Telling people they're powerless over alcohol/substances is dangerous

I think you have to look at genetics in your family and if you see people have addiction problems then maybe don’t ever drink, take drugs, gamble etc

I think it is extremely hard to say no to something if you are a teen surrounded by your peers all saying to partake in what they are doing

And it takes a lot of will power to then realise that things are getting out of control and to stop

Friends who have realised that the amount of alcohol they were drinking wasn’t good for them have cut down but they all found that doesn’t work and soon the amount crept up.

Cutting out and not down was the only thing that worked

You are an addict in denial.

And no, an addict can not recover.

It requires work EVERY DAY.

People are powerless over their addiction.

They must choose to not take the first one, or eventually/not so eventually they will die.

If you don't like AA, try one of the other fellowships.

See what you think.

Don't leave before the miracle happens.

I’m sorry OP but your belief that you’ll be able to moderate your drinking to just a little in time is a classic misconception for alcoholics - have one and you won’t be able to stop. Cutting it out completely is the only way; Maybe you’re not ready for that yet.

Re impulse control - yes, I don’t go around slapping people and don’t drink much. Most days I don’t drink alcohol at all. I have got good control there, and I’ve never smoked. So drinking and gambling are not a problem for me at all. But if I’m stressed or angry or upset or annoyed with myself, the food noise is horrendous and it tests my self control to the limit.

Yes, I agree. I’m overweight because I have trouble keeping my hand out of the biscuit tin. I got away with it pre menopause but not since. There’s no point bemoaning the fact that some folks are skinny and seem to be able to eat a fair bit - I have to accept that I’m not one of them and I have to accept that my portions have been too large and chocolate and biscuits every day is not a good idea.

Facebook groups, instagram, podcasts, quit lit. There is also an alcohol support and addiction support boards on here x

You're not an addict if this is true.

I don't actually think this, I think you are absolutely an addict and you're in denial/rationalising

What on EARTH makes you think your experience is relevant to a discussion on the nature of addiction?

If you are making a choice about every drink you have then you're not an addict, at least not in the strictest sense of the word 🤷🏼‍♀️

Impulse control is largely governed by the brain’s prefrontal cortex. This is an area of the brain that is significantly damaged by alcohol - that damage can persist for months/years after stopping drinking depending on the level of damage.

Of course there can be other reasons for poor impulse control (dementia, trauma) but poor impulse control is not a natural state for the human brain to be in - we’d never survive to adulthood otherwise. Your poor impulse control is almost certainly caused by your alcohol addiction/damage.

Good luck for the future - genuinely.

I don’t think an addict can ever recover, no. They’re one drink or fix away from reactivating their addiction.

My friend died of alcoholism and I never saw her drink or drunk, hard to believe I know. She no way wanted to die, she couldn't stop. There's very little keeping it in check, to think so is a fallacy that is the disease itself making you feel in control and responsibility whilst destroying you from the inside out. I'm sorry to be stark but that's my opinion. Of course people need AA and structural support, very few people can stop otherwise. Help would have made a difference to my friend, hardly anyone can do it alone.

Although I think that, the end result is something that can't be changed. That you're acknowledging it is a plus point.

I don’t think this is aimed at people like you somehow…

I know what you mean.
It's a keystone in AA/NA which do work for some folks. I'm not crazy on it but won't diss people who follow it.

Addicts have a choice but substances and addiction change your brain in a way that prevents you being able to make that choice rationally.

It is also your choice to take substances in the first place, but with alcohol for example, ten people can drink exactly the same amount and only one becomes addicted. It's often not possible to know if it will be you and alcohol is a widely accepted and encouraged social activity.

YANBU OP. I have self control and I'm not addicted to anything. I drink very very occasionally.

Yes I've tried a "drag" from a cigarette once or twice, but I didn't enjoy it and felt no need to do it again.

I think recovery is a state of being that requires work every day and that ‘recovered’ as a completed act isn’t possible. I say this as someone working with people dealing with, and in recovery from eating disorders. The behaviours may cease but the thoughts and emotional responses which had previously driven the behaviours remain to a greater or lesser degree depending on a whole range of factors. It’s a fact that one missed meal can trigger a relapse years down the line.

I agree that individual choice and autonomy is key to change, but it can take a really long time to bring hopeless, desperate people to a place where they can take responsibility for themselves each and every day for the rest of their lives. Because that's what being in recovery means.

I think you have misunderstood the message too.

You admit you are powerless, not helpless. It's the most empowering thing I've ever done and it is ALL about personal responsibility.

AA is not for everyone and that's OK but it has helped many people and it's always disheartening to hear an addict try to dissuade other people from giving it a go when the stakes are so high. I would never start a thread talking about the number of people who have tried many other methods and still ended up in the rooms of AA.

Alcoholism destroys lives and families. If you are affected then keep an open mind about solutions. It doesn't matter what method you use if it works. If it works you are winning and I'm pleased for you.

I kept going to meetings because it works for me and I have no intention of gambling the lovely life I have now to pretend I'm cured. I'm not cured but I can have lifelong recovery.

It’s the basic premise of AA which has worked for millions of people, but it’s not just that, there’s more to it with the 12 steps.

You haven't tried stopping and yet say you can stop if you want to? oooooookay

But you have poor impulse control because of the alcohol. The “fuck it” button is your brain telling you it needs alcohol because the alcohol has changed the way your brain functions. I’m currently sober after developing a problem and I’ve been researching lots of academic/scientific literature about what alcohol does to the brain and it explains why people can crave alcohol even months after being AF. I mean, who has poor impulse control around spinach or water? It’s always booze/drugs/sugar/junk food as these are the things that are designed to get us addicted (although Some people’s genetic make up and the ways in which genes are expressed make them more prone to addiction).

I’m not a fan of AA for various reasons but as PPs have said, the “powerlessness” aspect means a line into addiction has been crossed and people are unlikely to have control over alcohol long term. Most will relapse badly at some if they drink again.

I think you are kidding yourself on if you think you are “choosing” to drink. It’s much more likely that your addicted brain is telling you it needs its fix.

Huge, huge fan of AA here, without it god knows what my life would be like today, and that of my DCs.

I hope you find something that works for you OP