Possible final straw with DH

Ask him if he has cleaned the bed, washed the sheets and cleaned the bathroom.

Then ask yourself where your line is. It wasnt arranging sex with an elderly pensioner. It doesnt sound like it is shitting all over you, the bed and the bathroom.

why is your three year old away for a week?

I thought you were going to say he'd puked all over the carpet but this is worse. Does he get this drunk often.

Not wanting to deal with someone else's bodily fluids was on the list of the thousands of reasons why I didn't want/didn't have children. Having children isn't mandatory, you know.

I also don't want to have to clean up after another capable adult, either. If, god forbid, my partner ended up needing that type of help later in life I'd pay someone who is willing to do it.

Anyway, I'd get rid OP. That's beyond disgusting, and not even acknowledging what he's done is adding insult to injury. He must think you are a dumb blind idiot with no sense of smell...

I imagine when he woke he was equally horrified. I sense a note of him not knowing what to say. If it’s out of character id feel more forgiving but still be horrified at the impact. I’ve heard of this after people (so called mates) spiking drinks and food. It may just have been the volume of hooch. If you feel the need to stay away it’s up to you but I imagine it wasn’t done on purpose. I’d be making sure that was never happening again and if a new mattress was needed etc including all the laundry. I’d want to check he was ok though sounds like a bowel apocalypse! Can I just commend you on your story telling though. You had me in stitches… the layers of desperate revelation… I feel for ya!

Yeah, have one from me too.
LTB + 1

edit - that was in response to @SlightlyJaded who said:

Just seen your update
Cheating bed shitter? No thanks.
Have a very rare (from me) LTB

(for some reason the quote didn’t quote)

Your husband is a drunkard who messes the bed and has an old lady fetish?

I've deleted the dreadful thing I just wrote (dark sense of humour) but will say instead that if this is real then nobody is going to advise you to stay with him.

You must actually be heartbroken about his behaviour OP.
He is treating you so badly. It isn't you, it's him - he sounds like a dirty, self-serving pig.
I agree you need time away and use the time to plan an exit for you and your DC. What's the housing arrangement - can you get him out? x

After the escort updates, for me, it would be the end. I'd guarantee it wasn't a stomach bug or dodgy curry. He's been so hammered (or coked up) that he can't control his bowels. Do yourself a favour and end it. He's a liar at best, a cheat, escort user and druggy at worst. Hope you're messaged back telling him to clean up. That's all I'd be able to bring myself to say at the moment.

He said it was just a bit of fun

Lovely to know that if you ever decided to have a nosey on sites of other men you need not worry about what your DH may think as I'm sure he would take it as you having a bit of fun too.

Jesus Christ.

Gets that drunk he pebble dashes the sheets and bathroom. Looks up and chats to escorts (and they all say it was only chatting. There's a strong chance he's actually paying sex workers)

He's vile. Get your child away from this man.

Why is your three year old at grandparents for a week though?

This cannot be serious? What does he bring to the relationship that makes up for... any of what I've just read? If this is real OP run for the hills, or better yet, kick him out!

He's drinking far too much and /or he's taking coke. This is not the man you want to be a role model to your child

no no no no no, no.

Tell him to clean it up. Tell him to replace the mattress on next day delivery out of his own money, ditto the towels. See how he reacts.

If he habitually gets drunk to this extent, I'd reconsider the relationship - that isn't a healthy relationship with alcohol.

God that made me chuckle but you are so spot on!

Yep. Let this be the final straw OP.

What the hell have I read? He shits the bed after going too far with drinking and chats up women in their 80s online.

Definitely end it.

Does sound like that scene in trainspotting.

Whatever you decide about your marriage (this would be a dealbreaker for me), don't go home tonight if you have an alternative. It gives you time to think (or plan) and sends a message to your 'D'H

Trying to work out how interactions with an escort wasn't the last straw... 🧐

I’ve read your posts @BestMumAva , and you don’t say if he’s cleaned it up or not. (Though I know you aren’t home yet.)

I couldn’t forgive this either. Do you have kids?

But you wouldn’t sleep through it unless you were paralytic so definitely the alcohol!

It’s vile-leave him to it OP and enjoy a clean and stress free home, you’d be well rid.

Cocaine has a strong laxative effect for many people.

Nope I would never tolerate this level of drunken state, grim.