Aibu to want men to walk in front

Maybe they don’t like ppl walking behind them either!

Yes. 'Tis true. Psychology 101.

It's not but OK

Feeling ostracised, feeling hard done by, feeling victimised are all reasons people move towards extremism

I have to admit when I'm out with the dog and I see a bloke I always look to see if he has a dog and feel myself relax a bit when he does

I realise a man with a dog could be a bad un as well but way less likely.

I don't want to make anyone feel bad and I realise the vast majority of men are good and decent but I still feel tense and on alert whenever I am out and about and nobody else is around except a bloke. My stupid bloody dog who is super friendly and loves all people often starts trying to drag me towards bloke to say hello and I have to just go with it or risk looking like a weirdo. I mean it's fine if he's got a dog but if he doesn't then the dog is making me do the complete opposite to what I want to do.

I did have a bad experience in my younger days when I man refuse to let me leave a train station. It was 11pm on a Sunday night and the train was busy but I must have been one of the last people to get off. You had to go up stairs to get out to the street and all of a sudden the lights were going off on the platform and a bloke had blocked my access to going up. I honestly think he was contemplating dragging me back down to the platform and raping me. He eventually let me past and I ran all the way to the bus stop and thankfully a bus came soon after. I never got a late night train again.

I do wonder if my next dog will be something big and protective rather than the small, fluffy mutt I currently have who would attempt to protect me for sure but would likely be injured quite easily.

Sorry but that is total bollocks @FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly

Paranoia which is only heightened by threads like this where there's an echo chamber of "men are bad"

The fact is, men are the ones who should be more wary of men walking behind them
Men are more at risk of some random man attacking them.

A man out walking is not a risk. Men should not be treated as a risk. Treating men as inherently a risk is more likely to push "good" men towards MRA feelings and groups because they can't just go about their lives without being called a creep etc just because they are doing something as normal as walking!

I know @Willoo - just goes to show how deeply ingrained it is, doesn't it?

I’ve never been concerned when there is someone walking behind me especially in daylight. I’d never leave the house if I were.

I usually just stop, stand side-on with my hand to one side to sort of indicate for them to come through and say something like "Do go ahead, you're a bit faster than me!" - never had an issue doing this.
If it's not entirely clear that you're letting someone through, they might be stopping in preference to carrying on walking and getting even closer to you on a narrow path. I've definitely 'hung back' before to avoid being uncomfortably close to other walkers who I assume have, like me, gone out alone for a bit of solitude.

It is the shit partners/ ex partners that they are most at risk from. The survival instincts obviously are not that great.

What you are talking about is paranoia ins 99.9999999999% of cases

My sons do this. I have told them that they are not to do it if crossing or taking the alternative path puts them in a more risky situation themselves. I do appreciate their awareness though. Maybe they've heard me talk to their sisters?

When I'm out, I'm wary of women too. They might be smaller but they can carry weapons and you only need to read the news to hear of some of the crimes women get involved in. I check out everyone around me but don't avoid isolated areas.

Many years ago, ,I worked in a now defunct prison for unaccompanied male asylum seekers. There was a slightly intimidating feel about the place as a lot of the male prison workers were as verbally and occasionally as violent in their behaviour as the prison inmates. Outside of work, I joined a mixed martial arts club. I learnt a useful range of things to do if I felt intimidated (or was actually attacked) whilst at work. I never needed to use this knowledge, but it gave me the confidence to feel able to work there.

My DF is 85, has cancer, walks with a stick, weighs about 8 stone, and is from an era when men could and would step in to defend women without fear or censure from women themselves. Men like him are now made to feel not only useless, but part of the problem. He's a vulnerable old man, and I think you'd feel just as vulnerable walking alone if you were him.

Why can't we have a discussion about how certain issues impact men?

Is it really wrong to discuss the issue from a man's point of view and to discuss what decent (ie most) men should do in situations where women feel vulnerable?

Imagine discussing this issue in a group of people (men and women).
Your "won't someone think of the menzzz" is akin to a man saying "yes, I'm aware that me just walking down the road minding my own business can make some women nervous" and you yelling Shut Up at him as if he has no right to say anything or even an opinion because he can't possibly understand.

Oh, won't someone think of the menzzz!!!

Slightly beside the point, but I had a dodgy encounter with a guy who walked past me and then slowed down so I ended up having to interact with him. You can't win.

I run a lot in the woods and would say that if someone didn’t pass you when you stopped then you are right to be concerned . I would personally vary my routine for a while .

I often wonder if some women's insistence that men are not a danger and that we are all paranoid is a form of denial

Except nobody has said "men are not a danger".

What people are saying is that they don't generally feel worried or concerned when they meet a man out and about.

I often wonder if some women's insistence that men are not a danger and that we are all paranoid is a form of denial

I don't think anyone has insisted that no men are a danger, but that they have weighed up the risk and made an informed decision on how they are going to go about their lives.

When people step aside expecting you to walk ahead of them it looks like they think you are being impolite and if I ever thought they didn't think that I've thought they were being impolite.

Eh? The second 1/2 of this sentence doesn't make sense to me.
I wouldn't regard someone stepping aside as impolite. Rather it's the courteous thing to let faster people past. Of course if they huff and puff and pin themselves to the wall or something then that's different.

Some of the defensive responses on this thread really are sad. Of course it's not ALL men, but it's almost alWAYS men. Statistically women just do not commit violent crime at the same rate or pose the same threat as men do. Of course it isn't all men, but how are women supposed to know whether a man approaching from behind is one of the safe men or one of the predatory ones? It is basic common sense to be wary, and common sense to want to keep a potential threat in front of you where you can see it.

Yes men are at greater risk of violence than women. From whom though? That's right, other men. Aggressive predatory men are a threat to both men and women. Decent men, rather than feeling resentment towards women for being wary of them, should perhaps direct their ire towards other men. More men calling out thwir peers for misogynistic attitudes towards women is something that would have a huge impact.

It is interesting that several comments on this thread have been from men saying they completely understand why women might feel unsafe at night and that they always try to be considerate and put women at ease. A lot of the 'you're all unreasonable man haters' comments have been from women.

I often wonder if some women's insistence that men are not a danger and that we are all paranoid is a form of denial; it is scary to admit that it's something that can happen to any woman, that there is very little any woman can do to control or prevent it, so easier to convince themselves we're all just paranoid. No-one is suggesting you live your life terrified and never leaving your house, but the fact is women are at risk from men and that an awareness of your surroundings and potential dangers could end up saving your life. If you are lucky enough to never have had an unpleasant encounter with a man you are the exception not the rule.

No wonder you feel spooked. I have only ever had such a thing when they haven't seen me. I have also never done that as a fast walker and a runner. It would slow my pace for starters.

This is a really good point. I am uncomfortable with men walking behind me (especially when I want to zone out or listen to music on a walk) and always let them pass.

However, I’m quite tall myself so I would avoid walking close behind another woman too as it’s not always easy to see who people are when bundled up on dark winter days.

Maybe men just don’t realise - but I think most women instinctively feel uneasy