dc have opportunities I never had, they are currently on a ski holiday with their Dad. I didn’t even have a passport till I was 20!

Id be unhappy if having hustled hard to get myself on the property ladder I wasn’t able to help dc do the same.

yakamoza · 06/02/2025 15:00

It's unfair that some people have their parents and their money for a long time and some don't

While this is true, what is also true is that some people work a lot harder than some others. And, no, I am not saying that this applies to anyone on this thread or their parents but it is generally true. For example, we all know that there are people who work 12-14 hour days most of their lives while others are happy to live on the absolute minimum that the minimum effort would provide. So if the latter have nothing to leave to their kids, why should the former be penalised for that?

Taxes are unfair but they always have been. What I would agree with is that the government should make them at least a little fairer by closing the loopholes that the super wealthy 1% of the population use to avoid the taxes that the 99% can't do anything about.

Kuretake · 06/02/2025 14:59

Birdie280125 · 06/02/2025 14:58

Erm, I'm now working my arse off my whole life only to leave my saving to the tax man (who will distribute it to the lazy to&&£rs). I want to leave anything I can to by kids!

This doesn't make much sense to me. I'd rather keep more of my income now and invest it as I please and help people now than be taxed to buggery now then nothing when I die.

decorativecushions · 06/02/2025 14:59

Shall we cut off people's legs and botch their faces if they should dare to be born with height and good looks? Remove people's brain if they're born with intelligence?

That's where your logic gets you.

Life ain't fair. Swings and roundabouts. Some people are born stupid but with money. Others are born attractive and clever and with money. Others, sadly are built with nothing. That's just life. It sucks.

LindaDawn · 06/02/2025 14:59

Mielikki · 06/02/2025 14:49

What is the alternative?

Yes what is the alternative! Our councils can’t afford to spend anymore on social care. A few are already are going bankrupt !

XWKD · 06/02/2025 14:59

Why not make life equally shit for everyone? Would that be fairer?

Coconutter24 · 06/02/2025 14:58

If inheritance was abolished where does the deceased money go if not to who they choose?

Birdie280125 · 06/02/2025 14:58

Erm, I'm now working my arse off my whole life only to leave my saving to the tax man (who will distribute it to the lazy to&&£rs). I want to leave anything I can to by kids!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 06/02/2025 14:57

I agree that it’s very unfair, but I would never want 100% IHT. For a start, all governments are very good at wasting other people’s (taxpayers’) money, even when they’re not actually finding ways of siphoning it off to their friends and cronies.

Secondly, even if everyone started off equal, with a certain sum, some would prosper, others would soon have nothing, because they splurged or frittered it all away. Don’t we all know someone like that?

olivehater · 06/02/2025 14:57

Where do you draw the line then? What if they are 10 when their parents die. Do they get to keep it. Do we take it off them when they are 18?
What about the parents that choose to spend their money on their kids when they are alive? Private school. A car. A deposit for a house. Maybe they just help them out with their rent or buy their groceries. Or they give them nothing their whole lives and they you suggest they can’t leave an inheritance when they die.

I kind of think. The most unfair thing is some people lose all their money to care homes etc before they die and some don’t. That really is a lottery. A care home tax on everyone would even things up a bit.

Fairyliz · 06/02/2025 14:57

Blimey op are you struggling with your homework?

ILoveRadio6 · 06/02/2025 14:56

Inheritance is taxed. It's just rather complicated so not all inheritances are subject to it.

When my MIL died there was a £750k bill to pay.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 06/02/2025 14:56

You’d need to abolish gift giving too as the loophole to inheritance would be giving it away across your lifetime. So no presents Mr Cromwell.

user7421908523 · 06/02/2025 14:55

If you banned inheritance, I’d make sure I spent every damn penny rather than give it to the government!
There would be no incentive to work if we couldn’t leave it to children. There is also an element of making your own luck - we are an only children family so each generation has inherited. If you choose to have a big family, then it’s inevitable there is less inheritance.

bridgetreilly · 06/02/2025 14:55

Isn’t it unfair when people work hard and save all their lives and then the government step in and take it away so they can’t give it to their own children?

LoveItaly · 06/02/2025 14:55

As if we aren’t already slaves of the state enough, now you propose that we can’t even pass any of our hard earned assets on to our loved ones. Many countries don’t even have an inheritance tax like we do, but that’s still not enough for people like you. I would trust my inheritors much more than any government to spend my money wisely.

aei22 · 06/02/2025 14:55

Mirrorxxx · 06/02/2025 14:49

It does reinforce inequality. I really don’t understand why people are so against inheritance tax and I say that as someone who would be impacted by that. When I die I really don’t care what happens to my money

That is quite an unusual perspective, not caring what happens to your money when you die. I want my kids to have every single penny they possibly can when me and DH die.

Weddingbells6 · 06/02/2025 14:55

You’re forgetting that some people grow up doing nothing. No holidays, no nice / new clothes, no days out, cheap / crap / unhealthy food, no school trips, no car, no help to buy 1st car / get married / 1st house because their parents controlled the money and wanted to save instead of having any quality of life. Of course those people deserve to reap the benefits of that scrimping and saving when they were brought up with virtually nothing and it has an impact on their relationship, health etc.

Digdongdoo · 06/02/2025 14:55

Of course it's not "fair". But not much in life is. And very few start with an inheritance - most are middle aged I would think, and most don't inherit vast amounts. Tax it a bit, fine, target the mega rich, fine - but don't crush ordinary aspiration. If it's not worth working hard, people will stop working hard.

TunnocksOrDeath · 06/02/2025 14:54

It is fairly well established that good looking people are treated better and earn more, so I think it's unfair that I was born short and physically plain. I know I'd have had it much easier in many regards if I'd had good skin, symmetrical features and been 3 inches taller.
Maybe we should force everyone born tall and pretty to walk around in flat shoes with a bag on their head ?

OwlInTheOak · 06/02/2025 14:54

Why shouldn't people have the right to save money for their children? It's not their fault if other decide not to.