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AIBU?

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Original poster

Saw dh phone

232 replies

rufiooooo · 06/02/2025 07:56

Dh and I have a very irregular sex life. Posted about it many times here before. He claims low libido and takes Viagra for ED. I have tried not to make an issue out of it and have compromised on once a month, tried to be understanding as I believed he had anxieties around sex and it was just a case of mismatched libidos. We otherwise have a good relationship, small dc and get on well.

I just saw an alert pop up on his phone saying that his only fans subscription hasn't gone out due to him having a new card. I am absolutely gutted. I have told him he might want to look at sorting his card out as his OF payment of £14.95 hasn't come out. I said it's great to know you have no libido to have a healthy sex life with your wife but you can happily pay strangers on the internet.

We are both off work today and I really don't know what to do. Where do I go from here?

OP posts:
TheAzureSwan · 06/02/2025 08:04

Im sorry OP but he is getting his sexual gratification from other woman, not you. He is cheating on you.
The marriage would be over for me.

nellythe · 06/02/2025 08:03

Sorry but this would be the end of the road for me.
You are a woman with needs that aren’t being met but you have been understanding and patient as any good spouse would be. To find that he is obviously experiencing sexual urges but preferring to spend money (! Ick!!!) on using those urges on strangers is just sickening.
He’s a liar 🤥

Calamitousness · 06/02/2025 08:01

I couldn’t tolerate my husband watching OF. I know everyone’s different but it’s a massive No from me.
My husband wouldn’t though I have to add. He thinks it’s rank.

Original poster
rufiooooo · 06/02/2025 08:01

Porkyporkchop · 06/02/2025 08:00

Did he give you a reaction ?

Just sort of put his head down because he knows he's been caught out and there's not a lot he can say or do.

OP posts:
Original poster
rufiooooo · 06/02/2025 08:00

Theflameislit · 06/02/2025 07:57

Aside from sexual, what’s the relationship like?

Ok. Stressful. We have young dc and no help. With the pressures of kids and work we perhaps don't make as much time for each other as we should. I've said before how we sometimes feel more like roommates than a married couple.

But the sex issue has been ongoing for so long. No communication from his side which I put down to him feeling embarrassed about his ED issues. No spontaneous sex due to him having to pop a pill in advance. But I tried to be understanding and accepted that this was just how it was. To find out he actually do have a libido and is choosing to use it elsewhere is very painful.

OP posts:
Porkyporkchop · 06/02/2025 08:00

Did he give you a reaction ?

Theflameislit · 06/02/2025 07:57

Aside from sexual, what’s the relationship like?