Feeling protective of my DC

That is very rude.

What exactly are your expectations of them? How much interaction do you expect them to have with your child? It’s difficult to tell how unreasonable you are being without knowing that.

I’d say Hello, comment on their toy or outfit, bring a packet of sweets for them and ask how they are but that’s about it. It’s incredibly annoying to have a child constantly interrupting adult conversation and their presence alone completely changes the feel of the gathering. I’d probably decline the invitation most times though as I don’t like socialising in people’s homes and even less so with a child present.

I’ve worked in childcare and I still don’t know what to say to kids and I’m not very fond of them.

Sorry, just seen child free by choice

I think they sound mean. Although, I am not sure whether they are child-free by choice or unable to have children of their own. Maybe if they are unable to have children of their own, there is some underlying hurt/resentment.

When my kids were younger, I didn’t take them to external adult things. However, I would expect general politeness to them, if you come to my home.

It's extremely selfish to not manage to be polite when in someone's house.

I don't mean they need to be down on their hands and knees playing choo-choo train, or get any where near a proffered half-chewed biscuit, but, saying hello, exchanging brief pleasantries is reasonable, whether the other party is your child or your grandmother.

Mind you, if they're really asking to see you a lot of weekends, that's also selfish, so I'd say that tracks.

TBH, I generally quite like kids - I prefer conversing to playing with them (even when small), but I can generally find something we can both talk about, even with a 2 year old. I'd start phasing these people out not because they don't like kids, but just because they're selfish and rude.

Imagine if we said this about any other age group. I mean very old people repeat themselves, forget what they said etc. Imagine some guests coming to your house and being horrifically rude to your own very elderly mother and justifying it as ‘I don’t like old people’ or ‘why is she in the living space’. That would be considered cruel or absurd.
OP’s not asking these people to play games with her kid. She’s asking for bare minimum small talk in a long visit to HIS OWN HOUSE. If you can’t do that then either don’t accept the invitation to the house that a child lives in or interact with people who have kids.

I think they are mean. I think a mix of adult only and child included is fine and is what you tried to do.
Unless your child is a totally spoiled, badly behaved very loud child I really don’t see the issue.
I like kids and find if you do acknowledge and respond they are frequently easily satisfied and are not nuisances. Little ones might get more demanding if they’re ignored as they’ve not yet learnt the social niceties. Neither have your friends.

Wow I must be from another planet to the majority of these posters then because I find this to be crazy and ridiculous! I was the last in my friendship group to have children so for years I would see all my closest friends whilst they had their newborns, toddlers in tow and I was childless, and it was never a problem. I love my friends and subsequently this extended to their children, so when I saw them I would likely also take them a little toy, bar of chocolate etc. As babies I would take them and play with them whilst my friends enjoyed a coffee and we chatted, and as they got older I'd sit and play with them. In turn, my friends are also like this with me now that I have a child. This behaviour is certainly normal with most people I know, for me the posters saying other people's children are annoying and they don't want to interact with them is crazy. Do they also not like their nieces, nephews etc?

This is not true. When I was child free I had no issue accommodating my friends' children. As my friends I am interested in their live.

When I visit other people I generally have to put up with scraggy ugly canines interacting with me, I much prefer children 😂

@DaisyChain505 you sound very unpleasant. You can not like children and still not be a dick to them. It doesn't take much effort to say hello and interact for 5 minutes.

If you really have such an unbridled hatred towards children, don't be friends with people who have kids.

I find that the opposite of true.

The childfree people I know LOVE kids, they are all proud self proclaimed 'aunts' of friends/families kids and many even work with child (primary school teachers etc...) despite this choose not to have their own siting that they are (again self proclaimed) 'selfish' and 'love their freedom and independence'. In fact I have regularly been told off for not bringing the kids 'their little besties' with me as I'm the one that wants a break from them.

On the flip side I'm a mother, I couldn't imagine a life without my kids and always wanted to be a mam BUT other peoples kids annoy the hell out of me most the time. While I love being a mam I am not in anyway an overtly child friendly person. I will smile and be polite (especially with babies, they're cute and harmless) but so often I just want to yell at someone 'parent your damn kid' when they are running around the coffee shop or such (like is no one worried about burns etc...) I just lack patients with that shit.

I honestly couldn't think of anything worse than being a teacher and watching other peoples kids all day (like several of my child free friends do). Its always amazed me the people I know who attract to careers and lifestyles of kids don't want them and those of us who have kids love our own but mostly aren't huge 'kid people'.

Not all parents think that to the extent that they can’t be sensitive about other people’s feelings.

And most people understand that, if you are accepting hospitality from someone, then it’s basic good manners to treat the other living beings in their home with respect; whether that’s an elderly person, a dog, or a child.

I would not expect someone to interact solely with my child for 20 mins but if my child was there finishing up their dinner or waiting for someone to take them out when my friends arrived, then I would expect my friends to tolerate their presence respectfully and be kind to them and yes, show a polite interest.

Children may be annoying sometimes but that’s because they haven’t yet learnt how to put other people’s feelings first. I wonder what excuse op’s adult friends have?

No one takes anyone seriously who goes around saying “I don’t like adults” so why should we respect the point of view of people who have decided that they dislike an entire slice of humanity?

And these friends may not like children themselves and that’s fine; but they can’t expect to impose that view on anyone else or those of us who have dc. If someone is a friend of mine; I expect them to respect my choices.

I like children. And rarely on here, I like plenty of other people’s children too. What’s not to like; they are energetic, creative and funny.

Op I had a female friend like this. She was so openly and publicly hostile when I announced my pregnancy that it was quite shocking. She was generally very sneering about my life choices too. I made the decision then and there that she was no longer friend material, but for some reason kept being polite on my side and inviting her to things. I should have dropped her then and there. Life is too short!

Child free people can be absolutely horrible about children. Like you were a child once and someone had to tolerate you. Children are humans who deserve the respect granted to adults. I have no time for people like this since having a child.

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Some people are very awkward around small children.

I was until I had kids.

Most people can manage a small amount of interaction with kids to be polite but some people really don't know what to say.

If they are otherwise good friends I wouldn't drop them over this.

It is generally considered socially unacceptable to say, for example, I find your small child loud and annoying and he gives me migraines. One is simply not permitted to say this no matter how much the parents ask you to be honest. You do have to infer from behaviour.

I thought you said it’s your child they ignore, not you. Are you actually saying they don’t talk to you when your child is there? Or is it that all your attention is on your child so you don’t really participate in the conversation? If the former then they aren’t your friends.