Feeling protective of my DC

They don't like children, they've been very clear about that and you continue to force interactions with your child then get annoyed at them. Stop taking your child to meet them, stop inviting them to your house.

If you can't then stop being friends. It's not that hard.

Exactly. Many people need to be reminded that children are, you know, people. Not blank screens for them to project their own sh*t.

YANBU. Yes, it's shocking but unfortunately it's common. They reenact what was done to them when they themselves were children. Pity them. I would personally stop inviting them to your home: relationships evolve, you can find other ways to keep the relationship that feels right to you.

I've never met you but just from reading your posts on here i can say you are more annoying than most kids i know.... Just saying, end of.

Hmm...so his behaviour probably is a bit annoying.

As a child I remember having to go with mum to see her friends, and it was quite boring, but I had to read a book or otherwise entertain myself.

Sounds like your child is getting bored and is used to lots of your attention, so both he and your friend want attention from you.

I'd leave your son with his dad if you like this friend and just have adult time.

All children are annoying are they?

At what age do they magically become acceptable to you?

Yes that is plain rude OP - I wouldn't see them as friends

I have plenty of friends who were never wanting to have kids, who really felt uncomfortable around them yet still behaved like normal people - talked to them and actually found their opinions about childen changed all the time ( not that they wokd want any themselves but they could start to see them as mini humans )

YANBU. I don't find other people's children annoying at all. The UK is a weird country that doesn't like children. It's not the kind of attitude people have in Italy.

Not this again. There are literally hundreds of boards which don’t directly relate to children. It’s a great resource for women whether or not they have or want children.

Anyone that could be rude to a child is an arsehole in my opinion.

And you’re on Mumsnet? 🙄 Also, massive generalisation there about everyone thinking their kids are the best thing since sliced bread.

Well yes they can talk to their Mother of course but it is irritating when they are constantly interrupting what is supposed to be an adult gathering hence why I said that I’d decline.

And yes adults can be annoying too but I can generally have a reasonably intelligent conversation with them and they don’t tend to fire their drink or toy across the room, throw themselves down on the ground and kick and scream or smear half chewed biscuits over my clothing.

It’s generally not their fault because it’s a developmental stage but that doesn’t stop me from finding them annoying and I don’t care to spend more time with children than is necessary.

But for OP and her son’s sake I’d cut down considerably on the number of occasions they meet because her friends aren’t being fair or realistic to OP.

I’m as childfree as they come and don’t enjoy the company of children but I still wouldn’t be rude to another person and a family in their own home. It’s just basic manners to say hello and interact for a short while.

I think your friends are being unreasonable.

They sound dreadful OP and not your friends. No idea why you have tolerated them for so long especially with their behaviour in your home! My friend’s mum sometimes stay with her and is there occasionally when I visit. She is difficult but I still make small talk and show an interest in her for 10 minutes or so because it’s just polite to do so.

YANBU, I expect my friends to be polite to my child too and have a bit of interaction.

I have a friend who HATES children but since my DD was born she sends her gorgeous jumpers for Christmas and birthday, it's their special thing and DD bloody loves them, and when she comes to visit she is lovely to her. I make sure we have kid free time together when we can but when DD was a baby and I BF her she totally understood that wasn't possible and she'd muck in.

Even as someone who likes kids, some of my friends kids are utterly annoying but I'm always nice to them.

By any chance could this be because their view and his view on how much attention he should be getting differs to their view?

I’d say this was the crux of my issues with my friend’s child….

A couple of minutes saying hi blahblah was my limit as I was there to see her. Her view/his view was that I was there as his entertainment for the afternoon.

Why should she pander to them in the child's own house? Anyone who doesn't like other people's kids should just not visit, and certainly not expect the whole routine to revolve around their personal hang-ups! Why do Brits dislike kids so much? Compare it to the bliss of being in Spain or Italy with a child, because most people there genuinely like them.

@HoldingTheDoor maybe the child is irritating but one is allowed to speak to one’s parent (interrupting is rude) in one’s own house however many times one wants to. If DH had friends over and they demanded I make myself invisible I would not be impressed. So unless OP’s friend declines the invitation (which they clearly didn’t), this is not polite behaviour.
We always assume kids are annoying. Frankly I know far far far more annoying adults than children.

People talk about annoying kids on public transport. Same thing. I see far far more inconsiderate adults (playing music without headphones, being inconsiderate) than I do children.

Agree with this! Not wanting to be around kids all the time is fine but actively hating them and refusing even the smallest amount of engagement is very odd to me. Big red flag in anyone!

I couldn't be friends with people who can't make a bit of effort with a child. I'm not sure if I'm just lucky but I thought it was normal to be caring and polite with children and vulnerable people. Only on MN do I witness such harsh comments about children and similarly with disabled children and adults.

I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who actively disliked children. It tells me a lot about the type of person they are.

Its like saying I don't like people full stop!

I'm childfree by choice and have had a lot of interaction with friends kids (most now fully grown and we're on the the GC) over the years. I can understand not wanting to socialise at soft play on a weekly basis for eg, but there is no excuse for being rude/cold to a child, especially in their own home.

Actually, my other childless friends seem to feel the same as me and actually like kids. We might not have wanted our own but understand that others do and it is totally natural they become the focus of a lot of their lives. Also, there's nothing wrong with being a small human, we all were!

And yes, your friends are being ridiculously unrealistic expecting you to commit to every weekend. That isn’t fair or reasonable.

Surely your friends realise you can't go out every weekend if you have a small child?!?!

Why not just agree to seeing them once a month (without your child)?

I think that's horrible behaviour.

Children are people...ok, most of us wouldn't actively choose to have a long conversation with a random toddler not related to us, but general politeness and kindness doesn't go amiss.

I think your friends views are a bit extreme - I do think it's normal to have a bit of flexibility to maintain a friendship once one friend has a child, for example if they come over and kids aren't in bed yet it's not unreasonable to be polite to them for 20 mins. I have friends that openly hate children, but they will still make effort with mine if we've arranged something where they have to be present for some or all of it.

I don't ever presume children are welcome at friend get togethers, even with other friends with children - we always clarify beforehand, and I will give a heads up if I can't be child free which gives the other person the option to decline or rearrange. Sometimes I myself don't want the kids there and will stipulate I want to make sure I can find a sitter before organising!

Even though I have kids myself I often can't stand other people's kids 🤣 and especially if they are particularly annoying, I can't have a proper catch up if they are there. I'm just more assertive and if I want a decent catch up I'll just say, I'd love to catch up properly without the kids so we can actually have a conversation, when are you next child free etc.

If you want to keep the friendship I'd just not see this friend with your child there. Equally, if you feel the friendship isn't worth maintaining because you now have children and they don't tolerate them, it's also perfectly reasonable to phase them out. Priorities change and so do friends sometimes once you hit motherhood.