To think children shouldn't be swearing in primary school

That’s just a lazy excuse. Schools (and parents) should deal with poor language. It wasn’t acceptable when I was at school and shouldn’t be now.

They are just words though. Frankly schools have bigger concerns.

It may be in some schools - it wasn’t at DT’s. It was clamped down on. It wasn’t acceptable at school or at home. DT’s and their friends didn’t swear even if they knew the words.

Agree.

The school DCs attended was a private (RC) elementary.

deprioritisng it doesn't help

My DCs went to an elementary school where there was zero tolerance for swearing or using coarse language in speech (in the US). Parents would be called to a serious conference if it happened more than once.

I consider such a rule a very basic part of establishing a positive school environment.

I’m a teacher. The kids sometimes swear, we have a word of course and explain it’s not appropriate for school but it’s low on the list of concerns to be honest and ultimately just words they have overheard.

Primary schools can and do have consequences for children swearing but they can't stop the words actually coming out of their mouths. So, yes, it shouldn't happen but yes, it will.

In my school, the punishment is usually 10 minutes' time out and we will notify parents. I've been called a cunt by a 5 year old!

No. Swearing has always happened in primary schools. It's not about whether there's a reason or justification for it. Kids push boundaries, try to get a reaction, and enjoy saying things among themselves that they know wouldn't be allowed in front of adults. It is normal behaviour. If it is done within earshot of a teacher, kids will usually get in trouble for it. It's unbelievably naïve to think that primary school children don't swear! The aggressive attitude to your son is a different matter though, and yes school should be dealing with it.

My parents were pretty liberal in a lot of respects but swearing was very limited to shit/bugger/damn and only in appropriate contexts - ie you hit your thumb with a hammer/fall over the cat/cut yourself..

Really did not hear swearing in the playground in primary school ('84 onward) with the odd exception which was obviously where a kid had heard it, repeated it for effect/to try it out, got a bollocking from a teacher/dinnerlady and stopped. Certainly did not hear children directing it at one another aggressively, it'd just be the odd giggle and whispering and then an 'I dare you' to say it out loud at which point they'd be caught because little children are no where near as subtle as they think they are.

So I don't agree that they must be hearing it at home - they could just as easily be hearing it from other kids. Equally, just hearing it at home does not automatically equate to using it at school, it is possible to teach kids about context!

Primary children swear at school because they hear it at home. If they don't hear it they don't do it.

I had a five year old foster child once who used to come out with words like 'fucking slag' and 'bitch'. Took him all of three weeks to stop using those words after he moved in with us. Children are a reflection of their home life.

I'm shocked some people think it's okay to use swearing in the playground. My DS age 5 told a kid had taught him some
"Bad words" but he wasn't allowed to say them. I asked him to whisper them just once to me and they were bad bitch and fuck off.

I was pretty gutted my 5 year old had learnt about swear words already! I mentioned it to the teacher who said he's aware and deals with it with the other child at the time

It might seem over the top but the school isn’t overly strict. But they do have behaviour under control and have good results etc so I agree with something they’re doing in their behaviour management.

There's a huge difference between swearing and using language aggressively towards people. I find it very hard to believe all these people claiming not to have known what swear words meant in late primary - I'm 57, went to a nice friendly school in the Netherlands and by Yr6 I absolutely knew what those words were, what they meant and when they could and could not be used.

We always taught our kids never to swear 'at' people, but that there was nothing wrong with saying 'fuck that hurts' if they had hurt themselves. Because that isn't aggressive towards anyone. They're perfectly functional young adults now.

Swearing at school was always a hard no though, I hope the school sorts this out.

Swearing has becoming completely and utterly normalised. Whether or not you think that is good or bad, right or wrong, the effect of that is when you want to escalate an argument, or even use language to shock, there is nowhere to go; you've used up all your ammo.

I think it would be brilliant to denormalise swearing, but I guess that boat has sailed, largey due to mainstream media like the BBC who choose to stuff it down our throats in every drama.

God I feel old sometimes.

Eh? The upper echelons are full of degenerates

I am not surprised primary aged kids swear but I am surprised that schools don't do anything about it.

My kids' primary school definitely would have dealt with that and there would have been consequences for swearing.
It seems odd for the school to say they can't do anything about it.

In your case, OP, it definitely sounds like bullying if it is happening regularly to your child and the swearing is aggressive in nature.
I would definitely be contacting the school about this & wanting to see some action taken.

For me it depends on extent and how it’s used. If used abusively, not ok. We had one girl giving people a tirade of abuse. Quite embarrassing for her parents at the time. And not appropriate at all. I thought at the time that no 11 year old should have this directed at them.

My DD went to a girls prep and absolutely no swearing. It’s tolerated by some people who don’t know any better and it’s awful parenting.

I've taught 4 year olds who were no stranger to telling people to fuck off. If that's what they hear at home...

My DC went to a top, very middle class state primary that parents fought to get into and there was swearing in the playground.

Many of their classmates went on to top universities, including Cambridge and Edinburgh, so it clearly doesn’t turn them all into degenerates…

I agree with you, OP. Children shouldn't be swearing in primary school (and no, not all children do it) but it's often learnt at home and the parents don't see a problem with it.

I remember a colleague telling a parent that their child had sworn at another teacher at the end of the day and the parent turned to the child (in front of the teacher) and said, "I thought I'd told not not to fucking swear at school!"

As for what we can do about it.

Well, we can remind them of the expectations, talk to them about appropriate language/behaviour, give them warnings, take 5 mins off their breaktime (this can be increased depending on age to a maximum of 12 minutes) and we can tell their parents.

There is literally nothing else we can do. For any misdemeanour.

There is plenty of context needed such as the age and understanding of the child, the background and family situation, where it happened, who heard it, was it in aggression, what was said etc etc. The consequence obviously will vary. I have never heard of a teacher who ignores and doesn't reprimand swearing in some way. However it would be naive to think that this prevents a child swearing. The best that can be hoped for is that they moderate their language according to context and audience.