Aibu to want men to walk in front

I’ve known men cross the road in that situation rather than risk a woman being scared. Obviously not always possible.

op is take issue with you saying it’s a „you thing“ it’s not it’s a legitimate fear. If men didn’t attack women you wouldn’t have the fear.

I just stop, pretend to be looking at my phone, let them get past, and carry on. No drama, no fuss.

How many men, do we think, have any idea that women worry about this? All the time?

I took my car into the garage this morning, and walked home at around 8.45 am (so light, people around walking past, 2 schools to walk past, and near two busy roads). But I still had to cross over as there was a bloke walking behind me, very close and it just made me feel so uncomfortable.

I doubt, very much, that anything was going to happen, given the circumstances described above - but I just think it's hard-wired to be supersensitive to the situation around us.

I wouldn't walk in the countryside anymore without my dog (he's big).

Nearly all men are self-aware enough to know that walking behind a woman can be seen as intimidating. Some however enjoy that feeling; some seem to be bloody-minded "I'm not a predator, so why are you treating me as such" (the very fact you approach this with a confrontational mindset makes you a dick); and some will give you a half smile or a hello, go past and be normal.

I don't think that's fair at all.

It's tricky when you're out walking and start catching up to a lone woman.

Approaching and overtaking can be seen as threatening, especially as you are catching up. But hanging back and staying behind them is equally threatening

However, if they stop to let you past, then not going past is extremely creepy.

I can't even tolerate my DP walking behind me, let alone a stranger.
I was walking my dogs through some woods recently, with wide tracks, and a man appeared as if by magic, almost on my heels, made me jump! He was so quiet, even the dogs didn't hear him.
I'm always trying to be aware of other people when I'm dog walking, one dog is prone to chasing other dogs, and the other makes a pest of himself jumping up at people, so I put them on the leads whenever I see someone.
He did apologise, and overtook, but why he was literally walking in my footsteps is beyond me.

You don't need to engage with them, just stop and wait for them to pass. If I'm walking somewhere with a narrow path I make sure there is nobody behind me before I go up there and keep looking around so that it's unlikely someone can innocentely sneak up on me. It's better to be proactive about my own safety rather than put the onus on men to magically know what I'm thinking and feeling.

People might say "why should I have to modify my behaviour to feel safe" which is fair enough, but a man could reasonable respond to that by saying why should he have to modify his behaviour to second guess what someone else is thinking and feeling. Most men in most situations aren't actively on the lookout for a woman to attack, they're just going about their normal lives.

The thing to remember is, the men who are out to attack us are not going to care about our feelings. Saying "I'd be more comfortable if you went in front" to such a man would just embolden him.

Yes, this. And no need to pretend to tie your shoelace or anything, just stand aside and wait for them to pass. Some men are blithely ignorant of being perceived as a potential thread. It’s like manspreading or hogging a shared armrest — a completely failure to consider what their physical being might be doing to impact on others.

I often stop and let men pass if they're walking behind me. Pretend to tie your lace, use your phone, play with your dog and let them go in front.

You might find the Hollieguard app reassuring.

I suppose they can’t help being behind you on the path if that’s the direction you’re all going in and they set out later than you did. Usually I’d just step aside myself and let them walk on ahead, if it bothers me.

If a stranger is stopping when you stop to do that and refusing to walk on by, then that’s weird: that’s the sort of behaviour that you need to report to the police.

I've always hated people (anyone) walking behind me so I've stopped walking so they have had to walk on.

PS in parks, outside I mean