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Original poster

Was I love bombed? Please help

31 replies

Mum2two99 · 05/02/2025 22:23

I'm 31, have 2 kids from my ex with 10 year so I'm not new to heartbreak, but this had me completely blindsided and I feel devastated and stupid.

My boyfriend who I've been seeing 1.5 year just ended it over the phone and blocked me.

He lives over and hour away so I go his most weekends.
We always have a great time, he is very affectionate, always dancing and singing to me, compliments me every time he sees me, treats me like a princess etc etc. Acts like he is happy basically, tells me he loves me every day, phones to say goodnight. So obviously I couldn't be much happier in this relationship, he's taken me weekends away and buys me gifts i dont want, his family are lovely and all should be great. We talk about living together, he bought a house which we've been renovating together with the plan on us all living there one day, my kids adore him.
I feel soo stupid right now that I let myself believe I could be happy with this man.

I came here for advice but read about love bombing,
I hope I'm wrong, I've only noticed fully the last few weeks when we've been argueing over the phone about things that wernt making much sense, I assumed he was stressed with work and at the weekends he still seemed normal and happy so I didn't want to bring it up. He took this as me avoiding it aparently which then caused another discussion about it in which I apologied but that only ended in him insulting me and hanging up.

Anyway I try to brush it off, we have a nice weekend and come Monday again he's making snarky comments on the phone. I ask him if there's something bothering him could he please explain what's wrong because I'm confused you seemed fine yesterday.. then I just recieve a whole mouthful how he wasn't fine at the weekend and I should have noticed and I'm just like everyone else who doesn't actually care! I was a bit gobsmacked, we argued some and then he said its not working, messaged me sorry its done and blocked me...

There have definately been other red flags along the way, but I never believed it because I thought he could do no wrong as he was so good to me 90% of the time. I could go on but I've written losds!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mum2two99 · 05/02/2025 22:45

I don't know whether to be worried about him or not, it was all so sudden I never thought he could possibly ghost me. But if he was some kind of narcissist or playing me I feel so stupid even wasting my time on him, I've helped him out lots with work on his house for months, taking care of his dog etc it's all bizarre how it ended, I'm still quite hurt I could go see him but I see little point driving up there.

OP posts:
WigglyVonWaggly · 05/02/2025 22:41

He sounds like an absolute nightmare! It really shouldn’t be this difficult to have adult communication with a partner. The sulking, silent treatment, walking out of places, putting the phone down and even his mum mentioning his moodiness are all really unappealing. He can’t treat people like that: it’s appalling. Be glad to be rid of him.

Original poster
Mum2two99 · 05/02/2025 22:38

I honestly think I just made it easy for him, because I've only had 1 serious relationship previously that went wrong, I basically took fault in all arguements we've had as its just easier. So although we don't argue much in our relationship everyone we've had has been how I've basically let him down somehow, he got jealous over texts from my ex about the kids (which we talked through) he got annoyed once when his mum was talking to me about his 'moods'... that arguement caused him to leave the restaurant we were in and me also and return to the hotel. It hurt me a lot and he made a scene and never felt bad about it. A red flag I ignored because he was drunk so I let it slip. Also I've had a lot of silent treatments, he hangs the phone immediately or just walks out the house for no reason.

All these I just shrugged off because going off my ex who wouldn't work and isn't the best dad, this man was amazing with my kids, and made the relationship exciting.. again another red flag I suppose

OP posts:
StarsBeneathMyFeet · 05/02/2025 22:30

It’s possible. Buying you unexpected gifts and planning a future together only to withdraw it and make you think you’re going mad.
This is a helpful guide - see if it rings true:

Crushed23 · 05/02/2025 22:29

My understanding is that lovebombing is when someone showers you with love and affection in the early stages of the relationship to reel you in, then when you become somewhat dependent on them they turn controlling / abusive.

It doesn't sound like that's the case here? It seems like he just went off you/the relationship and decided to end things. I'm sorry, I hope you can move on from it swiftly.

WigglyVonWaggly · 05/02/2025 22:27

What’s his family background? He sounds like he’s desperate for love and attention and pulls away if he feels a partner might not be giving it to him. YANBU - he’s not stable enough for a relationship. He needs to work on his issues.