Possible final straw with DH

Well, that'll be the final straw for or me OP. Sorry you're going through this. I'd know where I'd be going.... off to contact a solicitor.... You and your child deserve more than this. Tell your folks what's happening and take a deep breath. 💐

Omg unbelievable behavior.

I’m so sorry but my god you will be so much better out of this absolute mess. He sounds absolutely revolting. Good luck - onwards and upwards without wasting a single minute more!

I'd phone your DH and say

Not only did you come home and shit so badly that it left the bathroom/bedroom, very nearly myself in an awful mess you then get your DM to come round and clear up after you, using the excuse that you had an upset tummy, no mention you rolled in having also had a gut full of booze.

Knowing that she dislikes me it's pretty obvious she'd be on the phone to me filling me in on exactly how much she dislikes me and how useless I am, is there a reason you did that and couldn't just man up and own the situation you yourself caused or was it to add to the further hurtful things that you have done to me?
If you really want a divorce that much just ask and I'll be happy to oblige...infact I'll be more than happy to start proceedings myself.

Could you have a chat with your work and see if you can take some leave, is your work something that could be done from home?

Please take time off work if you can and stay with your parents. I couldn't be with a grown man who shits the bed then calls mummy to come clear it up. With the mummy issues manifesting in him being in contact with an elderly sex worker, I'd be out of there quicker than he managed to shat up the walls.

I think they were further referring to my post, which seems to have triggered them for some unknown reason! x

If you can afford it, I'd stay where you are for the week (or go to the friend you mentioned before?).

What is the situation with your home? Is it jointly owned? Logically, you need the house for yourself and your daughter. He needs to move out. I know arranging that is where it becomes difficult.

Ultimately, you need to let him know that due to his alcohol addiction and prostitute use that you want a divorce. It's kind of irrelevant what his mother thinks, but I wouldn't hesitate to tell her about the prostitute. She'll be in denial about it of course.

Working out what you can do about where you and your daughter will live is your first priority and I understand how complex this is going to be.

But his recent behaviour is that of an addict and you can't allow your daughter to grow up in a home like that. The ONLY positive about all of this is that she was away for this horror.

So sorry @BestMumAva

I would be looking for a good solicitor to start divorce proceedings, and then if parents were supportive looking for a new job close to them. I would want a fresh start far away from him, his mother and their literal shit. If he had anything to say about any of that I would be telling him to discuss it with the octogenarian sex workers he favours.

You would think he would be so embarassed but he really doesn't sound it!

I think it would be time off well spent. You could get things in motion, separating out your share of your joint money, finding somewhere to live etc. Take your passports, birth certificates, and marriage certificate plus any paperwork for pensions and savings, that sort of thing.

@BestMumAva can you afford to rent somewhere or do you think you could get him to move out ?

Well done for not cleaning it all up!

So did you tell his mum that he had shat the bed and was passed out pissed ?

Jesus. Tell his mum about him being drunk AND the escort then mute her. You and your child deserve better than this.

Disgraceful!

Tell her the facts about her precious son OP. Do it. It's disgraceful.

"Reply to your MIL with the actual facts, i.e. her precious son was drunk and possibly on drugs not ill with a stomach bug and he has been searching for escorts who are older than she is"

@thepariscrimefiles this OP. Short and shocking but all facts.

Isn't your child staying with your mum at the moment?

I suspect that if the OP told his Mum, she wouldn't believe her anyway. She's going to take her son's side and believe whatever he tells her.

You need to tell his mum

but also wake up to the fact he wanted you home to clean it up nothing else and he wasn’t going to remotely try to do so himself that is enough for me to know it is over

I'm so sorry OP, but you need to tell his mother exactly what happened! How dare he make out that you neglected him?! He was pissed and possibly coked up, not ill!
I'd be having none of that! She'd know asap.
And I'd still be looking at leaving him. He clearly doesn't give a shit about you at all!

Well, I'd be grateful that his mum did it and not him, as there is no way he would have done it properly.

I would definitely leave him after the sexting but this would just be the final nail.

Reply to your MIL with the actual facts, i.e. her precious son was drunk and possibly on drugs not ill with a stomach bug and he has been searching for escorts who are older than she is.

Oh god that sounds awful, what a little man-child. Can you hotel again tonight, work tomorrow, then both you and your child stay with your parents for a few days? It may be worth taking the time off anyway, it sounds like you have a lot to get your head around.

Have you explained his sexual predilections to his mother? That may help get her off your back for a while.