To be fuming about this work meeting?

just posting to show solidarity. I’ve been in many meetings where women make great points that are glossed over and men make really obvious points which are pounced on as being brilliant. Very frustrating. I do find it hard to navigate these things

“Thanks for your contribution Steve, I’ll take over from here”

The way to do it is to do it. Every time you do it, it gets easier.

Another way is to go completely silent, stare off into space then when he has finished, pick up exactly where you left off with no reference to anything he said. It's as if he didn't speak.

"Anyway, today we had a big meeting with senior management. Everyone had prepped, I had quite a bit to contribute because I’ve been working on a particular project for months. Meeting starts, and Steve IMMEDIATELY hijacks it. Every time I tried to speak, he either talked over me ..."

Steve, you need to stop interrupting and talking over me because I've been working on this project for months and I have quite a bit to contribute.

"or “helpfully” rephrased what I’d just said (but worse)."

Well, I prefer the way I said it as it's clearer and more accurate.

"At one point, I literally had my mouth open to respond to a question from the boss, and he just steamrolled in and answered for me – and he was WRONG."

Ms Boss, as you asked me the question, I'd like to respond with my own answer, particularly as Steve has explained it incorrectly.

Would Steve be venting after a meeting like this if roles were reversed? No. Steve doesn't care that much. Be more Steve. Be more assertive next meeting.

I don't understand why you didn't speak up?

OP I feel for you and I’ve seen it a thousand times a times as I work in a male dominated industry.

Steve was wrong, wrong, wrong and the senior people in the room should have nipped this in the bud.

But……I personally think as a woman in this situation you need to step in and say something. Others have suggested great things to say but it’s up to you to save yourself in this situation.

We can’t allow this type of behaviour to continue by sitting idly by and complaining about it after. Find your voice, know it’s important and say something.

Practice. Do some role play with a sympathetic colleague or friend.

Have a couple of lines to take ready.

Mine was to wait till the interrupter drew breath and then 'just to finish the point I was making' and then continuing to talk. The rude cow in question never interrupted me again.

You could also send round the slides or key discussion points beforehand so it’s clear you are the one who has done the work. A quick, ‘In advance of xxx meeting I’d just like to share my project update. I’ll be talking through the main points and welcome questions and comments at the end’. Then if Steve interrupts you can just say, ‘Thanks Steve, but I want to keep comments to the end to make sure we stay focused and don’t get sidetracked’.

There was a guy that was so bad, I just held up a sign (written on the back of a file folder) that said, Steve, please stop interrupting me and held it there until he noticed. Much sniggering ensued, and he didn't do it again in the meeting. I kept it pinned on my corkboard and brought it with me, and put it on top of the stack of papers I took with me. Never happened again.

Why didnt you speak up? If no one corrects him he will just carry on. He sounds fucking annoying.

There we are then.

You need to out Steve Steve
Come on woman!!!

Nah, not going to help Steve figure out when I'm finished, that's his learning opportunity.

A loud and confident:

'Steve I am currently speaking and I will let you know when I am finished' Whilst making direct eye contact.

EVERY SINGLE TIME

Mine was a Stevette 😀

Another tip for being in meetings with a Steve is to watch where he sits and sit directly opposite him. You will then be able to make eye contact with him when you politely shut him down. Sit up straight, Look him in the eye, smile and say - thanks Steve, as I was saying etc … much easier to shut them down when you can use body language too.

As a manager I had a team member who did this and I used this technique to ensure the rest of my team could speak, your manager might find this helpful .. Thanks Steve, we’d like to hear olegsyka‘s thoughts on this now.

It isn't being difficult or argumentative though to give the rest of the meeting the actual correct information, or for you to politely request to finish what you were saying. Would you think someone else was problematic if they used any of the calm, diplomatic lines people have suggested here? Of course not.
If you watched the most recent Traitors, Alexander gives a masterclass in how to manage the Steves of this world. He always appeared very calm and reasonable, while responding to others who were not. Lots of open body language, no raised voices, lots of clear communication about whatever the specific point was.

As I posted on a thread earlier this week, I had a colleague who did this.

I had just read an article about Margaret Thatcher that said that when she was interrupted in Parliament she would just go back to the start of her sentence and start again in a slightly louder voice. I decided if it was good enough for Parliament it was good enough for our work meeting. When he started talking over me I just did what Mrs. Thatcher did - I restarted my sentence in a slightly louder tone. After four or five goes I was pretty much roaring, my boss was visibly trying not to laugh, the meeting attendees were in shock, and the colleague looked very frustrated. He never talked over me again. I did not give a flying fig if I was rude, I was not being talked over like that, and I am normally a soft doormat too. I am sure you have much more gumption than I did or do, so maybe you could try that technique as well.

Apologies for the double posting but I couldn't edit out the strikethrough and it annoyed me to leave it there!

The only thing I'd add to the excellent advice from PP is to remain completely calm and your tone neutral when you're picking him up on his interruptions. Visualise him as a small child who is trying to get attention (because this is essentially what is going on). This will mean you sound reasonable and in control and emphasise the gap between your professional demeanour and his 'look at me' stance. Be calm, be polite, be firm. Fake the confidence if you need to. It sounds like you have every reason to BE confident so keep practising BEING it. Women are trained not to take up space but you can give yourself the permission to take up the space you deserve.

"You ladies shouldn't be worrying your pretty little heads with figures."

The only thing I'd add to the excellent advice from PP is to remain completely calm and your tone neutral when you're picking him up on his interruptions. Visualise him as a small child who is trying to get attention (because this is essentially what is going on). This will mean you sound reasonable and in control and emphasise the gap between your professional demeanour and his 'look at me' stance. Be calm, be polite, be firm. Fake the confidence if you need to but it sounds like you have every reason to BE confident so keep practising BEING it. Women are trained not to take up space permit yourself the freedom to take up the space you deserve.

Can people please stop with the Steve's.

Swap Steve for Karen & see how that makes you feel

^

😂

Good one