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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was I so rude???

243 replies

Mulberrypie · 05/02/2025 15:54

I am a new mum so looking for your opinion on what happened to me the other day. I am a single mum of a 4 month old baby who doesn't sleep much. Don't get much help, which is fine and when my baby sleeps I can get some mental brake. Was waiting at the till in Home Bargins and there were 2 ladies extremely loud, laughing and jumping flirting with the cashier, who was giving them bags for free... My wee one just managed to fall asleep so I thought it will be ok to ask for them to keep it the noise down. What a backlash I have received... both ladies shouting at me that I am soooo rude, joined by the cashier. I explained that I only asked politely and there is no need to get upset but was told not to take my child onto the shop... I get that, I wouldn't if I had another option. I left and was crying all the way back home. I think due to being exhausted and also the fact that I asked 2 mature ladies hoping they would understand... Maybe I was in wrong? This really bugs me... What would u do?

OP posts:
PreciousMahoney · 05/02/2025 20:04

So lads

How do we stand on the Lidl shoppers?

Ddakji · 05/02/2025 19:50

The bar for behaviour in public in the UK is incredibly low, OP, as you’ve discovered not just from your encounter but from the posters here.

How I wish we were more like Japan where talking loudly in public is really frowned upon.

But here, unless something actually has a law created about it, anything goes. So many people don’t know how to behave unless they are told by the state.

I hope you managed to get some sleep this afternoon!

Saggyknickers · 05/02/2025 19:49

pictoosh · 05/02/2025 18:15

Last weekend a man halted in the entrance of M&S to audibly howk up a massive gurgling ball of phlegm, only to then shoot it out on the ground with a splat, exactly where people walk in and out.
Never seen anyone do that at Home Bargains. Revolting.

He was probably drunk and mistook it for Home Bargans to be fair.

I refuse to believe a customer of M&S would act in such a loutish manner.

AnnaL94 · 05/02/2025 19:47

heyhopotato · 05/02/2025 16:31

the last time I went in there the woman in front of me in the queue was wearing a t-shirt in support of Tommy Robinson, if that helps

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I’m a regular Home Bargains shopper and am probably considering a “Loony lefty 2-tier Keir lover” by the Tommy Robinson lot.

Can we all stop with the blatant classism about Home Bargains?

thinktwice36 · 05/02/2025 19:44

PreciousMahoney · 05/02/2025 19:42

Were all the women in pyjamas?

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Not me, I have standards 😂

Saggyknickers · 05/02/2025 19:44

heyhopotato · 05/02/2025 16:31

the last time I went in there the woman in front of me in the queue was wearing a t-shirt in support of Tommy Robinson, if that helps

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🤣🤣🤣

Saggyknickers · 05/02/2025 19:42

IncaDove · 05/02/2025 15:58

What demographic is that?

Edited
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Chavs. Sorry, but chavs is what that poster means, isn't it obvious?

PreciousMahoney · 05/02/2025 19:42

thinktwice36 · 05/02/2025 19:37

I’m a raging snob and I love a bit of home bargains.

was in B&M today too 😂

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Were all the women in pyjamas?

BatchCookBabe · 05/02/2025 19:40

thinktwice36 · 05/02/2025 19:37

I’m a raging snob and I love a bit of home bargains.

was in B&M today too 😂

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Ewwwwwww, you must be super common and SO POOR! 😂

You'll be telling us you've been in Poundland and Poundstretcher next! 😬

BatchCookBabe · 05/02/2025 19:39

KarminaBurana · 05/02/2025 19:35

This. Why should women have to be quiet? It's a public place, they can be loud if they want to. It's not Kabul (thank god)
.

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This. ^ As I said, if you want silence, go to a library, or a Church, or for a walk in the countryside or something! I'm not being quiet for YOU. Even if I am a layydeee! 😂

thinktwice36 · 05/02/2025 19:37

Getitwright · 05/02/2025 15:57

I feel for you OP. Sadly the demographic found in Home Bargains is possibly the issue here. I’m astonished daily at how unthinking, downright awful some folks can be around poor behaviour and a lack of understanding around others.

I’m a raging snob and I love a bit of home bargains.

was in B&M today too 😂

KarminaBurana · 05/02/2025 19:35

ValentineValentineV · 05/02/2025 16:25

I feel for you OP, you sound exhausted but women should not be silenced.

This. Why should women have to be quiet? It's a public place, they can be loud if they want to. It's not Kabul (thank god)
.

user2848502016 · 05/02/2025 19:35

I really feel for you because it's so hard when you have a young baby that doesn't sleep.

But it is unreasonable to ask people to be quiet in a public place, even though it does sound like they were being annoying!

MumoftwoGranofone · 05/02/2025 19:32

I'm sorry they weren't more understanding. Hugs

Goodluckanddontfitup · 05/02/2025 19:27

Getitwright · 05/02/2025 15:57

I feel for you OP. Sadly the demographic found in Home Bargains is possibly the issue here. I’m astonished daily at how unthinking, downright awful some folks can be around poor behaviour and a lack of understanding around others.

Demographic? What a ridiculous notion that only a certain ‘demographic’ shop in home bargains. They literally sell things that everyone needs just sometimes a bit cheaper. So your ‘demographic’ are buying the same stuff but a more expensive and think you are better? Seems pretty stupid to me but ok! Please do confirm which shops you deem acceptable though so that I can avoid them and not have to deal with people like you looking down their noses at everyone.

GretchenWienersHair · 05/02/2025 19:23

Getitwright · 05/02/2025 15:57

I feel for you OP. Sadly the demographic found in Home Bargains is possibly the issue here. I’m astonished daily at how unthinking, downright awful some folks can be around poor behaviour and a lack of understanding around others.

Stupid comment.

JayJayEl · 05/02/2025 19:22

Getitwright · 05/02/2025 16:32

That’s a leap you have made, “lower class” not me. I never brought “class” into it. Maybe intelligence, empathy, ability to string a sentence together without thinking someone deserves to be called a c*nt or “mate” That sort of person maybe?

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If people in your area speak like that to one another then you're obviously living in an especially undesirable area.
I find it particularly funny that you think being called "mate" is as bad as someone calling you a "c*"! Haha.
Also - all other insults aside - what has someone's social demographic got to do with empathy?
You're bonkers you are, mate.

PreciousMahoney · 05/02/2025 19:19

JayJayEl · 05/02/2025 19:15

Wow. Aren't you delightful?!

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I think you meant frightful

LovelySunnyDayToday · 05/02/2025 19:17

UrbanFan · 05/02/2025 15:59

Why oh why are so many women so loud! Poor you and I bet you are tired. You encountered some horrible selfish people who have no consideration for anyone else around them. I bet other people in the store wanted them to quiet down too.

Report the cashier to the manager or write directly to Home Bargains head office. Plenty of people would like that job. You have every right to take your child to the shops. Do they think you should leave them home alone.

And they weren't 'ladies'.

Some men are loud too. Tbf.

JayJayEl · 05/02/2025 19:15

Getitwright · 05/02/2025 16:32

That’s a leap you have made, “lower class” not me. I never brought “class” into it. Maybe intelligence, empathy, ability to string a sentence together without thinking someone deserves to be called a c*nt or “mate” That sort of person maybe?

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Wow. Aren't you delightful?!

fiorentina · 05/02/2025 19:07

I wouldn’t be offended if someone mentioned their sleeping baby. But I wouldn’t squeal and shout in a shop, it’s so odd and just generally shows a lack of consideration.

Hope you start to get more sleep soon.

PreciousMahoney · 05/02/2025 19:01

MWNA · 05/02/2025 18:34

Poor, common people.

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Ah OK that's me then. I have tattoos

PoorPlanning · 05/02/2025 18:58

BatchCookBabe · 05/02/2025 18:16

100% YABU! @Mulberrypie You can't tell people how to behave, and that they can't laugh and talk and chat and giggle (and be a bit loud in a public store.) That's just daft to think you have the right!

If someone told me to STFU in a public place 'so their baby can sleep' I would laugh at them, and purposely be louder. Don't tell me to shut up! Hmm Go to a library or a Church if you want silence!

And people can just pack it in with this 'there's a certain type of person that goes in Home Bargains' shit as well... People from all walks of life go in there. Stupid fucking shitty comment! Hmm

Oh and as for 'they weren't ladies........' Actually pissing myself laughing at THAT comment. How should a laaayyydeee behave pray tell? 😂 Should we all be quiet and demure and only speak when we're spoken to?! LOL fuck off!

If someone told me to STFU in a public place 'so their baby can sleep' I would laugh at them, and purposely be louder. Don't tell me to shut up!

Would you have done that to a tired mum with an exhausted demeanour and a little baby? I would not do what the OP did, but I would not behave so nastily in return to a shattered new mum. You sound a little aggressive in manner.

2107emc · 05/02/2025 18:57

Yeah, you were in the wrong OP. While I have sympathy for why you felt compelled to ask them to be quiet (through the sheer exhaustion of new motherhood), imagine their shock at hearing you interject and essentially pour a bucket of cold water over their fun. I can't imagine they continued to have a laugh after that buzzkill interruption. I'm sorry you were upset on the way home, but I'm sure your words lingered with them too.
It's hard enough to find moments of levity in life. As plenty of ppl have pointed out, you had other options available to you. I don't think you chose the best one, unfortunately.

Londonfridgeisfalling · 05/02/2025 18:55

I am sorry OP, i think you were being rude. You can't ask strangers to keep their voices down bc your baby is sleeping. They are not family or friends. They were also probably embarrassed to be told this in front of the cashier who they were flirting with. If I were you , I would have left the queue, walked round the shop and joined back again when they've left.