To not get up with husbands 5am alarm?

OP, you don't mention your age, just that you have teenagers, but broken sleep (you mention sometimes waking at 4am) and waking for the loo could be perimenopause. Localised oestrogen means I don't wake for the loo any more and HRT gives me a much better night's sleep.

How does he feel at the end of day after getting up so early? I often have to get up an hour or so before DH, am quiet, well so I think, but of course DC hear and may wake up. When I get home I'm fortunate to sometimes have an hour downtime to just decompress from the day, he wfh and has more time during a less busy day to do some housework, have a nap and prep meals so it's give and take. Xx

This. With today's technology there is no excuse for a noisy alarm.

White noice machine. Blocks everything out. Couldn't sleep without mine

He needs to be more mindful.

On the days I get up at 4:45 to go the gym before work; I prep the night before.

• Leave my clothes downstairs
• Have a very quiet alarm that I immediately switch off
• only use my phone screen for light.

Then I creep out of the bedroom like a mouse.

Main thing is having everything sorted the night before. So I’m not fiddling about in the bedroom looking for stuff.

Could you try getting up and settling on the sofa with a blanker with tea/coffee and breakfast for an hour. It would probably be nicer to doze there with a book, or you phone than drop back into a deep sleep for under an hour then be yanked awake.
My preferred morning is with about 3 hours pottering/sofa slumps before I do anytime productive, I hate getting up and going straight out. (I can DO it, I just don't like it!)

You can get alarms that gave a vibrating thing you put under your pillow.

Where are you all getting your earplugs from that they keep alarm noise out. Feel like I've tried them all but they're all a bit shit. Or I've got mega (annoying) hearing

He just needs to get a vibrating alarm, he can wear it on wrist, it won't wake you, it's a tot game changer

You'll get used to it. My husband got up at 4.30 for years, when I had my alarm for 6. He was good at silencing it right away, and creeping out of the room in the dark. He would leave his clothes in another room. I would often sleep through, and if I woke it was easy to nod back off.

Wake up at 5 but have DH bring you a coffee in bed before he leaves so your up but still relaxed and resting

Seperate bedrooms or separate beds.

I can relate OP. I’m a light sleeper which means I struggle to drop off, wake frequently with any noise, struggle to go back to sleep again. If I’m not laid down on a bed in silence in the dark it’s not possible for me to sleep, I’ve not had a nap in 30 years and I’ve never fallen asleep without a good hour or so concerted effort on my part.

I can’t wear earplugs either, so currently I get to bed on average 12.45am, get to sleep between 1.30-2am, usually get woken 2-3 times by snoring and get up for the day at 6.50am. I know it’s not 5am but there’s no way of me going to bed earlier.

It’s an absolute mindfuck and so annoying. I wake up if my partner gets out of bed. I wake up if he turns over in bed. I wake up if any door opens or closes in the house so if anyone gets a glass of water or needs a wee I’m awake and there are five of us. I wake up if it’s not blackout dark. I wake up if the dog barks or the cat miaows and they are locked downstairs. I wake up if my partner snores in the spare room so it’s no good him going there. I wake up too hot and I wake up too cold. I get it entirely! I wish I could be more useful so I’m following for ideas.

@40andtryingtoimprove

"we go to bed at 10pm as have teenage dc so can’t go any earlier."

Why not? They're certainly capable of getting themselves to bed on their own and are 'trustworthy' enough not to burn down the house. Ours often went to bed after we did, but they were usually upstairs in their rooms after supper anyway.

Caveat: this was when internet was dial up, our computer was downstairs and password protected, and no such things as smartphones. I'd like to think that I'd still have been able to trust them.

Sympathies OP! I have the same problem with my DP. I wear headphones at night and listen to my podcasts as earplugs wouldn't wake me up for my own alarm and if DP is already away to work there's no one there to make sure I'm awake when I'm supposed to be. My alarm plays through my headphones so always wakes me

I wake frequently through the night and often my last wake is only an hour or so before his alarm goes off and I get (unnecessarily) crabbit and jealous about him having slept all the way through and me running on exhaustion for the entire day. Till bedtime and it happens all over again

The only earplugs I can wear are these. They are really small so fit women better and very soft. Don't push them in too far so they hurt.

amzn.eu/d/gvDYM22

If you are being woken at 5am and it takes you half an hour to get back to sleep, your alarm is waking you mid sleep cycle (which are about 1 and half hours normally). Hence you feel awful.

Best thing is a spare room if you have one, single or separate beds, ear plugs and asking your husband to get dressed in another room. The watch with a buzz alarm is a good idea.

It may be worth taking a magnesium tablet before bed, I find that it puts me in a deeper sleep so you may be less likely to wake up.

And then get up at 6 and put the already prepped dinner in the oven...

Posted too early!

You might feel better getting up at 5am when it gets lighter in the mornings, get stuff done in the morning before work rather than in the evenings then go to bed at 9pm even if it's just to read or relax and sleep by 10pm. 10-5 is 7h and that's enough sleep for an adult, you might just need to give your body time to get used to it.

If no other suggestions work why not do that?
Get up early and perhaps prep dinner. So when you get home at 4:30 you have a Power Nap. Think of it like a Spanish siesta. So you get an extra dose of sleep.

My husband uses his silent vibrating Alarm on his smart watch. He makes sure he gets ready in a different room. He gets all his stuff out ready the night before

Similar here plus snoring so earplugs and separate rooms for us