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Original poster

Possible final straw with DH

292 replies

BestMumAva · 05/02/2025 16:14

I have name changed for this because I'm so embarrassed.

My DH went out with the lads last night, i don't know what time he got in as I was already asleep. This morning my alarm went off for work and I noticed the room smelt absolutely foul. I couldn't work out where it was coming from at first and thought the dog had messed in the house. I pulled the covers back and to my absolute horror, DH had fallen asleep next to me with no pants on and the bed was filled with what I can only describe as fecal confetti. I was absolutely repulsed and really really upset that he had got himself into such a state that this could happen.
As if things couldn't get any worse, the bathroom looked like it had been pebble-dashed - up the walls, over the edge of the bath, on the towels. I'm disgusted by him.
I didnt clean it up and he was still comatose when i left for work. He has texted me around midday wishing me a good day at work as if nothing has happened.
I don't want to go home and i don't even know where to begin discussing this with him,
WIBU to stay at a friend's tonight?

OP posts:
ERthree · 05/02/2025 19:25

Please give your child a better life than they one they have with a cheating lying father.

SpringBunnyHopHop · 05/02/2025 19:22

Is this real? An 80 year old sex worker?
Whose great grandmother would really be doing that at 80?

Beeloux · 05/02/2025 19:20

Finding the messages with the 80yo prostitute would have been the final straw for me.

Easipeelerie · 05/02/2025 19:20

I don’t understand why you’re still with him.

JudgeJ · 05/02/2025 19:20

Createausername1970 · 05/02/2025 16:16

I would reply to his text and ask if he has cleaned the bathroom and changed the bedding.

Burned the bedding and been out to buy more!

ShelleyCarpenter · 05/02/2025 19:19

I’d never be able to kiss him again, let alone have sex with him. What a disgusting man.

MadeForThis · 05/02/2025 19:14

That's foul. So he's spent the day in bed?

Even if he was food poisoned he would have realised that he had shit all over the bed and up the walls. Eewwww

thescandalwascontained · 05/02/2025 19:14

He sounds gross and untrustworthy...

CustardySergeant · 05/02/2025 19:12

TwigletsAndRadishes · 05/02/2025 18:59

So where is your daughter OP?

The OP said she's staying with grandparents this week.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 05/02/2025 19:12

My favourite thing to think at times like this is 'what would you say to your best friend if they told you this was happening to them'?
Would you say 'oh everyone gets blind drunk and shits everywhere and or does drugs plus messages someone else about sex (at a minimum)' or would you say 'holy fuck that's awful, come stay with me for a few days while we sort everything out and you get advice around separation and housing etc'.

It's good timing that your daughter is away this week, gives you space and time to get things sorted before she returns. Children are incredibly resilient and adaptable if you present it as a big adventure.

Good luck op.

TwigletsAndRadishes · 05/02/2025 19:02

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 05/02/2025 18:49

Possible stomach flu? Lots of winter viruses are doing the rounds. Also, could be something more serious, bowel related. Best to see G.P. Not nice for you to wake up to. I’d hate that so much.

If he'd not been blind drunk he'd have been able to deal with his own stomach flu by waking up and reaching the loo in time. I've had some terrible, terrible stomach bugs in my time. I've never shat the bed and I've never missed the loo.

ThriveIn2025 · 05/02/2025 19:01

Raise. The. Bar.

SporadicMincePieMuncher · 05/02/2025 19:00

You wouldn't believe the number of people who go out drinking, eat something dodgy or just drink too much and who still make a good effort to contain it in the toilet. In fact, I'd go so far as to say they are in the overwhelming majority.

Tell him he's got 24 hours to clean up his shit from everywhere including sanitising it, properly.

mathanxiety · 05/02/2025 19:00

@BestMumAva

Don't be confused. If it was just a stomach bug he should have cleaned it up immediately. The fact is he's a lazy, drunken slob who is happy to literally wallow in his own shit and thinks it's good enough treatment for you too.

He clearly believes you'll put up with the most appalling disrespect.

This is not a man who loves, honors, or cherishes you.

TwigletsAndRadishes · 05/02/2025 18:59

So where is your daughter OP?

Zanzara · 05/02/2025 18:59

Justgorgeous · 05/02/2025 17:33

I wouldn’t want any of it washed. All in the bin and replaced.

This, all day, including the mattress.

Floralnomad · 05/02/2025 18:58

No stomach bug is bad enough to warrant the kind of mess that the OP has described , he’s an adult ffs . I’d just text him and say no stomach bug makes you comatose and incontinent and that this is the final straw . What would be your plan he moves out , you move out , do you have somewhere to go ?
I really want to know who the 3% are that think the OP is being unreasonable.

InternationalColossus · 05/02/2025 18:58

Assuming for the moment that this is true — obviously you need to leave him. He does not care about you, is not a safe person for your child to be around, and is repulsive.

Think about the values you want to
model to your dd. Self-respect should be one of them.

Babybaby2025 · 05/02/2025 18:53

That's vile. My husband has a stoma so I have woke up to the occasional accident, so it's not the shit that grosses me out, it's the idea that he can get himself so drunk that he can shit everywhere and not care. It would make me concerned what other vile / disinhibited behaviour he's capable of while drunk

Shetlands · 05/02/2025 18:53

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 05/02/2025 18:49

Possible stomach flu? Lots of winter viruses are doing the rounds. Also, could be something more serious, bowel related. Best to see G.P. Not nice for you to wake up to. I’d hate that so much.

What's the virus that makes a man get horny for 80 year old women?

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 05/02/2025 18:53

Oh! Just seen the bit about the escort! Noooo! Maybe cocaine related then. Goes hand in hand. Sorry love.

Merryoldgoat · 05/02/2025 18:52

It’s rare, but I truly don’t know where to begin with this thread.

Seriouslynonono · 05/02/2025 18:49

Cheating bed shitter? No thanks.

😆

C'mon OP - no-one is going to say anything other than this.
You know what you have to do.

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 05/02/2025 18:49

Possible stomach flu? Lots of winter viruses are doing the rounds. Also, could be something more serious, bowel related. Best to see G.P. Not nice for you to wake up to. I’d hate that so much.

WhereYouLeftIt · 05/02/2025 18:48

Wingedharpy · 05/02/2025 18:22

Are there many 80 year old women on escorts sites?

I actually stumbled across something on TV, a news programme (not sure which one as I dip into every channel's news and am inclined to channel-flick IYSWIM), yesterday or the day before, where a woman in her 70's was being interviewed about just this scenario - she has 2 or 3 clients a week, it supplements her income.

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